Be My Senorita
by Mrs. Amaro
Summary: Olivia makes big chnages in her life after the trial. This is my first fic so I would appreciate it very much of you would r&r.
1. Chapter 1 New beginings

This so far is a one shot depending on the amount of reviews I get I have no problem continuing as an Olivia & Nick story. We begin after the episode Undercover Blues airs. Olivia makes some big changes in her life after the aftermath of the trial. There's tension between Benson and Amaro stemming from Nick's interference into her relationship with Brian but it's visible by them.

It's Saturday morning, the third day of April. It's early, barely eight. Her apartment is full of boxes some filled ready to be taped up and labeled, others empty waiting for items to fill them up. With her bedroom done Olivia's next feat is to pack up the kitchen. A few knocks at the front door turns her head in the direction of the light tapping. She puts down the 4x4 box a little annoyed. It can't be a neighbor she barely even knows who lives next door let alone who lives across the hall. Olivia is hardly ever home, her home away from home is the precinct. It's not her landlord because she's not turning in the keys until the middle of the month. Olivia's facial expression says it all when she discovers who it is on the opposite side of threshold. A soft silent but annoyed expression of _why are you here_ is written all over face.

"Nick now is not a good time, sorry." She closes the door but his hand prevents it from closing in his face.

"Liv I'm just here with a peace offering." Nick held up a small white bag and two cups of coffee nestled in a cup carrier.

"Really?" She doesn't believe him and moves over to let him in. He's surprised at all the cardboard boxes around.

"Going somewhere?" Nick was actually stunned to see that she would just quit the force like that over a little disturbance between them.

"Uh…usually when someone packs up their place it means they're moving." Her eyes darted quickly away from him. She was not interested in making eye contact. At work they were careful not to let on they were merely speaking unless it involved a case. They both came to the conclusion after having words in the crib concerning Olivia's love life they would not ask for a partner switch. Amanda seems to be content working with Fin and vice versa although Olivia did entertain the idea of working with her sergeant, John Munch who she rarely gets to team up with. When Nick offered the trade to her she was adamant that they didn't need to do the partner do-si-do again.

_Flashback to two weeks ago, the trial was over and Brian was convicted of rape. Nick was in the crib skyping with his daughter Zara when Olivia walked in unaware he was engaged in a private conversation. She waited at the entryway with her hand on the handle propping the door open. His back was to her. After a few seconds Nick knew the person behind him wasn't leaving, not affording him the privacy to chat with his daughter._

"_Hey sweetie daddy's gotta go and I can't wait to see you this weekend. Be a good girl for your mom ok and I'll bring you something special when I see you. I love you piquita."_

"_You will, what is it daddy?" The apparent smile on his face was over his daughter's inquisitiveness. His mother always told him Zara definitely favored him in the personality department. She also told him on more than one occasion not even a heat wave would melt Maria's personality of an ice cube. _

"_Well honey that's why it's called a surprise. Let me talk to mommy ok?"_

"_Ok daddy I love you."_

"_Love you too baby bye bye."_

"_Bye daddy." Maria came into view on his screen. _

"_Why do you always think you can buy her affection with something?"_

"_I'm not buying her affection remember you're the one who left and took my daughter and you always seem to conveniently cancel when it's my weekend to have her so don't you lecture me on what I can and can't buy my daughter!"_

"_She's taking this separation hard; you giving her gifts don't help matters."_

"_Look Maria if you don't have anything constructive to say I'm going because I have work that's keeping me."_

"_Fine! Goodbye." Nick ended his conversation with her then stood up facing Olivia now. _

"_Sorry about that did you want something?" he asked setting his iPad on the cot. Olivia closed the door._

"_You know you have one hell of a nerve!" She spoke with a vengeance in her voice yet careful not to raise her voice too many octaves where her coworkers were in ear shot. Nick jolted from the bed and came within inches of her his teeth gritted._

"_I have one hell of a nerve? Who are you kidding shacking up with the enemy?"_

"_Like you didn't sleep with that prostitute!" she scoffed. Nick couldn't believe his ears. He was shocked; this was supposed to be his partner who had sided with him when he was being grilled under cross examination about sleeping with one of Bart Ganzler's escorts and now all of sudden she has a change of heart. This was personal with her._

"_I never slept with her. I respect the sanctimony of my marriage even in the current state it's in right now and I didn't sleep with that whore!" Olivia had never seen her partner expel such anger before. Maybe his actions were in support of his innocence. _

"_Right," Olivia said rolling her eyes._

"_You're out of line!" He shouted._

"_No you're out of line. What the hell did you and Munch think you were doing? Hoping to catch us rolling in the hay?" His gaze was hard and cold. He walked away from her with his hands on his hips. He took a breath before turning around and walking back into her personal space. _

"_You know Liv I get that you prefer to keep your private life private but I never thought for once you would take up with someone like Cassidy. You warn your victims about men like him."_

"_Cassidy is none of your business nor is my relationship with him. I had a partner who at times meddled in my private life and now I'm getting the same treatment from you?" They stood in what seemed like a stare down. He frowned at her-looking down._

_You're right he's not he's in jail where he belongs!" Nick walked past her without giving it a second thought. Olivia was fuming, her mouth slightly ajar. He had struck a nerve. Deep down she knew he was right. Being undercover for so long it turns you to that side. The temptation was too great to avoid and not even Olivia could turn him back to the sweet innocent man she worked with thirteen years ago._

"So this is it you're just packing up and leaving?" She eyed the bag he had.

"I'm not leaving what gave you that impression?"

"I…I just assumed with all these boxes. You mean you're not going?" There was a bit of joy in his voice. Nick walked into her kitchen and placed the coffee tray and bag down. She was starring when he turned back around. His denim jeans always seem to fit him so well and his gray hoodie and converse sneakers made him look even that much younger. She quickly caught herself and averted her attention back to the disarray of her living room.

"Donuts-blueberry-your favorite."

"Oh so now you eat donuts? Sorry I can't take a break right now I need to get this stuffed packed."

"Need any help?"

"No, I'm fine I actually have a plan," she said snidely.

"Liv I'm sorry about what happened, I was onl-"

"Nick save it ok. It's over so let's just move forward ok?"

"I don't want to keep going on like this."

"Like what?"

"Like this, barely speaking except for work." Olivia crossed into the kitchen with a box brushing his arm as she entered.

"Nick I'm really busy here as you can see so please can you just go. Will talk soon I promise." He hadn't worked with his partner long enough to know when she's peeved about something it takes longer than two weeks for her to get over it. His face was impassive. He lifted his head up at her nodding as he walked by her and out the door.

Work went on as usual, the coolness between Nick and Olivia had subsided some. She was thrilled to be finally done with the transaction of buying her first home. Three and half grueling months of routine paper work her loan officer kept telling her. No one warned her how tedious it was to buy a foreclosed home but the three bedroom two bath with a big back yard was finally hers. Olivia now lived in Brooklyn New York. She had been seriously pondering giving up living in the city she grew up in and the whole idea of putting money into someone else's pocket with renting year after year. The fact that she was getting older and the hopes of having a family were growing smaller and smaller with each passing year. Her new year's resolution this year was to put a plan into action and there were still plenty of foreclosures available. She invested the money wisely her mother left her upon her death which allowed her to put a sizable down payment on her new home. Olivia moved into a lovely neighborhood with two parks a stone's throw away from one another. It had only been two weeks now that she was in her new home and already a problem arose.

"You charge ninety five dollars an hour just to walk through my door and look at a pipe?" She rolled her eyes at this information. Nick shook his head waving a finger at her mouthing _no way._

"Ok thank you," she said throwing her head back against the head rest. Nick whistled with disgust at the fee Olivia was just quoted.

"Liv I can recommend the plumber who did work in our house if you want."

"Does he charge ninety five an hour?"

"Nah he was pretty reasonable I'll give him a shout."

"Thanks." Nick placed the call as they exited the cruiser and headed into the precinct.

"He can't get to you until next week."

"What's another week of cold showers."

"What exactly is wrong with the pipes? Doesn't it fall under your home owners insurance?"

"The shower in the master bedroom leaks and the hot water turns cold in a matter of seconds and I'm tired of taking cold showers and no only if I have a flood. It's a maintenance problem not an insurance problem. Great policies these companies sell today," she said in one long breath.

"I can look at it. We had a leak and I fixed us saving us a ton of money."

"No offense but you're not a licensed plumber and if anything goes wrong I wouldn't want to ask you to sign over your next paycheck."

"I'll just take a look so that way you'll be able to let the guy know when he comes next week." Olivia thought for a minute.

"Ok."

"Great I'll drop you off home later." They locked eyes before Nick left to get a drink from the refrigerator.

They pulled up her to her place. The neighborhood kids played outside while parents sat on porches or worked in the yard. Lawn mowers buzzed and the smell of barbeque grills cooking the evening dinner smelled heavenly. Sets of eyes watched her walk up her sidewalk retrieving her mail from the box with a dark haired man in tow. Her neighbors waved as she waved back.

"This is nice place you have here Liv." "Thanks." There were still boxes that had not been unpacked. Nick laid his suit coat over the arm of her couch, loosened his tie lifting it over his head then rolled up his sleeves.

"I like it." She showed him to the bedroom. "Bathroom is right there." Ten minutes later Nick came into the living room. When he passed by the spare bedroom he noticed she had furniture covered in white sheets but noticed a wooden runner belonging to a rocking chair poking out from the sheet. His first thought was a nursery. _Liv's pregnant_ _with_ _Brian's baby_. All of a sudden he looked dejected.

"Basement?" She pointed to the door leading downstairs. He returned in a few minutes.

"I think I fixed your problem."

"Really?"

"Come see." She stepped into the tub shower combination. "See look, the threads are stripped on the valve and this plastic O-ring is worn out. Twenty bucks will buy you a new a valve and O-ring at your local hardware store and the reason why the water turns cold after a few minutes is because your thermostat is old. Probably fifty dollars and your problems are solved."

"How do you know this without taking one journey class?"

"I'm a man we just know." She scoffed at his dry sense of humor.

"Thank you Nick." She smiled. The first smile he's seen from her in a while.

"No problem I'll send you my bill." He rolled down his sleeves as they walked back out to the living room. He picked up his tie and put it around his loosely opened collar.

"You want to stay for dinner?" She had a few take out menus in her hand looking hopeful. Nick hesitated looking around.

"Sure."

"Chinese, Italian, pizza?" She tilted her head as he looked over the menus.

"Chinese," he said. Olivia ordered the food and surprisingly it arrived quickly. Nick was holding his stomach an hour later yielding to the feeling of being stuffed.

"Dinner was great. It's getting late so I better get going. I'll be back to pick you up in the morning."

"That's ok I'll catch the bus and now I have the other cruiser. He wanted to say a woman in your condition shouldn't be riding a bus or a train or taking a plane. This reminded him of when Maria was pregnant with Zara and how protective he was of her. "What?"she said looking at him. Nick stared to long at her.

"I saw the room with the furniture covered up there's a rocker in there. Is this why you moved because you're pregnant with his baby?"

"What? How dare you insinuate that! Nick just go, get out"

"Olivia do you really know the reason I was upset to learn of your involvement with Cassidy,"

"No I don't." She was shaken up at his accusation. She crossed her arms looking away. She didn't want to tell anyone of her plans until it was time. Nick moved closer to her.

"No please just go."

"Olivia I'll go but not without telling you this first." When she made eye contact with him her eyes were wet and glassy. He stood looking at her wanting to take her into his arms and never let go.

"I wished I was him. I wanted you to feel about me me the way you feel about him." Olivia was stunned and speechless to hear his declaration. When we hugged before you left on your trip to the Bahamas I felt something then." Olivia wasn't sure if she wanted to faint or vomit. She was overwhelmed with what had just transpired. She needed water at this point. Her mouth all of a sudden became dry and there was a huge lump in her throat. She got a glass down from the cupboard and quickly filled it with tap water. Nick knew by watching her behavior he was taking a risk declaring his feelings for her. Why the hell not? His estranged marriage was going nowhere.

"You can't just com-" Her words got hitched in her throat causing her to take a bigger gulp of her water. She wiped the droplet of water from her chin.

"Nick," She shook her head, her voice shook with nervousness. "You can't do this to me." He inched closer and Olivia turned her back on him.

"I'm sorry Liv but it's how I feel." He stepped closer; Olivia gripped the counter top anticipating what was to come. He placed a hand on her shoulder. She felt his breath on the back of her neck. "Liv look at me." She did but she didn't want to face him knowing what was going to be. Olivia didn't know what to do, her mind was fighting the urge but her heart was the bigger decider. She felt as if life had been sucked from her when Brian was convicted of rape. Olivia had invested so much into this relationship but in the end it was like all of her past relationships…failures.

"No."

"Please." She wanted to turn around and throw her arms around her partner.

"I can't." He heard that from her lips but he didn't hear the inaudible, _if I do we both know what's going to happen. _Gone was his hand, slowly pulling away from her skin. Olivia shuddered and it became so cold now. She heard his shoes make their pivot and his footsteps leading away were deafening to her heart. The skin on her hands tightened, her fingertips becoming bright red. By the number of footsteps it takes to get to her front door she knew he was almost there.

"Wait." Like a whisper escaping from her throat Olivia turned. Now she was facing his back now. He rotated and she saw his sweet smile. Their gaze was intense, their feet in the same cadence towards one another. Nick's lips slowly clamped down onto hers. Olivia's arms went around his neck. His hands securely fastened at her waist as they engaged into some heated kissing. Separated by air their hearts beats accelerated"

"I'm gonna go now," Nick said trying to expel what little breath he had left. Her hand slowly slipped from his grasp.

"Nick." He put on his coat looking worried seeing her expression. Olivia stood with her arms crossed.

"I'm not pregnant and what I'm about to tell you stays between you and me got it?"

"Sure."

"I'm going through an agency in Connecticut to have a lady be a surrogate for me. What you saw was a nursery soon to be this November."

"Olivia that's wonderful, my god you're going to be a momma!" She couldn't hold back the emotion any longer. As one tear fell down her cheek another one was quick to follow. He pulled her into a hug.

"Yeah," she whispered resting on his shoulder. Her eyes were closed, a small smile appearing on her lips.


	2. Chapter 2 Take a chance on me

Thank you all for your awesome reviews! Much appreciated. I was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs debating whether or not to write a fic. Let me just say ff would not be ff without you. Read on!

This so far is a one shot depending on the amount of reviews I get I have no problem continuing as an Olivia & Nick story. We begin after the episode Undercover Blues airs. Olivia makes some big changes in her life after the aftermath of the trial. There's tension between Benson and Amaro stemming from Nick's interference into her relationship with Brian but it's visible by them.

The following day at work seemed awkward for both Nick and Olivia after the kiss they shared. At one time they got up at the same time to do different tasks almost walking over one another and another time Nick kept his eyes on Olivia a little too long when she walked away from her desk. Thank goodness Amanda was bent over rummaging through case files in her bottom drawer and Fin was in the john at precisely that moment otherwise four eyes and four ears are ammunition for the gossip wagon. The text she sent to him read meet after work corner of 116 & Newton Place.

He got out of his car and into hers. "Hey." "Hey," she replied. They sat in silence for a while. Finally Olivia spoke calmly with reservation.

"Nick, what happened yesterday can't ever happen again."

"I know I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for, we…just got caught up in a moment. We both were vulnerable." The lines on Nick's forehead rippled. He closed his eyes in disbelief.

"Is that all it was to you just a moment?"

"Nick you know what I mean."

"No I don't. It meant something to me so please explain." Olivia pursed her lips and sighed.

"You're married and maybe you're confused about your feelings for me, I don't know but I do know you're married and I'm not about to be the one responsible for coming between you and your family."

"Dammit Liv don't get all holy than now on me! What about David?"

"What about him he was divorced."

"So you were ok with being the other woman and step mother to his children?"

"Ok this conversation is over." She made the move to turn over the engine.

"No wait, wait just a minute. Sorry bad choice of sentence structure." She turned off the car. "What I meant is that you were ok with staying in a relationship with baggage. Liv my marriage is just about over. Maria is just waiting for me to call it quits so she can tell Zara it was my all my fault because I couldn't separate my work from my family."

"What are you saying, you're filing for divorce?" Nick leaned against the window propping his head up with his fist. The sadness in his eyes was so transparent. He stared ahead.

"Nick." "She doesn't look at me the way she did before, we don't talk to one another like we used to. She's changed so much I don't even feel I know her anymore. You think you know someone so well and bam your world is turned upside down just like that." He snapped his fingers so loud it made Olivia flinch.

"What about marriage counseling?"

"We went once and she said she felt the counselor and I were in cahoots against her."

"Did she know anything about the accusations against you?"

"No."

"It's just time Liv. She's given me every signal she doesn't want to be married to me anymore."

"I'm sorry Nick." "Yeah," he said his eyes glassy but he wouldn't look at her.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow." Olivia reached out to touch his arm but he was too fast exiting the car. She watched him get into his cruiser and drive off. How did it get to this she wondered? Nick consumed the three bottles of Dos Equis beer left in the six pack he bought two days ago. Olivia uncovered the chair in the nursery and sat in the dark rocking until she nodded off. The next day at work Fin left a card on Olivia's desk. She read it after arriving and getting settled at her desk. She noticed Nick was not there. She caught herself before asking where her partner was.

"Thanks Fin."

"No problem its a little late. So when do we get the invite to the house warming party?"

"Soon, I'm just about done unpacking and arranging and rearranging."

"We look forward to it Liv," Munch said coming into the conversation.

"Who said you were invited?" Fin smirked taking his seat.

"Detective Tutuola relive my tired old worn eyes with these pictures of kiddie porn. I think I'm beginning to see double. Munch laid a thick folder on Fin's desk soliciting a look from him.

"Where's Amaro?" Fin asked. "He's taking a personal day," Munch replied. Olivia's curiosity perked learning of Nick's absence.

"Everything ok?" Amanda asked.

"He didn't say just that he'd be in tomorrow. Liv if you need a partner I'm available." Munch told her. She smiled in thanks.

"You really like this role of acting Captain huh?" Fin joked.

"All the better to keep my eyes on you Detective Tutuola." Amanda snickered causing her partner to throw a disapproving look her way. Olivia texted Nick but he didn't come right back which worried her. After work she ran into his mother at his house. Mrs. Amaro was beautiful and so petite. Nick looked like his mom. Olivia never met his father so she didn't know if he had some of his father's features or not but Nick bore a strong resemblance to this woman. She remembered what Nick shared with her about his abusive father and immediately felt sorry for this woman who had to suffer the heavy handed blows of her husband during their marriage.

"Hi I'm Nick's mom."

"I'm Olivia his partner."

"Oh si nice to meet you Olivia. Do you know where Nick is? We were supposed to have dinner but he never showed and he's not my calls."

"Ah no I haven't and that's why I'm here too. I've texted and called too but no answer."

"I hope he didn't go to D.C. I've told him she is just breaking his heart stringing him along. She is evil I tell you, to keep him from his baby girl." There was obvious resentment in his mother's voice towards her Maria.

"He never said anything to me. If you hear from him can you tell him to call me please?"

"Sure dear I will." Olivia started down the sidewalk then turned around.

"Mrs. Amaro can I drop you somewhere?" The woman thought for a moment.

"Sure the busses never run on time. Thank you Olivia."

"My pleasure." They reached the cruiser and no sooner did Nick pull up. He put his sun glasses atop his head then reached in the back for his bag. He had workout clothes on and his arms fit his black t-shirt nicely. Olivia couldn't help but stare. He wondered what his partner and mother were doing together at his house.

"Nicky there you are. Where have you been mio? I've been calling and calling. We were supposed to have dinner." It dawned on him and he felt bad for forgetting. Olivia smiled at the reference _Nicky._

"I'm so sorry ma I went to the gym and didn't take my phone."

"Are you ok mio? You seem despondent lately and you look thin are you eating?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I'll get a quick shower and we can go."

"Hey Liv what's up?" Olivia followed him up the walkway.

"Just checkin on my partner you didn't answer my text or call either." He secretly liked that she cared about him.

"Sorry I needed to blow off some steam plus I took a personal day, had something to take care of."

"A return call still would have been nice."

"Like I said I was busy time got away from me."

"Whatever Nick, enjoy dinner with your mom." Olivia walked back down the walkway passing by his mother.

"It was nice meeting you."

"You too dear thank you for being so concerned about my son."

"He's my partner that's what we do for each other." The two ladies smiled and Olivia went on her way. Hours later she looked at her watch when she heard the doorbell ring. There was no peep hole in her front door so she moved the tiny curtain aside that covered the plate window next to the door.

"Making late house calls now?"

"I'm sorry about earlier can I come in?" She nodded and he passed by her. She smelled the almost worn off cologne. Olivia had a liking for a nice smelling cologne and especially if it was on a nice smelling man.

"I can't get you off my mind."

"Nick we've been all through this." She sounded exasperated.

"I filed for divorce today."

"You did what?"

"It's over between us and she'll sign the papers no contesting."

"And you think this paves the way for you and me?"

"No…yes look Liv all I know is that I want to be with you and I feel you want to be with me too. I mean the way you kissed me back two nights ago." Olivia sat down. Nick stood.

"Tell me you didn't feel something." Her head was down staring at the floor. Slowly her head came up meeting his eyes.

"I did but Nick we work together it just wouldn't work out. One of us would have to transfer out and I'm not transferring. My plan is to retire in five years. I'll have my twenty five."

"Neither one of us would have to transfer. No one has to know we're involved, Liv will figure it out."

"You can't be seen with me going through a divorce. Maria will use it against you and take you to the cleaners. I can't believe you haven't thought of this."

"See that's where you wrong. I think she's seeing someone. Zara mentioned Maria going to dinner with a guy named Mark while her grandmother babysat."

"Oh Nick that could have been anybody, someone she works with, strictly platonic. You're a good detective but you have blinders on!" He felt as if his chest wanted to heave. They stared at one another.

"Ok I won't talk about it anymore. Sorry to bother you so late." Olivia got up to go after him.

"Hold on Nick. See this is what I don't want happening between us. You walk away mad and what is bothering you festers affecting our friendship our partnership." He got close to her.

"At work I look at you and all I know is that I want you and it kills me that I can't touch you." he said. Puffs of air escaped from her lips.

"I know."

"You do?" He looked puzzled.

"Yes. You don't think it's hard for me too? I am attracted to you but I'm scared." He swallowed hard.

"We can do this Liv without jeopardizing anything just follow my lead."

"That's what scares me." Nick stepped even closer. He noticed she was trembling as he encircled her with his arms. "Liv it'll be ok trust me please." Nick felt her head nod in agreement against his. He stepped back after their long embrace. Cupping her face in his hands he gingerly pressed his lips against hers and soon it deepened into a French kiss. He was pushing her back against the wall kissing her feverishly. Her leg went around his thigh and he reached holding it in place. She clawed at his shirt wanting to rip the buttons right off. His hands skimmed over her breasts as his lips locked onto her throat then his mouth sunk lower. He was becoming hard as she was becoming wet with desire.

"Whoaaaa what," Olivia said as Nick swept her feet out from under her and carried her back to the bedroom locking lips all the way there.


	3. Chapter 3 Happy together

Keep those reviews coming they inspire me xoxo! The rating will soon change to M so bear with me ok :D

We begin after the episode Undercover Blues airs. Olivia makes some big changes in her life after the aftermath of the trial. There's tension between Benson and Amaro stemming from Nick's interference into her relationship with Brian but it's only visible by them.

Nick had had it with the constant noise coming from Olivia's freezer. He threw off the blanket and got up fetching his trousers. He was checking out the freezer compartment of her refrigerator when she came into the kitchen in her bathrobe. "Amaro stop finding things wrong with my place." Olivia walked to the cupboard and retrieved the canister of coffee. Her eyes were barely open and there was crankiness in her voice. Next she filled the carafe with water and poured it down into the machine.

"Sorry but the noise this thing cranked out all night kept me up." he said. Nick fiddled with the ice maker, jarring the motorized arm to try and get a better look at the water line.

"You're mad we didn't have sex. Is this why you're wrestling with my freezer at 6:30 in the morning?"

"You don't hear the constant whirring at night when the ice maker is trying to crank out cubes?" Your motor is about to burn out," he said with his back still to her. "Grrrreat, I knew something couldn't be right with how quick he did his inspection."

"No…I'm not mad." He said turning to face her. She cocked her head giving him a faint smile.

"I do want to make love to you. I just feel I'm not ready yet, you and me, I'm still getting used to that. Be patient with me?" Nick walked to her and placed his hands on her hips.

"I know and I will be." He leaned in and gave her a quick peck then rested his forehead against hers. He pulled back looking around. "This house…it's only twenty years old so it's a solid home but now on the other hand those post-world war one and pre-world war two homes, just be lucky you don't have the electrical systems and pipes they have. There so antiquated compared to the building codes today. A fire waiting to happen so you might want to ask Fin to have his brother in law Sam to come over and look at the ice maker, he used to be a plumber." "Well then why didn't I just have him fix my leak?"

"Because then I wouldn't be here." She smiled. "Good point. I'm going to go take a cold shower, you?" Nick laughed. "I'll pick up a thermometer after work."

"See you at the house." "Yep," he said pushing the fridge back into place. After a quick shower at his place and change of clothes he walked in greeting everyone. A young male about fifteen years old was escorted into the squad by a uni with blood smeared on his jacket and hands. He had his younger brother with him. All heads turned in the direction of the officer and the boys. Nick got up followed by Olivia.

"I'm Detective Amaro this is Detective Benson why don't you have a seat right here." Nick took the extra chair from Olivia and scooted it next to the one the older brother was sitting in. After taking the brother's statements Fin, Nick and Amanda left to question the mother and the crime scene. The younger brother complained he was hungry so Olivia fetched food for both boys. Nick, Fin and Amanda returned. The father's body was exactly where the older brother said but the mother was nowhere to be found. Olivia worked on finding a family relative. When they finally did find the boy's mother she swore she had no idea her husband was molesting the children but after being pressed on it she broke down saying she couldn't stop it. She was charged with neglect. Her eldest son accused of her being an alcoholic saying she wouldn't know because she was passed out every night. In closing the case after two days, the oldest boy was not charged and both boys received counseling.

It was Friday afternoon and Nick was rushing to get out of the office to catch his plane to Washington. It pained Olivia that she couldn't say good bye to him the way she wanted. Nick felt the same way. Next day Olivia hopped the train to Connecticut to meet with Hannah, her surrogate. Hannah was a 36 year old married mother of 3, a high school English teacher and a girl scout leader to her two daughters. They met up for lunch at a diner and had a short wait before they were seated. The waitress came by and took drink orders. This was the third time the ladies met. Hannah wanted Olivia involved as much as her job would allow with doctor appointments, etc. Olivia was none the less overjoyed to accompany Hannah to appointments and offered to drive all the time. Hannah told her when her protruding belly wasn't able to fit behind the wheel then by all means Olivia could drive. She had just entered her fourth month and Olivia had a hard time keeping her eyes off Hannah's baby bump and couldn't believe in six months she would finally be a mother. One thing Olivia was grateful for was now she had family support. She breathed a sigh of relief after her brother passed the background check even with his criminal past. His parole officer was instrumental in writing a very supportive letter on Simon's behalf and his willingness to show that he had made a life change and was committed to his family was helpful for his case.

"Well at my check up last week they still couldn't tell me the sex but I swear to you Olivia it's a girl. My belly looked like this with my oldest and I'm craving things I craved with her." "A healthy baby is all I want." The ladies smiled as the waitress brought their drinks and took their order.

"Any new cravings since last month?" Olivia asked. "No not really but I do want peanut butter more often like on bagels or toast which I nevvvver ate before." Olivia chuckled at her remark. "So Olivia have you thought about any names yet, I know it's early but I couldn't wait to think of names as soon as I found out I was pregnant."

"Yes I have, at night lying in bed I'll look at my list and I'll scratch off that name and add this one." They laughed inviting looks from the couple seated across from them.

"I'm so happy I could do this for you." "Me too." "Must have been so hard for you when the adoption agencies turned you down before." "Yes it was." She said with sadness. "Well you're going to be a great mother and this little girl or little boy is going to be the fourth most luckiest kid on the planet behind my three." They roared in laughter but this time even the waitresses whizzing by serving trays of food took notice.

"You know what? You and your family should come down for a cook out one weekend. How's that sound?"

"That would be wonderful I let the family know. Thank you Olivia, it's been a long time since I've been to the city." Olivia smiled across the table at her taking a sip of her water. Their food arrived and they enjoyed the rest of their time over grilled chicken caeser salads. Nick called her later that evening. Olivia laughed scolding herself for feeling like a school girl when she saw his name displayed across her phone's screen but none the less she was happy to hear from him.

"Hi." She said. "Hi how are you?" "Good-tired," Olivia told him. She stifled a yawn. "So how was your visit with Hannah?" "Great although they couldn't tell her the sex so I'm going with her next month for her 6th month. Nick she looks wonderful and the baby is doing fine and she's convinced it's a girl."

"Oh really? You woman and your superstitions." Olivia scoffed. "How's your visit going with Zara?" Nick looked down at his sleeping daughter on the couch. "She's fast asleep right here beside me." he said yawning. "You sound tired." "I am, I'm pretty much wiped but we went to the Mall and rode the carousel a few hundred times then did the discovery museum, came back here ordered room service and watched well I should say attempted to watch all of Hotel Transylvania on paper view but she didn't last to the end."

"Aw poor baby, busy day with her daddy." "Yeah. They're calling for showers tomorrow so I don't know if we'll get the Zoo in or not." "Well she's had a pretty fun weekend so far." Olivia said. An awkward silence happened.

"Miss you." Nick said. "I miss you too. What time do you get in tomorrow?" "Plane lands at 7:10." "I'll pick you up we can go catch a bite." "I like that." "Well I'll let you go, you enjoy the rest of your time with Zara and I'll see you tomorrow." "Thanks good night." She took off the blanket and got up from the couch and went into the nursery. She got her journal out from the top drawer and began to write. When she finished she got washed up for bed. Her nightly ritual began as she got comfy under the covers. Scarlett got a happy face as well as Josephine and Abagail…for now. For the boys she had Leo and Isaiah as the front runners.

She waited for Nick outside arrivals. The rain had moved into New York by now so she had the wipers set to interment. She circled the round-about at JFK before spotting him waving.

"Hey you." he said getting in and tossing his bag in the back. "Hi yourself." Nick leaned over attempting to kiss her but she pulled away. "What?" he looked puzzled at her avoidance. Olivia did an all around. "Liv I'm not being followed she won't be served until next week, relax." "Sorry I'm just nervous." She leaned in giving him a slow but quick kiss." "Now that's much better." He said smiling. Olivia smirked then checked her side mirror pulling out into traffic. They stopped at a local mom and pop place near her place.

"Man it don't get no better than this." Nick said taking a huge forkful of his stromboli. "Want a bite?" "Sure." He swirled the cheese around his fork passing it other. She placed her hand over his taking the forkful of the puffed turnover guiding it into her mouth. "You're right that is good." They ate their meals making small talk.

After showing him her list of baby names he told her he liked Scarlett the best for a girl and Leo for a boy. He joked with her that they could call them car car and lee lee for short." She looked at him giving him the stink eye. "I'm kidding Liv I'm kidding. "You better be she laughed. "Does that mean you're in it for the long haul?" Nick looked at her placing his two fingers under her chin. "Every diaper change, every late night feeding, and every illness so yes I'm in it for the long haul." Olivia smiled looking into his eyes. "I can't tell how nice it is having you here." She said kissing him. "It's nice being here with you." Olivia let down her guarded stance with Nick sinking lower under the covers kissing him.


	4. Chapter 4 Love conquers all

*a/n I erred in chapter 3 saying Olivia would be accompanying Hannah to her 6th month checkup but should have said 5th(sorry) Keep those reviews coming they inspire me. You all rock xoxo! The rating will soon change to M so bear with me ok :D ****AND a big shout out to my big sis Kimberely who helped me with this chapter.

Olivia was thrilled when she found out Hannah would be having a boy. Olivia had secretly hoped for a girl but was overwhelmed with joy knowing she was going to be a mother to a baby boy. After the appointment the ladies went shopping for baby clothes.

"Is this a bad omen to be doing this so early?" Olivia asked. "Of course not there is no such thing as a bad omen when you're celebrating a pregnancy." Hannah held up two 0 to 6 month outfits seeking Olivia's approval. Olivia went for the light blue onesie with the teddy bears over the green one with footballs. She couldn't wait to call Nick on her way home and tell him the news.

"Lucy I'm home." Nick shouted emulating Ricky Ricardo. "Coming honey." Olivia was busy slicing vegetables for the tossed salad later. Nick handed off two bags to Olivia while he took the other three and pushed the front door shut on his back foot. "My goodness Ricky you have enough food here to feed an Army." "Well honey we have an army coming and have you seen Fin eat lately? Brother can sure pack away some food." They laughed their way into the kitchen and unpacked the food. "Look at these steaks Liv, that's the best cut of a ribeye you can get." She seemed unimpressed. Olivia didn't get excited over cuts of meat so any cut looked good to her. "How much do I owe you?" "Nada," he told her. "Oh come on now I don't expect you to pay for all of this, I want to pay you." "How about a little down payment now?" He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips to hers. Olivia closed her eyes and kissed him back with good intentions. Soon she was pulling back gazing into his eyes. "You're not one to barter with are you Nicholas Amaro?" Mmm no I'm not," he chuckled pressing his lips back onto hers. They engaged in a mini make out session until Nick pulled away. "I better go get Zara I told my mom I'd be back in an hour. I'll clean the grill when I get back." He slid his arm around her hip giving her a quick kiss.

Nick returned with Zara and her back pack full of her favorite Disney movies. "Hi Zara it's nice to meet you I'm Olivia." "Hi Olivia want to see my movies I brought?" "Sure I'd love to." Zara emptied out her back pack on the couch showing Olivia all her favorite dvd's. Nick looked on like the proud father he was. "Her movies are like an American Express card." Zara turned and looked up at her dad. "Daddy you always say that." She turned her attention back on Olivia. "Do you like Alice in Wonderland Olivia?" "I do and do you know what?" I watched a lot of Disney movies growing up." "Which one is your favorite?" "Well there's so many good ones to choose from so I guess if I had to pick one then my favorite one would be Lady and the Tramp." "Lady and the Tramp I don't have that one do I daddy?" "Nope I don't think you do sweetheart." "What is it about Olivia?" Olivia shot Nick a smile. "Well it's about these two cute dogs who like one another very much but because they come from different neighborhoods it's hard for them to see one another but they fall in love and they become the best of friends." Zara smiled at Olivia relieving her favorite childhood movie. "Honey why don't we put a movie in because I'm gonna help Olivia get ready for the party ok." "Ok daddy."

All of her guests had arrived. It was the first time the squad had met Nick's daughter. It wasn't hard to fall in love with how adorable she was and chatty too. Olivia gave the grand tour. The rocking chair had been moved down to the basement so the nursery looked like an empty bedroom with only a stand up dresser and floor lamp. Her house warming party was just kicking into high gear when Captain Donald Cragen got the call on his phone.

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news everyone. We just caught a case." Captain Cragen looked at Zara then to Nick. "Catch up with us after you drop off your daughter." He looked at Olivia. "I'm sorry about your party." "It's fine Captain things happen." "Munch you ride with me. Fin you and Rollins head to St. Matthews." Nick gave Olivia a look as he helped Zara pack up her things. Nick's mother wasn't exactly all smiles when she had to cancel her card game.

"Sorry ma." "It's ok mio we'll pop some corn get in our jammies and watch Disney movies all night long." his mother said pulling her close to her side. "Right mi pequeña?" "Right." Zara said looking up at her abuela.

Nick joined up with the Olivia and Munch at the NYU campus and Olivia briefed him on the case. "17 year old girl was raped by some members of the rugby team but insists it didn't happen." Olivia's phone rang and she answered.

"When? Alright we're on the way. That was Amanda our victim was thrown down a flight of stairs she's in the emergency room with a broken arm claimed she fell down the stairs." Looks passed from Nick to Olivia to Munch. "I'll update the Captain." Munch said leaving them.

"Detectives over here." the nurse summoned them. "She's in the OR getting a pin for a badly broken arm." "Do you know how it happened?" Olivia asked. "I don't have the whole story but she claims she fell down the stairs." "Where?" Nick asked." "Couple blocks from home, good samaritan found her and called a bus. She's got a few fractured ribs, black eye and broken arm." Nick had doubts right away. "Her injures don't sound consistent with her story." He looked at Olivia then back to the nurse. "What else can you tell us?" Olivia said. "I think she's been raped more than once." Olivia looked hard at the nurse. "Why would you say that?" Olivia pressed the nurse. "She complained of abdominal pain so the doctor was obliged to do a vaginal exam. She's got pelvic inflammatory disease caused by gonorrhea." "Did you do an std screen with the rape kit?" Nick charged. "Yes detective!" Nick sighed. Cases like these hit hard with him. Olivia motioned with her head for Nick to move away with her. "The parents are in the waiting room." The nurse said. After talking to the parents Olivia and Nick were not on the same page. Olivia walked ahead of him as they exited the hospital.

"Are you serious Liv? "Yeah Nick I want to be sure to rule the parents out." "You think they tossed their daughter down a flight of steps?" "Father seemed pretty upset about their daughter having sex." Nick caught up to her touching her arm trying to slow her down. "She didn't she was raped." Olivia stopped and turned facing him. "And what if she fabricated the rape to cover up sexual activity? We've had lots of cases like that!" "Liv you saw that girl she was afraid of something!" "Maybe it was dad." She said walking away from him. "Oh you think he raped her?" "We've seen it too many times before Nick." Nick looked doubtful at his partner over the roof of the cruiser before opening his door and getting in. Olivia made eye contact staying with her gut feeling. They headed over to the dorms to meet Fin and Amanda.

""What's up with him?" Olivia asked looking at Fin. "He wishes he could choke one of the players and charge him with bigotry." "We need to take a closer look at the coach." Fin said. Getting back to the house they briefed Captain Cragen. Nick walked up behind Olivia as she was departing for the evening.

"Hey not so fast you gotta give me room to disagree with you if I don't think it's a viable lead." "Nick I've been doing this a lot longer than you and I when I smell a cover up I go with it." "You heard Fin we need to take a closer look at the coach." "And we will but I'm not giving up on my gut feeling…good night." "Night." He watched her walk out feeling they got nowhere. It took four days to close the case and as it turned out the coach of the rugby team had raped her along with two of his star players but the gonorrhea their victim caught stemmed from the father raping his daughter. That evening while lying in bed Olivia wondered if this was really going to work out with Nick. The constant being on guard so they weren't detected by others made her feel uneasy most of the time. When they were away from work where they could let their guard down usually ending up in her bed made her feel comfortable, relaxed and wanted. _Why is it warned never to have an office romance she thought?_ She got up and went into the nursery and began to journal. Nick sensed Olivia was off the next few days at work. He caught up to her at the coffee station. "Have dinner with me tonight?" Olivia gave a quick sweep around the room. "I don't know Nick." "We need to talk and we can't do it here. Please Olivia." "Fine just let me know where to meet you and what time."

"If I knew you asked me to come out this far I would have told you no." she said jokingly coming towards him with the maitre'd on her heels. Nick stood up as Olivia was shown to the table. He came to her side of the table and pulled out her chair. It was a cozy table for two. The ambience was definitely romantic. Another waiter brought over the house specials. Olivia chose the cabernet. Nick ordered a domestic beer. "Thanks for coming. Are you giving up on us?" She looked across the table at him. "Nick I…" He looked down, his face was deflated. "Olivia just please give me a chance to change your mind, at least afford me that opportunity ok." When she lifted her eyes to meet his they were glassy.

"I know this is not your style to enter into a relationship with someone who's married but I'm not married Liv. Yes on paper I am but I've been separated for over a year now and I've tried to save it and you know I have. We're not going to see eye to eye on every case that's what makes us-us." "Nick I'm not used to walking on egg shells or having to look over my shoulder being worried about my job or repercussions of the other one involved. This isn't fair to either one of us."

"Just wait you said you would hear me out. The therapist my sister and I saw after my father left told my mom that I would probably model the abusive behavior after him. My mom told me that men who bet up on women only prove their insecurities not their strength. She said I had to be my sister's protector now. I never wanted to be a woman's protector as in their body guard but more the protector of their love." "I need some time. I want to be sure I'm doing the right thing. "I'm falling in love with you." "I'm sorry I know you disa-" Olivia's eyes grew wide hearing what she thought she just heard.

"You heard me right; I'm falling in love with you Liv. I'm going to put in for a transfer so you don't need to walk on egg shells or look over your shoulder or worry about me." Olivia was speechless. "Nick…first of all Cragen won't let you transfer you're too good to let go. I've tried it and Fin's tried it. He'll stall until you get tired of asking him about it. Second I won't allow that to happen. Wow you sure know how to make me feel this small." "Not my intention." He slid his hand across the table and caressed hers. He was glad she didn't pull back.

Nick gave her the space she requested. He didn't come by after work, didn't call at night or on the weekends when he was with his daughter. Everything he used to do made Olivia miss him. Work was even going well, something she thought would backfire. That evening after her shower she stepped reaching for her moisturizer and accidently knocked over his cologne he had left. She took the top off the bottle. It was definitely his smell alright. One weekend she decided to paint the nursery. She watched a few on line tutorials and was proud of the half-finished job. Nick was surprised when his phone alerted him that he had a text from Olivia.

_You alone? _

_Yes why what's up? _

_Painting the nursery this weekend do you think if I put moons and stars on the ceiling Leo will wake up and think he's been kidnapped by a band of gypsies?_

_That's funny Liv haha your call_.

_You're no help_. Next night she was right back at it. Olivia was standing back admiring the neat job she had done that day. The next day at work he asked her what color she chose. "A two tone tone blue with a really cute border." "Nice." he said. "How was your weekend with Zara?" "Fun, she wore me out as usual." She smiled listening to him replay his weekend. She missed hearing him tell her about Zara and what they did. Olivia was just about to call it a night since tomorrow was work. She needed a shower badly. Remnants of paint were evidence on her clothes, hands and face. Her doorbell ringing startled her.

"Thought I'd come by see this gypsy camp you were creating." She smiled at him as he entered. He joked that she had all the paint on her. "Wow I'm impressed its looks like a professional's job." "Thank you." They stood admiring her work. "Oops forgot to remove the tape." Olivia removed the tape and was just about to climb the ladder to touch up the area where the tape stuck when Nick came up from behind her. He took the brush out of her hands and put it the tray then turned round her slowly. He looked at the bandana that surrounded her head then slowly removed it letting he hair spill out. He touched the paint smear that was on her chin. They held their gaze. I can't stand be away from you any longer." he said. "Me either." His lips crashed onto hers. Olivia threw her arms around his neck pulling him closer. Soon they were pawing at each other's clothes. They sank onto the tarp that covered the floor, their mouths intertwined. He was hungry for her as she was him.

Nick's lips circled her nipple without actually touching it. His tongue traced the curve of her breast, his fingers squeezed her buttocks then grazed her crotch. Olivia trembled in anticipation. He lifted her leg until it straddles his. Nick kissed a path down her body; he held her breasts like they were precious. He drew one of her nipples into his mouth. He suckled tenderly. His mouth was warm, familiar to her, she missed this she missed him. Olivia playfully bit him and began pushing on his shoulders, urging him to keep moving. She sighed when his tongue circled her navel. She shivered when he sucked the surrounding skin into his mouth and bit delicately. Again, without being asked, she opened her legs in a not-so-subtle invitation. Nick ran a single finger over her slit, paused when he touched her clit and pressed his finger into her. She gasped when he grabbed her hips, rolled her with a strength that startled her then entered her. Off to a slow start Nick pumped his length into Olivia harder and faster. The relief was sweet afterwards as they rolled together on the stained tarp kissing.


	5. Chapter 5 Maria's out for blood

I looked at the story stats and couldn't believe my eyes when I saw how many viewers have viewed my fic. You all kick ass! You're the best of the best Thank you! One request was that I go to the standard form of paragraphing and not line by line of character speech. Your wish is my command

Nick took a day off to travel to Washington for a deposition hearing at the office of Maria's lawyer. They sat across the oval 18x6 foot cherry wood table from one another with each of their lawyers by their side. They waited for Maria to return to the office from excusing herself to use the ladies room. When she returned she looked a bit pale and exhausted. Nick took notice how much thinner she was becoming. She replied yes when asked if she was ok. Neither Nick nor Maria would make eye contact with each other. Nick looked disgusted and was tense even when his own lawyer asked him softball questions. He must have reached for his glass of water ten times refilling it twice. Maria on the other hand shifted in the leather swivel chair nervously coughing uncontrollably at times. Her lawyer bore her teeth when going after Nick and the long hours he kept at work essentially neglecting his family emotionally and physically.

"She knew the hours and the job demands when she married me! What am I supposed to do not answer my phone in the middle of the night when I get a call to go to a crime scene?"

"There are four other detectives in your unit that are not married am I correct to assume that Mr. Amaro?" her lawyer asked. Nick hesitated and then felt a nudge from his lawyer.

"Yes."

"So any of the four could handle late night calls, am I correct again in assuming that?" Nick folded his hands and was slightly bent over the table answering her.

"My partner and I are the lead team on cases, so we get the call first depending on the nature of the crime then all four or five of us work it."

"Did you consider discussing at any time in your marriage to your supervisor that you would like to be put on a rotation schedule two times out of the month including weekends so that you could be home more often with your wife and new baby at the time when you were with the narcotics and warrants division?" Her lawyer could tell she was starting to agitate Nick.

"No I didn't the NYPD doesn't operate like that! Crimes don't stop because humps think the police are over worked, it's just the opposite!" The lawyer adjusted her glasses sliding them down her nose to almost the end, scribbling on her legal pad.

"So would you say the NYPD would be negligent or inflexible to accommodate their employees?"

"That is not what I said you're twisting my words!" Nick's lawyer put his hand over Nick's arm giving his client light tapping to calm him down.

"Ms. Gumkowski what my client is trying to convey to you is that the New York City Police Department doesn't operate on a first come first serve. Detectives are awarded grades of levels and first responders from the SVU are dictated by squad captains and since Nick's squad has one first grade detective and two second grade detectives and one third grade along with and one sergeant who recently was promoted. Nick is assigned to partner with the first grade detective and they are responsible to answer all calls first."

"Mr. Romero do not lecture me on how the NYPD operates. We all know places of employment make exceptions to accommodate to their employees. What I'm showing is a pattern of Mr. Amaro's willingness to work consecutive 12 + hour days thus leaving his young child in the custody for lengthy amounts of time with her grandmother while her mother was deployed in Afghanistan and not once asked for time off."

"Lady you don't know jack about me or my family!" Nick had pushed his chair back and was standing pointing at the lawyer then at Maria. "And whatever that bitch told you is a lie! She'll say anything to gain custody of my daughter."

"Mr. Romero please control your client." Maria's lawyer commanded. Nick shifted his gaze onto his wife.

"Nick sit down!" his lawyer barked at him with his hand on Nick's back.

"And I'll tell you something Maria, it will be a cold day in hell before you get full custody of Zara!" Nick walked out in a huff. Nick's lawyer sighed shaking his head watching his client storm off while her lawyer took down pertinent notes.

"I warned you about him and his temper." Maria injected. Her lawyer leaned in and whispered to her. Maria nodded her approval.

He was ever so glad to get off the plane and onto a bar stool. Trying to forget the kind of day he had started with two cocktails on his flight back to Manhattan. After downing two shots of Jim Beam, Nick motioned the bartender for another. His beer still remained untouched. He checked his phone; he had 7 new messages, three from Olivia.

"Hey Nick this is the last one buddy." The bartender placed the 1 and ½ ounces of the brown liquid in front of him.

"Come on Mike you and me…we go way back…your pop used to sneak us into the Yankees games member?"

"Yeah I do but hey Nicky it don't look so good a cop in my bar getting sloshed. Let me call ya a cab."

"Nah man I got my cruiser I'm fine."

"Can't do it man." Mike called over to the precinct that put him in touch with Sergeant Munch who was the only back at the house while Olivia, Fin and Amanda worked a case. Nick worked on his beer while the bartender kept an eye on him. Munch showed up and took up a seat next to Nick.

"Rough day at the lawyer's office?" Nick's began to slur his words.

"You could say that." Nick told him raising his beer and taking a drink. "How about I give you a lift home?"

"Why is everybody being so nice to me today? My buddy Mike here has offered to call me a cab and now Sergeant Munch is here, is it be kind to Nick Amaro day? Well someone should have told that bitch who tried to rake me over the coals." Munch was able to coax Nick from his seat and drop him off at his home. Back at the house the detectives returned. They briefed the Captain and Sergeant Munch.

"Hey Liv you got a minute?" She was on her way out when she heard the question.

"Yeah what's up?" Munch taped her shoulder pulling her aside. "Your partner's in bad shape and I didn't want to say anything in front of Cragen. Apparently it didn't go well today for him."

"Is he at home?" Her eyebrows lowered and the lines on her forehead were very prominent.

"Yeah I dropped him off about an hour ago."

"Thanks Munch I'll stop by on my way home."

"You might want to encourage him to stay home tomorrow to sleep off his hangover too."

"It was a bad day." She said staring off. She rang the doorbell but there was no answer right away. Olivia was afraid he was passed out by now. She rang it a few more times and then he answered; his tie had been removed, his dress shirt was unbuttoned all the way his and his undershirt had vomit stains and a towel was wrapped around his neck

"I called you three times why didn't you pick up?" He sighed loudly. "Sorry I just wanted to be alone."

"It didn't go well by the look on your shirt."

"Come in." he told her. She stepped across the threshold.

"No it didn't Maria's lawyer is a class A bi-"

"It's ok you can say it because divorce lawyers are out for blood and almost always infuriate the soon to be ex."

"Bitch!"

"Feel better?" He filled a glass with water then popped ibuprofen. "No not really my head is killing me. I didn't eat all day and I haven't puked in years."

"I'd say you probably drank more than you weigh." He didn't find that funny.

"Pack a bag I'll me bring you back to my place." Nick scratched his head.

"I'm just going to sleep here, stay?" Olivia gave him a dumbfounded look.

"No Nick I don't think so." It finally dawned on him. "Maria…got it sorry."

"Take another day get your head clear."

"No I need to work."

"Want to talk about it." His hands clenched the countertop as he stared at the granite. Olivia walked into the kitchen taking him in her arms. She felt the squeeze as he locked his arms tight around her, burying his head into the crook of her neck. "It's ok I'm here now." Olivia whispered.

"I can't let her have full custody of Zara I'll fight her tooth and nail. I'm not a bad father I didn't neglect my family on purpose."

"Of course you didn't." Nick pulled back; his eyes were full of emotion. He rubbed the corners of his eyes. She could still smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Sorry I didn't mean to get all emotional."

"You men, you'll never learn will you?" He chewed the corner of his lip looking at her. She placed her hand on his chest patting it.

"Get some rest ok." He nodded touching her hand. Olivia turned and walked out of his kitchen. Her hand was on the door knob.

"I love you." She looked down then turned around with a smile on her face.

"I love you too…good night." Nick showed up late to work the next day jumping right in on the case the squad was currently involved in. The quartet was able to get a lunch break in while out.

"Man my advice to anyone getting married today…don't." Amanda jabbed her partner in the ribs.

"Hey marriage may not be for everyone but for some it's pretty good so don't be such a downer." Fin was leaned up with his back to the wall in the booth. Olivia looked around the table. Nick kept busy with his pastrami melt listening to their conversation. Fin looked to his partner.

"You got a secret you're hiding from us?" Amanda scowled at Fin.

"Me? No but I'm not ruling out ever getting married." Olivia offered her palm to Amanda who high fived her. Nick finally chimed in.

"Yeah well then you'll have to worry about being followed and feel like your gut is on fire when your ex-spouse to be threatens to take your child away. Yeah marriage is all a bed of roses and then some!" The three looked at one another.

"Well alright let's change the subject." Olivia said. She nudged Nick telling him she needed to use the ladies room. Amanda followed her.

"Have you given up on getting married?" Amanda asked. Olivia examined her panties as she prepared to stand. She flushed then joined Amanda at the sink.

"No but I don't have a prospect yet." Amanda shook the water from her hands reaching for the paper towel dispenser.

"I think it's warm in here, are you warm?" Olivia patted her face with the cool water.

"No I'm fine." she said as she cranked out a long sheet of paper towel ripping it in half giving half to Olivia.

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxox oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxo_

She and Nick snuggled up watching tv. "I tried to warn you that she may hire a P.I."

"Don't worry about it I'll take care of it."

"Don't worry about it. If it's true I'm involved Nick. You're sneaking out of your house, throwing pebbles at my bedroom window to get my attention and we only text work related now. This sneaking around is not my style. Let's just cool it until her P.I. tells her he's got nothing on you."

"Liv the baby is coming in 5 months and I want to be with you at the birth, I don't need any more separation from you."

"I know neither do I but we have to be careful because she will use this against you to take Zara."

"And my boys will catch her and she'll never see Zara again!" Olivia reached for the control and shut off the tv.

"Please Olivia I don't want to fight I just want go to bed I'm tired."


	6. Chapter 6 Sweet & Sour

*Sorry this is such a short chapter I had two job interviews today and one tomorrow and didn't want to leave my best fans hanging for a few days

Nick bounded down his front steps to the cruiser parked in front. His hand was on the handle and he opened the door he turned and walked over to the car parked across the street. Nick rapped hard on the driver's side window.

"Get out of the car now!" The gentleman refused starting the car and pulling off making Nick take a leap back onto the curb. He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket.

"Hello." She sounded sleepy which surprised him she would be home at 7:30 in the morning and not at work.

"Why aren't you at work, where's Zara?"

"I don't feel well I called in sick, she's sleeping and it's none of your god damn business!"

"She needs to go to school it's a school day!"

"She will my mom is coming over to take her. I'm not one of your suspects so stop interrogating me Nick!" Maria lapsed into a coughing spell.

"Call off your watch dog! You're not going to find anything to use against me but you better start talking fast on who this Mark guy is?"

"Nick what in the hell are you talking about?"

"I know for a fact you've been out with a guy named Mark on more than one occasion and you know what Maria I don't give a damn. See anybody you want to if it makes you happy. Do you see me wasting my money on tailing you? No you don't!"

"You know what Nick it's too early in the morning to have this conversation with you you're delusional. I didn't hire anyone to tail you and for your information Mark is one of my supervisors who I have daily briefings with and yes sometimes it entails having dinner."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xo

For a summer Sunday morning in mid-July one couldn't ask for a more gorgeous start to the day. There was no humidity whatsoever just a delightful cool morning. The wind chimes twinkled in the breeze and the birds chirped. Oldies but goodies were playing on the stereo. Olivia picked up the moldy bag of bagels looking at Nick. "Guess English muffins are in order." she said.

She returned to cutting up the cantaloupe and turned her cheek to meet his lips when he came up behind sliding his arms around her. Nick patted her bottom lightly giving her a wink as she moved over to the fry pan turning the bacon.

"So well off mommy and daddy who by the way objected to you marrying their daughter in the first place paid for the private investigator?"

"Yup sure did." He picked a handful of grapes from the bowl tossing one into the air catching it in his mouth. Olivia shook her head in disbelief.

"Well I'm glad the sneaking around is over. It really made me nervous."

"We're free and clear baby." Olivia placed the bacon on a plate with paper towels and blotted the strips dry.

"Smells great." He said taking the bowl of fruit following her out to the patio. Halfway through breakfast he noticed she hadn't touched much of hers. He lowered the paper peering over at her without her noticing. She was totally engrossed in solving her puzzle.

"You ok?" She penciled in an answer not looking at him.

"Yeah why?"

"You hardly touched your breakfast."

"I'm into this," she said tapping her pencil on the paper. "It's a hard one." Nick wasn't sure whether to believe her or not.

"When do you plan on telling Cragen and the others?"

"Soon."

"How soon is soon?"

"Nick please don't press me ok." He gave her a flippant non manual signal. She put down the pencil and looked him in the eye.

"Does it bother you or are you just worried who your new temp is going to be?"

"No why would you say that?"

"Because you keep asking when I'm going to do it."

"Fine I'll say no more." Olivia went back to her crossword and Nick to his sports page.

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox_

Nick just returned from interviewing their witness. Olivia left over two hours ago, leaving him alone to do the interview. "Where's Liv?"

"Ah I think I heard her say she had some personal business to take care of." Amanda told him.

"Hmph." he said sitting down going over the witness's testimony. Amanda summoned Nick and Fin to her desk. She found something overly contradictive with their main witness's story.

"Well its back to square one now." Fin said.

That evening Nick arrived at Olivia's after he finished the gym. He didn't like that the house was all dark so he moved his coat over placing a hand on his gun. He noticed she hadn't picked up the today's mail. He put his key in the door and opened it slowly calling out her name.

"Liv you home?" There was no answer. He flipped the foyer light on setting the mail and his keys down on the small table. He walked into the living room noticing a figure on the couch. He turned on the lamp and found Olivia sitting in the dark.

"Liv what's going on why are you sitting in the dark?" He leaned down and kissed her lips.

"I was just so tired when I got home I just sat here and then the next thing I knew I fell asleep."

"You ok?" She bit down on her lip

"Yeah."

"You eat yet?"

"I had cereal I'm not really hungry." Nick mumbled under his breath.

"_Cereal, ok. Not hungry again_."

Two nights later Olivia was sitting in the dark again when he got home.

"Ok liv this is the second night I find you siting alone in the dark and I want to know why?" Olivia clutched a pillow to her chest. She motioned for him to sit.

"You're pregnant aren't you?" Olivia was surprised with his abruptness. In the year and half she's worked side by side with him, she's known his keen sense and that he's possessed incredible talent for detection. Elliot was good but Nick was better. She sucked in a mouthful of air failing to conceal her fit of nerves.

"Yes." His silence at first made her heart sink. "This is really going to mess things up with your divorce. Look Nick I can raise this baby myself. This was my plan before we got involved. He swallowed hard. Standing up he took a few steps forward then turned completely around to face her.

"No it's not going to mess anything up." He started to expel some laughter. "I'm gonna be a father." Olivia sort of breathed a sigh of relief and was smiling with him now. He knelt in front of her taking her hands in his kissing them. Now his eyes were watery as he spoke and his voice heavy with emotion.

"Olivia I love you and when my divorce is final I want us to get married so…will you…Olivia…marry me?" She didn't know what to say. Her mouth was slightly ajar and water formed in her eyes. She let go of his hands wiping at the tear that threatened to spill. She looked at him directly.

"Nick let's take this one day at a time ok." He didn't say anything he just continued to gaze at her. She cupped his face pressing her lips to his. Overcome with emotion they both fell into a hug.

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo _

He picked up Zara from the train station. When she noticed him she took off running eliciting a scoldingng from her grandmother.

"Zara don't run you'll fall and hurt yourself." Zara slowed.

"Daddy!" she said jumping into his arms.

"Hey piquita how are you? I missed you." Nick kissed her cheek nose and forehead.

"I missed you too daddy." Nick was unable to have her last weekend due to a big case svu was working. Her grandmother handed over Zara's bag.

"We leave at 3:30 on Sunday so please bring her early." When it came to Nick his mother in law held no snide comments in check.

"Yeah sure no problem Nick said cynically. "You ready sweetheart?"

"Yes." Zara's grandparents gave her a hug and kiss good bye.

"Bye bye mi bella mia."

"Bye bye Nonna and nonno." They blew kises to Zara who blew them back.

"Oh and I'm very happy it was your money you wasted and not mine. Have a good weekend." Nick lowered his shades and walked away with his daughter in his arms.

"Tsk." His mother in law scowled as her husband led her away by the elbow. Nick sat on the commode rolling back through his messages as Zara took a bath.

"You almost done honey?"

"I need help rinsing my hair." He pulled back the curtain and took the shower head nozzle from her. He tilted her head back telling her to cover her eyes with the wash cloth as the water ran down the back of her head. After her bath he tucked her in reading her a story.

"The little pony is sick just like mommy."

"Well mommy needs to go to the doctor to get medicine so she can feel better."

"Mommy did go to the doctor but her medicine didn't make her all better. Daddy what's a cancer doctor?" Nick nearly dropped the book he was holding listening to her words. He looked down at his daughter.

"It's a doctor that looks at all of your body, your heart, your lungs, your tummy, everything." He smoothed her forehead and her hair. He stared at the floor.

"Daddy you have to finish the book."


	7. Chapter 7 Comfort over pain

***THANKS everyone for the well wishes. I think I got the job at Costco b/c the manager told me to call her back tomorrow…fingers crossed. *Update…I got the job woot woot!**

She was sleeping soundly when her phone jarred her awake. She almost knocked it off the night stand reaching.

"Benson." She answered groggily.

"Oh sorry Liv I thought maybe you'd still be up."

"Nick? What time is it?" Olivia rubbed her eyes looking at her alarm clock. She asked not 100% coherent yet.

"It's almost midnight. I'm sorry to have awakened you go back to sleep."

"What's wrong? Is everything ok?" There was a long pause.

"Nick are you still there?"

"Maria has cancer."

"What? Cancer? Oh no. When did you find out?" Olivia sat up.

"Zara asked me what a cancer doctor is."

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"Not yet, I tried to call her before calling you but she didn't answer." Nick lay on top of the covers still dressed from his day out with Zara. His fingers twisted the volume button on the clock radio but it was not on. She zeroed in right away how distant he sounded.

"I'm so sorry Nick for Zara too I hope they caught it in time."

"Me too. How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing ok."

"You really need to talk with the Captain Liv and soon."

"I know and I will next week as soon as he gets back." Each waited for the other to speak up.

"We're not much of small talk are we?" Olivia said.

"No I guess not." Nick looked at his watch. "It's late so I'll let you go."

"Ok…I'll see you tomorrow."

"Uh yeah about that, I'm going to take Zara home and then see Maria."

"Sure right…yeah you need to see her." Another long pause.

"Good night Liv." Olivia lowered her head closing her eyes pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Good night Nick." Her words seemed drawn out as did his.

"I love you." he said.

"I love you too."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Nick and Zara arrived at Union Station and caught a cab to Maria's apartment. His father in law answered the door.

"Bella." He said picking her up and giving her a kiss on each cheek. He eyed Nick as he let down his granddaughter.

"Nicholas." Nick nodded coming into the apartment. "Maria is asleep perhaps you can come back later."

"No that's ok I'll wait." The elder lifted up his hand up as to say your call and walked off. Nick took a seat in the living room.

"Daddy come see my room."

"I'd love to honey lead the way." Nick could see somewhat into Maria's room as her bedroom door was not shut all the way. She lay curled up under the covers and he could see bottles of pills that lay beside her nightstand with water and juice. Zara invited her dad to have tea with her and her Barbie's at the play table in her room. "Sure honey but I think the chairs are too small for me to sit in so how about we have a tea party Japanese style.

"What's Japanese style?"

"It's where you sit on the floor instead of sitting in chairs see I'll show you." Nick demonstrated and Zara poured all the guests at the table a cup of tea. I guess the laughter and fun Nick and Zara were having woke up Maria because she peered into her daughter's room.

"Mommy me and daddy are having a tea party." Maria looked surprised to see Nick there.

"What are you doing her Nick?" Nick stood coming close to her. Maria's mother walked up behind her.

"I hope they didn't wake you up darling."

"I told your parents to let you know that I was bringing Zara home today. I can see how well you received that message." Nick told his wife.

"You heard." Maria said. Nick leaned close in tilting his head.

"Yeah." He looked back at Zara who was busy sipping her tea having casual conversation with the dolls.

"Zara sweetheart can you go with abuelita so I can talk with mommy?"

"Maria really needs to rest." Nick gave his mother in law a cold stare.

"That's her call not yours."

"Stop it both of you. Mom it's ok." Zara went with her grandmother. Maria watched as they walked out of sight then she turned to her husband. "Nick you really shouldn't have come." He noticed how pale she was and there were dark circles under her eyes and her face looked much thinner since the last time he saw her at the deposition hearing.

"Thanks."

"No I'm serious me having cancer doesn't change anything between us."

"Maria you may think I'm the world's worst but I'm not a cold bastard that would just not give a damn." She crossed her arms standing there.

"I have ovarian cancer and I start chemo and radiation Thursday."

"What stage, what's the prognosis?"

"Three and they're treating it aggressively."

"Zara told me that she overheard your parents talking about cancer but they glossed over it when she asked so how much does Zara know?"

"She knows that I'm sick but I haven't told her until I need to." Nick was always the parent that wanted to be the candid and truthful one with Zara as she grew up but Maria was just the opposite. She wanted to shield their daughter until there was a point of discussing things with her. Children are too impressionable and don't often reason well was her argument. Nick's defense was Zara was resilient like most other 6 year olds.

"We need to tell her."

"We?" She pointed to both of them. "No we don't need to do anything. I will tell her."

"Maria."

"Nick thanks for bringing Zara home but were done here ok." Nick was flabbergasted and walked out.

"Zara sweetheart daddy's going to go now."

"Back to our house in New York?"

"Yes piquita." Zara was always sad when it was time to say good bye to her father. Nick picked her up and realized how heavy she was suddenly becoming and taller.

"I won't see you next week but I'll see you in two weeks ok."

"I wish you could come to mommy's birthday party."

"Save me a piece of cake when I see you next, chocolate ok."

"Ok daddy I will." Nick kissed his daughter good bye and left. He had to wait around a few hours for the last evening train to Penn Station.

As Nick was boarding his train Olivia sat on the edge of her bed feeling her stomach. Somehow the pictures all lined up on her mirror caught her eye. They were 7 total. Baby Leo's sonograms from month 1 to month 6 and Olivia and Nick's baby at 4 ½ weeks. She got up and took the oldest one of Leo and baby Benson-Amaro and held them up side by side.

"You're going to love your daddy when you meet him because I do." She clutched the pictures to her chest breaking into sobs.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Nick pulled up the same time as Olivia. "Morning." he said clicking the key fob locking the doors on the cruiser.

"Good morning. What time did you get in last night?"

"About 1." Olivia gave his arm a light rub as they walked in together. She covered her mouth with her hand darting into the bathroom. His eyes grew wide with concern. She shooed him on just before going out of sight. He waited outside the ladies room for her. He came to her when she exited wiping her mouth.

"Is it getting worse?"

"Some days are worse than others. She scrounged through her purse before he pulled out a stick of gum offering it to her.

"Thanks, go now." He looked somberly at her before turning away.

"Detective Amaro don't sit down just yet." Sergeant Munch swept his arm in the direction of the interrogation room. "Your witness awaits." Nick looked around the room at Fin and Rollins.

"My witness? It was Fin and Rollins collar. He hung his suit coat on the back of his chair.

"Only for the fact she'd only speak to you." Nick stood with his fingers hooked into his belt. He took one last look at the other detectives then grabbed his drink. Olivia walked in as Nick shut the door behind him.

"Man what's eating him?" Fin asked surveying the room.

"Having been married to 4 Italian women I plead the 5th." Munch said. Amanda rolled her eyes and Fin made a face. Olivia hurriedly put down her things and turned on her computer doing her best not to be asked the nature of Nick's mood this Monday morning. She raised her chin in the direction of the interrogation room.

"What's up?"

"Our psycho mother is ready to cut a deal and her last dying wish is to speak only with Nick." Olivia and Munch watched as the woman openly flirted with Nick so much as to peel back her thigh high panty hose to show him a birth mark. The female perps tended to migrate to Nick because of his good looks and the knack for luring them in with his charm. When Nick finally dropped the bombshell the woman became agitated and threatened him coming dangerously close. Olivia not liking what she saw made her move towards the room. Munch stilled her placing his arm on hers. Several moments later Nick came out.

"She's requesting a private room at Sing Sing?" Nick snickered at Munch.

"I told her they're remodeling, it's all inclusive now." Munch put his hand on Nick's shoulder.

"Good work Nick." Olivia showed him a small smile as the three walked back into the squad room.

Fin was just hanging up the phone when the three returned.

"That was Warner she's got the autopsy results."

"My turn to drive." Amanda said smiling at Fin.

"Nick got a minute?" the sergeant asked. Nick looked to Olivia who met his gaze.

"Yeah."

"Let's step into my temporary digs." Nick followed him in with Olivia watching closely.

"You ok Nick despite your current situation?" Nick reclined back with his hands folded in front.

"Whatever you want to say stays in here." The two gentleman locked eyes.

"Maria has cancer." Munch sighed and his face all of sudden became long.

"I'm sorry. How bad is it?"

"Stage three ovarian cancer. She starts chemo and radiation this week."

"If you need the time you certainly have it so take it."

"Thanks I will." Nick sprung forward getting up from his chair."

"We're all behind you Nick just so you know."

"I do thanks." Munch watched as Nick walked back to his desk talking to his partner.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Before getting to her place he stopped at his local parish. When he walked through her front door she was happy to see him.

"There you are I was beginning to wonder." Olivia leaned in to kiss him. His kiss wasn't the usual one she got from him.

"I stopped at St. Stevens to pray." She managed a small smile nodding, touching his forearm. They ordered take out and ate outside on her patio. He wasn't much conversation throughout dinner.

"It is nice out here once that hot sun goes down." He took the last swallow nodding in agreement.

"I'll get you another one." Olivia told him starting to rise. He motioned for her to sit and he started to clear the table.

"No you sit and relax." He called out to her from the kitchen asking if she had any more rocky road ice cream. Olivia told him if it wasn't in the freezer than no.

"I'll pick up some more on my way home tomorrow." She said. Nick stood there with the freezer door open staring into the frosty cold. He came to returning to the patio.

"Her parents won't call to let you know how her treatment goes on Thursday so will you call her doctor?"

"Yeah probably." She tapped her fingers on the side of her glass of water. She looked at him, watched him. He cradled his beer in his lap.

"I'm sorry Nick I won't talk about Maria's condition. This is hard enough on you." His eyes shifted to hers.

"It's ok." A long silence fell over them. "Liv, I uh…"

"What is it?"

"I need to put my divorce on hold until-you know…Maria is out of the woods and in remission then after that we can go ahead with our plans."

"Of course." He stood up expelling a long breath looking out into the back yard. She followed him into the house.

Later as they prepared for bed he stared at her sitting at her dressing table brushing her hair. He came up behind her lifting the brush from her hands. She leaned her head back letting him run big broad strokes. She watched him in the mirror.

They gazed at one another.

He placed the brush on the table running his hands through her hair then slowly brought her to her feet turning to face him. He placed his hands on her belly as she watched him.

"Life begins and life ends." She furrowed her brows at him. Her eyes began to water.

"Nick please don't say that we don't know what's going to happen. We just have to keep the faith. It's in God's hands now." His eyes were glassy listening to her words. He lowered his head onto her shoulder. Olivia massaged his head running her fingers through his hair. She felt him tremble in her arms, his breath was hot against her skin.

"She just has to live; she just has to make it." His words came with sobs as Olivia tightened her hold on him.

"She will Nick she will." He lifted up his head; tears were trickling from his eyes. Olivia wiped them away with her finger feeling his gaze seep into her soul. Nick slowly moved his face closer to hers until his lips pressed against hers. His hands went around her waist pulling her to his chest. She hummed against his mouth as his tongue penetrated against the moist and soft recess of her mouth and his hands worked their way up her body to her head. Nick pulled back taking all her beauty in. Olivia tilted her head back exposing her neck and chest to him. His hands softly caressed her supple skin, dragging them slowly to her cleavage, kissing her neck and chest gingerly. Nick brought upright latching his mouth onto hers. Olivia lifted up her arms allowing him to remove her nightgown. He led her to the bed falling on top of her with care. Olivia felt the warmth of his breath on her nipples. He massaged each nipple with his tongue biting down gently. Olivia arched her back in pleasure, digging her fingers into the back of his muscular shoulders. She quivered as Nick's mouth trailed south down to her moistness. Her legs parted naturally, his fingers gently probing her core and soon his mouth replaced where his fingers were, tasting her for the first time. Olivia shuddered as she reached her point of climax. She raised her hips to allow his hardness to satisfy her. Nick entered her gently careful not to thrust too hard. She wrapped her legs around him. When it was all over, both having reaching their peaks, Nick laid his head on the soft recess of her stomach singing.

"Hush little baby don't say a word papa's going to buy you a mocking bird and if that mocking bird won't sing poppa's going to buy you a diamond ring…" Olivia stroked his hair as they soon fell into a deep sleep.


	8. Chapter 8 Disappointments

Captain Don Cragen had returned from his 5 day seminar. After the morning's meeting of the minds the team took to their seats finishing up paper work and reviewing leads on cold cases. It was the first time in a very long time that no sex crimes were reported in the Manhattan area in the past 48 hours.

"You two, aren't you late for court?"

"Leaving right now Captain." As they walked out Nick gave her his subtle reminder.

"As soon as we finish in court I'm going to talk to him." He smiled and she rolled her eyes trying to conceal her smile. The sooner Olivia was done running down perps and jacking up felons against walls the happier Nick would be. He told her often how nervous he was every time they went out on a call. Two hours later Olivia found herself in the Captains office.

"Olivia what can I do for you?" She entered closing the door behind her. Don Cragen always knew when anyone entered and closed his door it was a serious matter at hand.

"Captain, how was your seminar?"

"The usual too many cops bound in one room and too many bars in the hotel." Olivia managed to allow a tiny smile on her mouth.

"This looks serious have a seat." She took a seat.

"Captain I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm expecting a baby next March, well actually I'm expecting two. My son through a surrogate mother is due November 5th and this baby," she touched her stomach, "is due around the 10th of March." Her captain looked at her across his executive desk, his fingers smoothing his lips. Olivia raised her eyebrows; her eyes were full circles of anticipation.

"Well I guess congratulations are in order." He stood prompting Olivia to stand as well.

"You know the drill." He came from around his desk standing about two feet away from his detective.

"Yes I do but can I ask to please have this week to see if we can close this current case?"

"Which is?"

"The Hamilton case." He had to think for a second. His forehead puckered and he pressed his thumb to the corner of his mouth.

"The others take the beat you stay back and do the interrogations if it comes to that."

"Captain nothing will happen if I'm just knocking on doors." She pleaded.

"It's not open for discussion. I'll contact 1pp to get Nick a temp."

"Thanks." A small smile formed on her mouth then she proceeded to walk out.

"Olivia do you want to use your maternity leave consecutively?"

"I can do that?"

"I'll put in a special request to the chief of d's." Olivia was really smiling now.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks Captain." Don reached his arms out and Olivia hesitated a second before closing her arms around him. Nick smiled from his desk watching the interaction.

"What's that all about?" Amanda inquired.

"I'll let Liv tell you." Fin and his partner stared at one another. Olivia came out to the open.

"Nick says you have something to tell us Liv. Please don't tell us you're retiring already and if it's Amaro you're sick of I'll be your partner." Nick shook his head, lowering it chuckling.

"Hey what am I chopped liver?" Amanda said surprised.

"No that would be me." Munch said bowing his head coming into the gathering.

"It's nothing of the sort." She told them. Olivia had preferred not to say anything about her own baby until she was finished with the first trimester. Expectant mothers are always superstitious but having to say the same thing over in another month seemed odd. "I'm pregnant and I'm expecting a baby in November via surrogacy and then my own baby next year." The smiles and congratulations were contagious as Amanda rose from her chair hugging her first then the cavalcade followed. Nick looked at Fin as he walked by Nick's desk.

"I'm the preferred partner she tells me everything." Nick said patting Fin on the back. Fin sneered at Nick.

"So you begin desk duty today." Nick said to his partner.

"Don't look so overjoyed you don't know who your temporary partner is." Olivia never ended up closing the Hamilton case but still kept focus on it. Thursday rolled around the day of Maria's chemo and radiation treatment. Olivia noticed him look at his watch a dozen times.

"Why don't you be the bigger one and call her parents."

"No they'll cherry pick what they want to tell me. I'll be right back Liv." She watched him go. She used the opportunity to use the ladies room.

"Who's the father of Liv's baby?" Fin asked his partner. She looked at him with curiosity as well.

"Other than a woman's age and her weight you never ask who the baby daddy is." Fin's mouth fell slightly ajar at her retort.

"Uh huh…yeah." Nick returned and he looked madder than a messed with hornet's nest.

"Everything ok." Olivia looked around the side of her computer at him.

"I'm going to go for a drive I need some air." Olivia started to go after him but didn't want cause any unwanted stares. It waited till later that evening.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Nick hit the gym while Olivia dined alone. She was pushing the settings on the dishwasher when she heard him enter. "I saved you some dinner."

"Thanks." Not much was said while she watched him devour his dinner. Afterwards they retired to the patio.

"I still should have been told…why wasn't I told? Suppose something went wrong." He hit the pole supporting the retractable awning with the side of his fist. Olivia sat in her chair and jerked back a little bit. She had never witnessed a shred of his multicultural temper and hoped tonight was not going to be a start.

"Nick I know you care about Maria, not as you once did and that's why that makes you who you are. There's not a malicious hair on your head but baby you have to understand that you and Maria lead separate lives now and while I know it would have been the right thing to do to let you know, she really doesn't owe you any explanation." Nick stood with his arms crossed leaning against the pole. Olivia came to him and stood behind him sliding her arms around him playing with the button just below the others that were unbuttoned. Her head came to rest on his shoulder.

"But nothing did so be grateful for that." She kissed the side of his head. "So she doesn't have to go through radiation?"

"No because radiation therapy is not effective for advanced stages. Vital organs are involved so apparently a high dose can't be safely delivered."

"We just continue to pray Nick every day that she's that much closer to remission." Nick continued to stare out into the back yard.

"I need to mow the grass."

"This weekend you can, right now just come sit with me. I want to show you a few cribs in the catalogue that came in the mail last month." She led him by the hand to the canopy swing. Her leg lazily lay across his as he caressed her thigh and knee. "I like this one and I like that one. What do you like?"

"I like em all a crib is a crib to me."

"Typical male response."

"Ok I don't like light colored wood or white I prefer dark stained." She turned her head to him.

"We're getting somewhere now." She said flirtatiously. "We can go shopping Saturday…huh?"

"Sure."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

They started their Saturday morning at a local chain restaurant for breakfast. "Feels weird I don't have Zara this weekend."

"I know but I'm not sorry that I have you all to myself for a weekend." They smiled as they dug in to their breakfast. Today was Maria's birthday and this was the first birthday that he wouldn't be celebrating with her. Later at the store Nick made his excuse to use the men's room. They were almost settled on the mellowed cherry wood. He came from the bathroom and took a sip of water from the fountain then pulled his phone from his pants pocket. It went to her voice mail.

"Hey Maria it's me…I uh just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and I'm glad you're surgery went well. Well that's it please say hi to Zara for me and tell her I miss her…bye." He made his way back to Olivia and the sales person.

"We set?" he asked.

"I think so the mellow cherry wood right?"

"Yeah I like that one it's almost matches the rocking chair and dresser, do you?"

"I love it!" Olivia couldn't wait to get home and put it together. She moved close to him on the drive home lacing her fingers with his.

"The only thing that is wrong with a store like that is everything that you buy you have to assemble yourself."

"Is there anything you don't complain of?"

"What? Why do you say that?"

"No I 'm just saying I just didn't feel you were into this today. Physically you were there but mentally I don't know."

"Oh come on Liv you can't be serious. A crib lasts two years it's not a long term purchase like a car."

"Nick!" Olivia scowled at him.

"Oh jeeze I said the wrong thing."

"Yeah you did. I thought this was as important to you as it is to me."

"It is I'm sorry." Olivia remained silent the rest of the way home. Nick brought the crib inside while Olivia busied herself in the kitchen. An hour later he summoned her to the nursery.

"Ta-da!"

"Wow it looks great!" She stood from the doorway admiring his craftsmanship. She had a handful of cookies that she had been munching on.

"Craving?"

"Frosted oatmeal cookies…yeah." She bit the one she just examined giving him the rest turning his baseball cap around to the front.

"I am into this Liv all of it."

"I know sometimes I have to take a step back and tell myself this all happened so fast for you." Nick moved took a few steps closer touching her belly. She looked so cute in her denim overall shorts with his baby inside her. She was almost 6 weeks along now. They basked in each other's happiness as soon to be parents. Nick planted a sweet kiss on her lips.

"Am I out of the dog house now?"

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

It was August now and the date for Nick's custody hearing was upon him. In a way he was happy that he agreed with Maria to file in the District of Columbia Civil Court rather than New York. D.C. divorce laws were not as stringent as New York laws and the parents only had to show proof of separate living quarters and no consummation between the parents for a year in which Nick and Maria already had as of May 2012. Since there was a young child involved they were ordered by family court to attend counseling for 6 weeks to hopefully reconcile their differences. Nick was allowed to participate in online courses as well as in person with Maria which he did on Fridays before he picked up Zara. Today was the day a decision was to be made to decide which parent was to regain full custody of their daughter.

Nick was nervous standing next to his lawyer as he waited for the judge. The next sounds he heard rang loud in his head. The bailiff came out the side door.

_All rise_. _The honorable Martin Bronish presides_.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentleman. While it pains me as to why we're all here today, I am ready to render my verdict in the case of Amaro vs. Amaro. The judge shuffled the papers in front of him and did something on the computer in front of him. "Ms. Amaro I wish you all the best in your recovery process God speed to you."

"Thank you your honor."

"Mr. Amaro you have demonstrated before the court of a worthy parent to have full custodianship of your daughter. Giving up every weekend to tend to a 6 year old is commendable in the court's eyes and I do sir commend you and I commend both of you for sparing your child anymore hurt than she already displays by acting with civility towards one another. More and more fathers are stepping up as you say to the plate to take on a more responsible role in their children's lives which pleases me. I'm a father of 7 all of whom are grown, married and on their own thank the Lord. A mother's love from womb until that last apron string is cut free is undeniable and that is not to say without judgment that a father's love is anything less but in the child's best interest I am awarding sole and physical custody of Zara Angelina Amaro to Maria D. Amaro."

Nick wanted to vomit right then and there. "Mr. Amaro you will have consecutive weekend visitation not commence before 3:00 p.m. on Friday's and not to exceed past 6:00 p.m. on Sunday's. Family court will help you in deciding the calendar which will reflect all major holidays to be jointly shared. Thank you counselors this court is adjourned." The banging of the gavel was deafening to Nick. Maria hugged her lawyer and Nick was slow to shake hands with his as he stood frozen, shocked and dismayed. Maria's mother came forward from her seat to hug her daughter. Maria being weak from her treatments was helped along by her mother and her lawyer. She avoided making eye contact with Nick as she exited the courtroom. His lawyer and hers would finalize the calendar with family court. Olivia had a hard time physically reaching Nick when he returned to New York later that evening. She lay holding him and that was all she could do to help his numbness subside.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Hannah and her family traveled to Brooklyn for a cook out at Olivia's. Three months to go now before a healthy baby boy would be Olivia's. Hannah brought a cake that was called punch bowl cake. It was layered with pieces of sponge cake, mixed fruits of strawberries, kiwi's, blueberries and bananas and lots of whip cream. Since Nick was in Washington Olivia was not going to touch the grill so Hannah's husband did the honors. Olivia fawned all over her three kids that aged in range of 9, 7 and 5. Two girls and the youngest was their son. Some people were just born to be a parent. The girls had all kinds of questions for Olivia who didn't seem to mind answering anything about her job.

"Girls leave Olivia alone." Their mother said giggling at their novice reporter skills.

"Oh its fine I don't mind." All throughout the day Hannah studied Olivia and knew her hunch was spot on. When they got ready to head back to Connecticut, Hannah waited until she and Olivia were alone.

"So how far along are you Olivia?" Olivia was taken aback with the question. She looked at her friend.

"How did you know?"

"Olivia most women don't bend over like that only a pregnant woman would and when you passed on the wine I knew then." Olivia smiled at the woman's revelation.

"I'll be 8 weeks on Tuesday." Hannah smiled wide coming over and hugging Olivia.

"Congratulations!"

"Thanks."

"Listen Olivia next month my girlfriends are putting together a shower for you."

"Oh thank you Hannah."

"I'll email you the particulars."

"Ok."

"Thank you for having us you have a lovely home and I just love that crib, beautiful wood." Olivia smiled. She saw Hannah to the door and waved good bye as the family drove away.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

"She's finally asleep." Nick said closing the hotel suite's bedroom door. He took the two pillows housekeeping left and placed them on the couch along with a blanket.

"Nick thanks for allowing me to tag along for dinner."

"It was Zara's idea. How long are your parents in Italy for?"

"Two more weeks, still it was nice so thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"Nick, I know the hearing two weeks ago didn't go as you had hoped for, but for Zara's sake let's try and do more things together."

"Maria I don't think it's a good idea to fake anything for her sake. She's of age of reason and I will remain cordial to you in front of her but I'm not comfortable being part of any fiasco." Maria took off her head scarf and ran her fingers through her hair. A clump ended up in her hand.

"I don't know why I bother with this it's all going to fall out eventually."

"And it will grow back."

"Maybe." She retied her scarf.

"Maria don't talk like that. Strength and faith will get you through this."

"Nick you didn't have your reproductive organs taken from you, you have no idea what it feels like to not feel human."

"You're still a woman Maria minus a uterus all it means is that you can't have any more children. Were you planning on having anymore?"

"It's late I'm going now." She grabbed her purse and cane and hobbled out the door. The man from Maria's office that she was seeing has become distant now that he's discovered she has cancer.


	9. Chapter 9 Manipulations

***Rock on! Thank you all again and again for your fantastic reviews so just keep em comin cuz you all inspire me :D Hang onto to your seats cuz it's about to get bumpy here soon.**

****In this chapter Nick calls his mother "bonita (beautiful) mamacita" and while some may think it means sexy hot momma it depends on who you are addressing. From a son to a mother it translates in Guatemala as an affectionate endearment...little matriarch with big heart.**

"That's it sweetie you're doing great!" Nick was teaching his daughter how to roller skate in Central Park. He kept looking around for her hoping that she would show. Nick donned roller blades but Zara opted for the ones with 4 wheels. She squealed when they started to descend down a small incline.

"Daaaaaady catch me I'm going too fast." Nick was not far behind and raced to her coming up beside her.

"Zara use your foot stop like I showed you."

"I can't!" Nick moved in front of her physically stopping her. She crashed into his arms.

"I don't want to skate anymore my feet are hurting." Nick patted her head.

"Ok we'll go return the skates. What do you want to do next?"

"Feed the ducks and get ice cream."

"Ok will go feed the ducks and get ice cream." Nick didn't see Olivia coming from afar until she was in his line of sight.

"Fancy meeting you two here, beautiful day to be in the park." Olivia smiled at Nick first then Zara.

"Zara honey you remember Olivia?"

"Yes, hi Olivia."

"Hi Zara I see you're learning to skate." Olivia came level with her eyes. "You know I always wanted to learn how to skate but I never did."

"How come?"

"My mom was a teacher so she was always busy grading her students papers on the weekends so I guess she really didn't have the time."

"Then why didn't your daddy teach you?" This was the first glimpse into her past that Nick has heard about her mother. He looked at Olivia and she looked up at him and he remembered stemming from their conversation in the Medical Examiner's office that day that she has never spoken about her parents to him just that it was a long story and right away he knew that Olivia may not be comfortable answering Zara's question.

"Hey we're going to go feed the ducks and get ice cream you're welcome to join us if you don't have anything to do."

"I'd love to thanks." After Nick enticed the ducks that were on land into the water so none of them would nip at Zara with feed in her hand, she ventured close to the edge tossing food to them watching them in a frenzy, laughing hard.

"How you feeling today?" he asked her.

"It's been a calm morning so that's a good sign."

"Yeah it is. I'm glad you came Liv."

"Me too I needed to get out and walk besides it good for us." she said rubbing her belly. "So Maria is here in the city?" Nick picked up on the worry in her voice.

"Yeah but don't worry she's in a hotel near the airport…she's not spying on us."

"Don't be a smart ass."

"I'm not just relax ok." He reached for her hand but she pulled away. "Maria said she would alternate weekends with me to give me a break on all the travel and hotel expense."

"That's really generous of her." Olivia said with a hint of sarcasm. Nick gave her a sideways glance.

"I'm going to ask the captain to put me back on the weekend rotation."

"What about Zara?"

"My mom will watch her. Liv I can't just give up my job because I'm going through a divorce. Zara's in bed by 8 so if I need to work the late shift I will and then be home when she wakes up in the morning." Olivia watched his daughter continue to giggle at the ducks at her beck and call.

"Nick you don't have to explain it to me I know what's it like not to be in the thick of things and it kills me sometimes."

"But it's all worth it." She watched him looking at her stomach and a smile appeared across her lips.

"I can see if my mom will watch her tonight if you want to catch a movie."

"I don't know Nick it's awfully risky why don't we just rent something or order a movie?"

"Sure we can do that." After enjoying ice cream with Olivia they said their good byes. Back at their house when Nick asked her what she wanted for dinner, Zara asked if her mommy could have dinner again with them. Nick picked her up sitting her on his lap.

"Piquita I know you want me and mommy to get back together but it's not going to happen. It's sad we grew apart and don't love one another like we used to but we both love you and will never stop loving you ok?"

"But mommy's sick and you always said to take care of sick people."

"And we do that…I take care of you when you're sick and so does mommy but with mommy it's different she has your nonno and nonna to take care of her and she has you." Nick gently poked her in the stomach tickling her. Zara squirmed in his arms telling him to stop.

"Not until you give me some sugar." Nick held his grip on her turning her upside down then right side up when she laughed so hard she said she couldn't breathe.

She planted a kiss on his cheek.

"The protective arms release you." His phone rang.

"Hey we were just getting ready to head out and get dinner. Zara? Yeah she's here just a minute. Piquita your mommy wants to talk to you."

"Hi mommy!"

"How was your day what did you do?"

"Daddy taught me how to roller skate but my feet got hurt and then we feed the ducks and daddy bought me ice cream."

"That sounds like a fun day, so what are you having for dinner?"

"I don't know are you going to come too mommy?"

"Well that's up to your daddy."

"Daddy can mommy come to dinner with us?" Nick was stuck for an answer. He didn't like when his daughter put in him in the middle like this. He took a deep breath reaching for the phone and covering the receiver with his hand.

"Zara go get washed up so we can go as soon as I hang up ok?"

"Ok." He waited until she went into the bathroom.

"Maria I'm trying not to be the bad guy here but the weekends are mine with her and I told you I don't want to mislead her.

"It's just dinner Nick but if you rather not it's fine."

"This is the last time Maria." When Zara came from the bathroom Nick summoned her to the couch.

"Zara when I tell you something I expect you to do as I say and not put me into a position where I have to say yes so I don't look like the bad guy. I told you before that this is my weekend with you, just you and me. Piquita when grown-ups can no longer live together they separate and then moms and dads try to get back together but sometimes it doesn't always work out and people get divorced. I know this is not easy on you living in two places but honey mommy and me decided it was best that we live apart instead of together arguing all the time." She was quiet as she sat and stared at the floor then the tears came. Nick pulled her into a hug. She stopped crying after several moments of what seemed like hyperventilating to Nick. "Sweetheart, you know something?"

"What?" Zara said with her diaphragm beginning to calm down and her bottom lip still quivering a bit.

"You're a lucky kid, you get two of everything, a birthday with mommy and one with me and two Christmases' and other holidays too." He knew it was no consolation and all he could now was reassure her he would always love her.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxox oxo**

"Do you mind if I tuck her in?" Maria asked.

"No." Nick sat on the couch flipping through channels.

"Thanks. She went right out you wore her out. I wish I had her energy."

"It'll come back slowly but surely. When is your last treatment?"

"The end of September if I'm lucky and all the cancer is gone otherwise we start another round."

"It'll be a good report." Maria stood leaning on her cane looking at him. He fidgeted knowing his mother would be knocking at the door any moment now and he didn't want her seeing his mother because he didn't want to have to lie to her.

"You know Nick it's been a nice few weeks between us with no arguing and Zara really enjoys this."

"Yeah it's been nice but Maria."

"Shhh don't say anything. I look back and I think wow we didn't make it to 7 years. I really thought we would have."

"Me too but we can't sit here and talk about what might have been." Maria inched closer to where he stood.

"Nick despite everything that has gone wrong with us a part of me will always love you and it makes me wonder why we didn't try harder to save our marriage. I should have been more understanding with your job." His nerves were out in full force, he swallowed hard sighing, looking at her. She stepped closer to him as he remained silent.

"Good night Nick." They stood looking at one another and then Maria slowly leaned over pressing her lips to his. At first it was as if he was a mannequin then his lips parted to meet hers. It only took a few seconds to bring him back to reality and he pulled away.

"I'm sorry I don't know why I did that."

"It's ok…I kissed you." His phone went off and he reached into the side cargo pocket retrieving it. Looking at the name he put his phone back into the pocket of his shorts.

"Who was that?"

"It's work. I'm going to have to call them back I'll see you tomorrow at the train."

"You never brushed off work when we were together, what's going on?"

"Maria we just kissed and I'm not thinking clearly at the moment. Look I had a talk with Zara earlier and the three of us hanging out it's not going to happen anymore. You have her through the week and the weekends are mine, I just want us to get through this divorce." She gave him a hard cold stare something he was used to from her.

"It suddenly got very cold in here as it always had." She abruptly turned and slammed the door on her way out." He went after her.

"Maria I'll take you to your hotel."

"Don't bother I'm calling a cab!" He looked at his watch it was almost 8:30. He called Olivia back.

"Zara to wound up to go to sleep?"

"No actually she went right to sleep. I was caught up in the middle of something when you called so I'm just gonna jump in the shower and then I'll be over ok?"

"No. You can take one here…with me." He nervously laughed at her flirtatious proposal.

"I like the sound of that."

"See you soon." Olivia said hanging up. Maria's eyes grew wide when she spied Nick's mother coming up the sidewalk.

"Why are you here?"

"Do I need to have a reason to see my son and granddaughter?"

"She's asleep." Maria said coldly.

"Nick is not and may I ask why you're here?" Just then her taxi pulled up and she got in without answering her soon to be ex mother in law. Mrs. Amaro rolled her eyes as she looked away continuing up the walkway. Nick had just finished in the bathroom by running a wet wash cloth under his arms and adding another layer of deodorant and brushing his teeth. He splashed some cologne between his hands and patted his face then switched off the light.

"Uhh mio what did you ever see in that woman to want to marry her?"

"What, you saw Maria?"

"Si and now you'll have to hose the sidewalk down."

"Ma what did you tell her?"

"Nicky you know me better than that. I told her it was none of her beeswax why I come to see my son and granddaughter so in a huff she got in her cab and drove off. It would have been better if she had just flown away on her broom."

"Sorry ma I know." Nick thanked and kissed his mother as he checked his pocket for his keys. They weren't there. He grabbed them from the kitchen table. He never told his mother why he needed her to stay the night and she never inquired why. She reared both her children to have respect for their own and other's privacy but Mrs. Amaro wasn't a dumb woman either.

"Nicky when do I get to meet this mystery lady?" He came to her, placed his hand on her cheek, tilting his head down to look at his mother squarely.

"Buenas noches mi bonita mamacita."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

"That was a great movie." Olivia lay in the crook of his arm with her hands on top of his one hand that rested on her stomach. He put the remote on the table with his other hand and stretched his arm to switch off the lamp. They laid there in complete darkness. Nick removed his hand from underneath hers and gently rolled onto his side. Olivia rolled over too.

"I love you." she smiled warmly at him.

"I love you too Nick." They started kissing slowly and softly until he shifted himself between her legs. He hoisted himself over her, kissing her face, her neck and her chest. She winced slightly in pain as his mouth tugged a little too hard on her erect nipple. He shed his clothes first then helped her remove hers. She reached to fondle him but he moved her hand away. Usually there's light foreplay before engaging but tonight he dove right in. His strokes were quick but easy. Olivia wasn't sure what the urgency was with him tonight.


	10. Chapter 10 Just breathe

***Rock on! Thank you all again and again for your fantastic reviews so just keep em comin cuz you all inspire me :D Hang onto to your seats cuz it's about to get bumpy here soon.**

****In this chapter Nick calls his mother "bonita (beautiful) mamacita" and while some may think it means sexy hot momma it depends on who you are addressing. From a son to a mother it translates in Guatemala as little matriarch with big heart.**

He picked his head up from the warm recess of her neck and kissed her softly. "That was amazing it just keeps getting better." Olivia gazed into his eyes, the smile no apparent as all the other times.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were preparing to leave now." _Huh_ was the silent expression across his face. It didn't register with him. He honestly felt she was into it. He remained on top of her until she moved him off and scooted to her side of the bed. Nick sighed rolling onto his side.

"What's wrong now?"

"Where are you?" she said staring at the ceiling. He rolled back onto his side facing her.

"I'm right here, why?" She remained silent. "What is it Liv?"

"Nothing."

"It's something, otherwise you wouldn't be mad."

"I'm not mad it's just you've always made love to me not make a quick get-a-way." Now he was getting it.

"I'm sorry Liv I'm just keyed up with the divorce on hold and wishing it was already over."

"Is that all?" He froze at the question. His dual conscience was speaking to him again.

_If I tell her Maria, Zara and I have been having dinner then she'll just blow it out of proportion saying I'm having mixed feelings about getting divorced_. _If I don't tell her, I'm not really holding back anything because nothing happened_, _it meant nothing, it was just a kiss and I'm not the one who initiated it_.

"Yeah I'm sure."

"Ok." She cupped his chin then rolled over. Nick moved up behind her, his erection coming in contact with the small of her back. He kissed the top of her head and smoothed his hand down the still warm skin on her arm.

She patted his hand. When he awoke he looked at her alarm clock, it was 7:52. Olivia was not in the bed next to him. He heard her in the bathroom so he got up to check on her. She was bent over, her arms cradling the porcelain commode. He backed away retreating back to the bed where he sat on her side waiting. The faucet creaked and he listened to her banging her toothbrush on the sink and then in a few moments she appeared licking her lips.

"You going?"

"Not until I know you're ok. Are you ok?"

"You've never been pregnant before, this is all part of the joys." She said sarcastically. "I'll be fine I'm just going to crawl back in my bed and stay here all day." He moved over letting her get in on her side. Nick went around the bed crawling in beside her. He pulled her back against his body, kissing her temple, resting the side of his face against her cheek.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxo

He saw Olivia approaching from his peripheral vision. Being pregnant suited her. She was wearing a beautiful purple blouse and her chestnut brown hair lay perfectly on her shoulders. Her make up always impeccable gave her that extra glow.

"Morning." Nick said.

"Morning." Olivia said.

"Hey Liv." Fin said.

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine for a rainy Monday." Munch said. She passed by him putting her purse in her bottom drawer, looked up at Nick catching him staring with a small smile on his lips. She lowered her eyebrows and shook her head at him signaling him to stop. Nick went back to whatever it was he was doing on his computer. Captain Cragen appeared with what looked like a small post it note.

"People it's only Monday and I haven't even had my first cup of coffee yet. Everyone turned their attention on the boss. "16 year old female at Belleview Emergency claims she's been raped by someone she met online. Who's up?" Munch and Amanda spoke over one another.

"Nick and I will go Cap'n."

"Fin and I can take it."

"Amaro you and Munch take this." Nick rose followed by Munch. "Her name is Karen Emkes. Tread lightly on this one she's the daughter of the deputy Mayor. Fin you always have that intimidating way with grown men stalking under age females. You and Rollins pay a visit to the Side Street Café where she last logged in."

"70 million people on the internet everyone is a suspect." Munch said patting Fin's shoulder on his way out.

"There he goes on his conspiracy kick again." Fin retorted.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xo

Munch and Amaro returned with the victim. "I still say we need to press her father." Nick said tossing his jacket onto the back of the chair looking frustrated.

"Nick do you hear yourself? So her father looks at porn, its adult porn…it's legal and he has no priors."

"Does his wife know? I bet the Mayor's office wouldn't want that to come out. And after the tech guy gets here and after we see those crypted pictures on her computer you're going to buy me a steak dinner." Nick looked at his partner who was engrossed in the exchange between her partner and the Sergeant. "She's protecting her rapist!" Nick added.

"The captain said we tread lightly." Munch laid a heavy hand on his shoulder sinking Nick a little deeper as he reclined with his hands behind his head. He and Olivia locked eyes.

"Let me have a go at her."

"Be my guest." He told her.

"Hi Karen I'm Olivia, how are you?"

"Fine." Karen was obviously nervous chewing on the cuffs of her sweatshirt sobbing.

"We read some of things this guy emailed you. He's a predator Karen why are you protecting him?"

"I'm not protecting him."

"It sure sounds like it. He really didn't take you to that parking lot. You made that part up."

"Yes."

"Listen its ok we just need you to tell us what really happened. Karen, look at me even though he didn't use force he took advantage of you. We can charge him with statutory rape and those cases are taken very seriously now a days."

"Can he go to jail?"

"Yes he could."

"What have I done? I never met a guy online. I was just joking around with my boyfriend. I told him if he didn't stop I was going to say he raped me.

"What!" Nick said from his position against the door coming over to the round table. Olivia gestured to him to take it down a notch. Just then Captain Cragen opened the door to the room.

"Nick, Olivia a moment please." They followed the captain out.

"Karen's online buddy just emailed pictures of himself to another girl." Cragen said pointing to the screen.

"His face is blacked out." Munch said.

"How old is that girl?" Nick asked teeth clenched. After digging deeper on the Deputy Mayor's husband Nick found out he had an airtight alibi and all his internet porn surfing was legal. His wife being in the high position she was in requested that this be discreetly taken care of. The team was coming up empty with leads because their stalker was using a fictitious name online he café internet hoped hoping to throw the SVU team off his trail. Day three TARU finally came up with a phone number. When Nick heard the number he recognized it as Karen's boyfriend. They brought the boyfriend in and grilled him.

"He rented the basement from my parents I had no idea he was using our phone line or the basement to run his kiddie porn operation." In the end the team set up a sting luring him in and catching the husband of the Deputy Mayor. It was a reporter's dream taking picture after picture of the husband of a high profile New York City Government official doing the perp walk.

"Nice work, feel good getting off ass duty?" Nick teased her.

"Yeah go after more internet stalkers." She smiled.

"Ok Nick I'm good for that steak dinner."

"How about we all go out and celebrate? Total team effort."

"If Munch is paying then I want a $50.00 dollar steak." Fin chuckled.

"Detective Tutuola I'm an underpaid Sergeant with the NYPD and my credit cards are maxed perhaps we go to an early bird buffet."

"Add el cheapo after conspiracy nut to your resume."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo 

The team enjoyed a night out together and a good dinner and Munch didn't have to treat after all. The Captain was invited but had to decline due to an AA meeting. As they left the restaurant Sergeant Munch placed his hand on Nick's shoulder.

"I gotta hand it you new guy you really do have the keen eye for this job."

"Thanks Munch but I'm not the new guy anymore." Nick told him smiling. Munch looked down his nose at the young detective.

"With your sense and sensibility you'll always be new to me with today's technology." The two men shook hands before parting ways. Olivia had already taken off in her cruiser when Nick looked around for her. Fin and Amanda were gone too.

"Give you a lift?"

"Thanks my young friend but I have an important person to check in on close by." The both turned their heads in the direction of the blaring sirens two blocks up.

"That's not good." Nick said. "Alright see you tomorrow." Munch tipped his hat and walked on and Nick walked across the street into the parking garage.

Nick had only been a few miles up the road on his way to Olivia's when he came upon a barrage of flashing lights. He flipped on the grill lights on and threw it in park. As he got closer he gasped for air as he came up on the accident. He knew that license plate anywhere, and he never expected to see such a horrific site as her punched in brown cruiser.

"Olivia!"


	11. Chapter 11 A crash a miracle & recovery

**So sorry for the confusion with uploading chapter 10 for some reason I was having issues with the site so my fault totally for trying to replace 10 with 11. Muchos gracias for your kind reviews. I wish too all the best for Olivia and baby so stay tuned. Did a lot of research on pregnancy, x-rays and meds in case anyone had a question. Wanted to stay true to the intent of the story plus I'm taking a segment of Olivia's accident from a real life happening.**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xo**

The flashing reflector lights nearly blinded him, his adrenaline pumping into overdrive, his heart wanting to leap from his chest. Nick ran to her after recognizing the license plate. He pulled his shield from his belt loop shoving it forward.

"Nick Amaro from the 1-6…that's my partner! What the hell happened?" he said, pushing his way past emergency personal to get to Olivia, his eyes scanning the crash scene.

"Preliminary discussion says she was t-boned by the limo over there," the officer pointed. Nick took one look at the limo's front end then at Olivia. She was conscience but in shock. There was a bleeding gash on the left side of her head. Her hair was matted with blood that had streaked down the side of her face to her neck. They had a neck brace on her as she sat in her cruiser with shattered glass still in her lap and all around. The driver's side door had been pounded in shoving her to almost the middle of the bench seat. The airbag was deployed and showed stains of blood. Two paramedics were pulling her out carefully as Nick came to her.

"Olivia it's me, I'm right here you're going to be ok." He reached for her hand; she looked at him taking his hand, very visibly shaken. All the color seemed to have vanished from Nick's face.

"Nick." She cried to him.

"She's pregnant, two and half months."

"She told us detective. We don't see any physical signs of distress to the baby and she's only saying that her arm and knee hurt. The stabilizer is a precaution for possible whiplash. They'll do an ultrasound in the e-r and know more then." They moved her onto the stretcher and placed the oxygen tube around her head and into her nostrils. Nick gave his keys to a cop standing next to him. He glanced over at the fireman tending to the driver of the limo.

Another ambulance pulled up on site.

He never let go of Olivia's hand until they reached the transport then he let go climbing in after she was safely in. The e.m.t. rapped on the window separator alerting the driver they were ready for transport. She then applied a cuff to Olivia's upper right arm and punched in numbers to the portable. A small drip of sodium chloride was hooked up, she then tore off the plastic to the package that the needle came in and grabbed a latex band from her supply box.

"Alright Olivia I need you to mak-" Olivia knew the drill all too well and had already made a fist from watching her do the prep.

"That's it thanks." The e.m.t. added. Nick smiled at his partner touching her thigh.

Finding her vein was easy.

An iv line was now administering the fluid. Nick was not good at hiding his look of panic. Olivia's eyes opened and closed.

"We're almost there you're going to be ok." He said barely cracking a smile.

"My baby." Olivia moaned softly.

"They say the baby's fine no distress." Olivia didn't believe Nick and looked out of the corner of her eye to the e.m.t.

"He's right." Olivia winced in pain as the ambulance bounced over the city's street bumps. Her blood pressure measured 138/85, she was experiencing pre hypertension. The e.m.t. looked at Nick; he had his eyes glued to the monitor. He knew good readings meant 120/80 and below were stable pressures. His eyes grew wide with fear looking back to the e.m.t.

Arriving at the emergency room the paramedic gave the stats to the team of nurses and one doctor taking possession of Olivia. Nick alerted the captain and then followed the team into the exam room.

"Detective do you mind staying behind the curtain we need to examine her." Nick looked at his partner then stepped back behind the divider. Captain Don Cragen arrived within minutes. Nick noticed him and led him outside where they could talk in private.

"How is she?" Don noticed the heavy emotion behind his detective's eyes.

"They're examining her now they say there's no sign of distress to the baby. She may have whiplash, says her arm and knee hurt."

"Thank God it's only that. How did it happen?"

"Yeah." Nick puffed his cheeks out sighing looking back at the curtain knowing Olivia was lying there in pain and there was nothing he could do to lessen her pain. He said a prayer for her and their unborn baby.

"Nick." Nick turned his attention back to the captain.

"Uh limo driver t-boned her."

"Under the influence?"

"Don't know they didn't say anything about his b.a.c." Olivia had monitors taped to her chest and abdomen. There was some distress to the baby which is why her blood pressure spiked. As her pregnancy progressed she would most likely endure high blood pressure which is quite the norm with most all pregnant women, nothing that an ob-gyn keeps a close eye on though. The x-ray of her chest/abdomen showed nothing broken but the second x-ray did show a broken left arm and sprained knee. They stitched her head up, gave her Tylenol and prepped her for surgery to reset the broken arm. When the doctor came out of the room Nick practically jumped from his seat. Captain Don Cragen knew that detectives share a degree of closeness as he noticed for 12 years with his two aces Elliot and Olivia. Either Nick was a dedicated partner or there was something else he noted.

"The baby seems fine, he/she is one lucky little baby already showing signs of toughness like their mother. She has a broken arm and sprained knee; they're taking her upstairs now to the o-r. She should be out in a few hours."

"Broken arm?" Nick looked at the nurse.

"I'm a mother too detective and I would do anything to try and shield my unborn child if I saw what she saw coming at me." Captain Cragen put his arm on Nick's back giving him a reassuring pat.

_She shielded our baby_.

Nick took a deep breath barely managing a full smile. He knew if showed any more over the top emotion he would set off red flags. His Captain was no dummy_. _Fin, Amanda and Sergeant Munch joined Nick and the captain in the o-r waiting room. It seemed like more than the few hours of a wait for Nick.

"How is she?" Amanda asked with worry.

"She's in surgery having her broken arm set. A gash and a sprained knee but she's good to go." Cragen informed them.

"And the baby?"

"Baby's fine." The captain added. Munch and Fin breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"Where are we with our carjacking rapist?" The captain asked.

"The first victim Emily Montigue, she's out of i.c.u, and-" Fin was about to elaborate on the 2nd victim but just then the doctor appeared. All eyes were on him. Nick stood approaching him as the others followed.

"She's in recovery now resting comfortably you go can go in anytime."

"Thanks doc." Don Cragen told him.

"It takes me having an accident for all of you to be here at once." Olivia said a bit weary coming out of the anesthesia.

"It's not every day we get two miracles." Her captain said. Olivia had offers from three of her colleagues to stay the night with her but she shooed them out after a while saying that she had a hospital full of certified nurses and degreed doctors who were only a call away. She wasn't a bit surprised when Nick returned in a half hour. Her eyes fluttered opened as he pressed his lips against hers.

"Hi." She said smiling.

"Hey baby and you too baby." He kissed her belly careful of the fetal monitor belt attached to her stomach. "I was so scared Liv." He stared at the bandage around her temple area then he picked up her hands bringing them to his lips.

"I know I was too." She told him. He smiled at her knowing what could have been.

"The other driver, are they ok?"

"That's just like you to be worried about others." Olivia cocked her head giving him a direct look.

"Twenty six year old kid just got his chauffer's license. He was stinking drunk, blood alcohol content…two points above the legal limit." Olivia closed her eyes at the news.

"Miracles really do come true." He said softly gazing at her.

"That I'm a 45 year old woman having her first baby and that we were spared tonight." Nick squeezed her hand a little tighter. Olivia blinked, her eyes were becoming moist. A tear pooled at the corner of her eye. Nick rose from his chair wiping it away bending over giving her a light peck on the lips.

"Yes." Their gaze was interrupted when they turned their heads at the sound of knocking and the door opening.

"Hi. Olivia said looking at the nurse with the portable vital machine." They watched her as she stuck a thermometer in Olivia's mouth and waited for the machine to beep. The nurse picked up Olivia's wrist timing her pulse. Olivia's blood pressure still ran a little high 127/75.

"Can I bring you anything, water, crackers, juice?"

"Water with no ice and can I have some hot tea?"

"Sure, how about some pudding?"

"No thanks, I never really liked pudding or jello growing up."

"You don't what you're missing with hospital jello." Her nurse snickered.

"I'll take my chances then." Olivia told her smiling.

"How about you daddy you need anything?" They both were startled at the nurse's addressing of Nick as the baby daddy.

"I'm her partner and no thanks I'm fine."

"Alright I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Thank you." She and Nick watched her leave looking at one another. Somehow the edge was becoming dangerously closer.

"That chair can't be comfortable."

"It'll do for tonight."

"Thanks for coming back but really you don't have to, I'll be fine. Nick really you should go." Olivia shifted her eyes to the door reminding him of what was just said.

"As Cragen would say it's not open for discussion."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xo**

Olivia was discharged two days later. Nick picked her up and brought her home. "You want to be out here or lay down in your room?"

"Out here's fine for now." He helped her get settled by propping her ace bandaged knee up on the ottoman, brought her a glass of water, opened the wrapped sandwich they picked up on the way home, Tylenol and the tv remote. This was all foreign to Olivia having someone wait on her, lavishing her with attention. It was influx of sorts, annoying but appreciative all at the same time.

"I wish I didn't have to go." Nick sat on the edge of the ottoman rubbing her calf.

"You can't let that son of a bitch rape another woman."

"We won't, Amanda said she'd be by later." He stood up bending over kissing her good bye. Their kisses were short but lingered. "I miss doing that."

"I miss you doing that too now scoot." Before he stood he kissed his fingers pressing them to her tummy.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Olivia went back to desk duty a week later and her baby bump was just starting to peak. She sported her first piece of maternity wear, a vivid blue V-neck sweater.

"Hey momma it's good to have you back." Fin said coming over to her with a sharpie in hand. Amanda gave her partner an eye roll.

"Yeah welcome back Liv." Amanda added.

"Welcome home Liv." Nick smiled.

"Really?" Olivia said watching Fin draw on her cast that covered half her hand all the way to her elbow.

He drew the upper part of a female cop complete with a hat and shield with her badge number 4015 on it and her last name above the shield. She looked at Nick and Amanda while Fin exercised his artistic talent.

She looked down admired his work when he was done.

"Thanks Fin, I would have never known…you as sketch artist, we don't need Fajida any longer." She cracked a sarcastic smile. The carjacking rapist had been caught and the unit was now working on two new cases.

"So what have I missed?"


	12. Chapter 12 Life is grand

**Muchos gracias for your kind reviews. Hope your seats belts are fastened?**

Olivia loved going shopping for maternity clothes. She was now officially 13 weeks pregnant and out of the woods according to pregnancy experts…aka statistics. The colors and patterns of today's fashions were by far so much better than yesteryear's. She was done fixing up her face with make-up. The small lighted mirror at her vanity table didn't do justice to her full length form and baby bulge. She went into the steamed bathroom where she took one look at the mirror all fogged up and retreated. Olivia wasn't about to redo her make up. Nick hadn't even noticed she came in; he was too busy singing Spanish love ballads while he showered. Her injuries except for her still casted arm were healing up nice. She did have a nice pink scar from the closing of the gash; nothing that make-up couldn't hide though. Olivia picked out what she was going to wear for work that day and laid on the bed. Opening the closet door she turned sideways in front of the hanging full length mirror and put her hands on her stomach. In 6 months she would be a mother finally and who would have thought her colleague would end up her lover and father of her baby. Maybe if Elliot hadn't been married they possibly would have ended up together. There was a time in their partnership she had wished for that.

Nick shut off the water and the sliding of the shower doors made her cease her deeps thoughts. When he came into the room she was just finishing throwing her robe around her causing him to look peculiarly at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed." she said matter of fact.

"With your robe on?"

"No, not with my robe." Her eyes directed his to the bed at the laid out garments.

"Why did you rush to put on the robe when you saw me?"

"Boy you're twenty questions this morning." Nick moved closer to her taking her hand.

"Liv if I told you once I've told you a thousand times, you're beautiful pregnant and you're beautiful when you weren't pregnant."

"I'm getting fat." He squinted, shaking his head in doubt at her statement.

"I wouldn't say the reason your stomach is expanding is due to over eating, I'd say it's because of a beautiful baby we made." He undid the belt on her robe and slipped his arms around her waist pulling her to his chest. Her hands rested on the sides of the towel fastened to his waistline.

"I. love. you. and your stomach and our baby." Olivia smiled against his clammy skin. On her way out she closed the bedroom door like always. Nick had already left. She stopped by the nursery taking a looking in. Leo would be here shortly, two months to be exact and next weekend is her baby shower.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Nick and Olivia headed to Connecticut for her baby shower. "Wow I thought it was just a baby shower. You'd think the Pope was in town by the number of cars lining the street."

"Haha very funny. What can I say she has a lot of friends."

"I'll say."

"You sure you don't want come in, I know the guest of honor." Olivia smiled sarcastically.

"Nooo that's quite alright you ladies just enjoy, call me when you're done." Nick leaned across the console planting a sweet kiss on her lips.

"What are you going to do for several hours?"

"Find the nearest watering hole that has my Yankees on."

"Sports and beer." She said grinning at him laughing.

"Love you, have fun."

"I will, love you too."

"Olivia welcome!" Hannhah said receiving her into her home. The decorations were lovely and Olivia gasped at the huge golf umbrella hanging upside down from the ceiling just above the rocking chair that had a giant stork standing beside it, pointing to the seat that said "mom to be."

"This so wonderful thank you again Hannah."

"Oh Olivia it's my pleasure. How are you feeling?"

"Great! Tired…hungry all the time." Olivia touched her stomach as the two women leaned in laughing.

"Tell me about it," Hannah said feeling her own belly. Olivia watched the very pregnant woman move about the room. Hannah's daughters bounced into the room hearing Olivia's voice.

"Hi Olivia! You should see your cake!" One daughter said.

"Mmm I can't wait."

"Girls help your mommy with these." Hannah asked giving them a tray of deviled eggs and a relish tray. The last of the guests arrived and the shower was under away. Olivia marveled at all the gifts she received and when they got to playing games Olivia felt her bladder wasn't going to hold up with all the laughter and water she had drank.

Nick rang the doorbell several hours later.

"Hi you must be Nick, I'm Hannah please come in. Sorry we missed you at the barbeque last month." Nick entered looking amazed at all the gifts.

"I think I may need a bigger trunk." He said chuckling. Olivia introduced him to the few women who were still there.

"So you're a police officer too?" A lady asked.

"Yes I am." He was careful as to how much information he wanted to share.

"Our baby will be well protected. Uh Liv I'll back the car into the driveway if that's ok with you Mrs. Pearson. I had to park a few houses down."

"Oh sure that will be fine. You know during football season our neighbors throw these big parties and my husband and son won't be back for a while so sure go right ahead." Another guest on her way out stopped in front of Olivia.

"It was very nice meeting you congratulations on this baby too and I love the name Leo it's so masculine and proud."

"Thank you, we like it too." Olivia told her. Nick had finished putting all the gifts in the trunk and back seat when he came back into the house. Hannah had made him a plate of food and cake to take home. He and Olivia thanked Hannah once again and said their good byes.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxo**

They were both exhausted by the time arrived back her place. Nick misjudged how many gifts they really did bring home. "Ok that's the last of em." He told her bringing in the last pile while Olivia arranged the open packages neatly in the nursery.

"Tomorrow's Sunday we can go put it all away, I'm beat." She said putting her hands on her lower back.

"You have the list of names for the thank you cards?"

"Uh I think I put it in my purse." She went out to look in her purse and came back with a yes. "You know a month ago I thought we had all the time in the world to get ready for Leo but now that he's almost here I can't believe how much there's left to do." He watched her as she bent over doing some last second rearranging. Nick smiled. She was so beautiful.

"I know." He said sitting in the rocker trying to twirl a plush football pillow on his finger as one would do with a harden basketball. Olivia picked up the pillow that fell from his hands. He grabbed her hands and stood with her.

He placed his hands on her stomach.

"You know with all the upset in our lives with Maria's cancer, the divorce, concealing our relationship, the excitement surrounding these births, I don't think I've had a chance lately to tell you lately how much I love you, how-very-much-I- love-you." Olivia scoffed smiling.

"Nick…I'm the happiest woman on Earth right now." Nick slowly pressed his lips to hers.

"Mmm." She hummed against his lips as he kissed her again. He moved his mouth to her cheek right below her ear lobe.

"Ow." He said pulling back. His lip caught the back of her earing post stabbing him his bottom lip.

"Oooh sorry honey." Olivia touched his lip then removed her earing. They resumed kissing becoming more passionate with each breath. Nick laced his fingers with hers bringing both their hands upwards. Palm to palm he rotated them in small circles continuing to kiss her. Olivia cried out in surprise when he picked her up carrying her to the bedroom. There he laid her down gently and slowly unbuttoned his shirt as she lay back enjoying. Bare chested he crawled in between her legs gently aware of her barely protruding belly.

Their gaze was long and heavy.

Olivia put her two hands on his cheeks bringing him closer to her mouth. "I love you so very much too." Nick smiled warmly at her, his lips crashing against hers. She was warm as he felt her tongue slide over his.

Their kisses deepened.

Olivia ran her fingers underneath his hair line massaging the base of his neck. Her other hand traveled down his hard back kneading his hard flesh. Nick stopped and looked at her, instantly she knew to raise her arms as he peeled off her shirt. His lips were immediately drawn to her breasts, kissing them through her bra. She rose slightly allowing his hands to undo it, smiling at him, Olivia watched him nibble and suck. The heat and sensations ripped through her loins, Olivia tossed her head back closing her eyes tight.

"You're so beautiful." Nick whispered as his hot breath traveled down her body and over bump. She squirmed underneath him as his tongue made tiny circles around her navel. He sat up giving her a hand pushing off her maternity jeans. Once discarded to the floor Olivia started to unzip his. His manhood twitched anxiously waiting to be in the open. He came to a sharp point through his white briefs as she marveled at how impressive he looked. She took him in her hands fondling his erection, kissing him softly at the base. Nick cupped her cheeks leaning down kissing her deeply; then gently pushing her backwards he spread her legs with his knees.

Olivia hummed as his breath whispered against her opening. Slowly he began to lick and tease her with his tongue. His hands smoothed the top of her thighs as she laid hers over top of his guiding them up then down.

Olivia moaned, convulsed as she came. Nick switched positions with her bringing her onto his lap. She reached below slowly guiding him inside her. Once in she put all her weight on him leaning forward practically laying on him. His arm was draped across the small of her back while the other hand was tangled throughout her long locks. Nick thrust slowly as Olivia counteracted each of his thrusts. He rolled her over when he felt himself almost ready for release. Supporting himself on his palms he pumped her gingerly, soon his teeth were clenched, groaning as he released himself.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xo**

Nick stood at the island drinking a glass of milk when she came into the kitchen in her bathrobe, her still damp from the shower.

It was already after ten. "I'm ok with writing out the thank you cards myself; you need to get home to Zara." He looked at her downing the rest of his milk putting his glass into the tiny prep sink.

"Yeah I should I hardly saw her this weekend. Sorry Liv."

"It's fine Nick, you need to spend the rest of the day with her and I'll see you later tonight after you drop Zara off at the train." Nick made his way around the island to her. His arms went around her waist, Olivia pulled back but with one hand flat on his chest. "What we have going on is working for us and I don't want to mess it up."

She gave him a quick peck.

"I love you both, see ya soon." Olivia closed her hand over his as it rested on her stomach.

"And we love you too."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

The Special Victims squad caught a case of a pimp mobster illegally trafficking his girls to foreign diplomats and when the prostitutes turned up murdered and body cavities stuffed with traces of cocaine, some of the women were discovered to have been pregnant. The team was as frustrated as their captain. 1pp was breathing down Captain Donald Cragen's neck to close this case before another prostitute became victim #9

"We have nothing to tie Dimitri to the 8 homicides or rapes. Bring me something we can use to lure this bastard in!" Cragen said barking at his team of elite detectives.

"I say we run a sting operation, you know pretend to be his competition then when he makes the offer for one of ours we nail the son of a bitch." Nick added.

"No I don't like it Nick, this guy is too powerful, if he even smells the trace of a sting, well I hate to say it but your wills better be up to date."

"Captain come on my old unit has taken down bigger drug kingpins than this guy." Nick said pleadingly.

"He's got a point captain and my years undercover with sick bastards like him can give us leverage on this hump." Fin noted.

"Rollins how are you fixed on changing your attire?"

"I'm good to go captain." She added.

"Ok but if any of you have a hunch he isn't buying you shut it down am I clear?" Nick glanced at Olivia and knew she wanted to be part of this sting badly. In all her 14 years on the job she was the best of the best in pulling filthy humps in like Dimitri. Nick had an idea.

"A yes sir." was echoed.

"Captain with all due respect to Rollins I think Liv should join us on this one."

"No way out of the question."

"Cap just hear me out. She only sits on a bar stool flaunting it when Dimitri orders the buy we move in. Captain Liv knows how work these ops better than anyone." Cragen studied his 2nd year 2nd grade detective.

"You're really content on having my balls in a sling with 1pp?"

"No sir but I know this will work with two of our most beautiful female detectives." Nick turned eyeing Olivia and Amanda. Cragen wasn't 100% sold on Nick's idea but went ahead with it anyways.

"Alright but Olivia wears a jacket under her fur coat." Nick was to play a Cuban pimp complete with a fedora, Cuban cigar, three piece pin stripped suit and pounds of jewelry that would make Mr. T. jealous. Nick had contacted his buyer to set up the meeting with Dimitri.

"Thanks for getting me out into the fresh air."

"No sweat but if I screw up Cragen will have me transferred faster than you can say merry Christmas."

"I won't let that happen." The white Cadillac escalade pulled up outside the bar. Amanda and Olivia were in place, each on either side of Nick. Fin was acting as Nick's body guard decked out in an all-black pin striped suit with an ak-47 assault rifle hung loosely around his shoulder and his department issued Sig Sauer in his hip holster. Dimitri walked into the bar and proceeded to a private area. NYPD S.W.A.T. was there for back up but hidden discreetly mixed in with the patrons in the bar. Nick was sweating profusely at the way Dimitri fawned all over Olivia. He had his attention on Amanda as well but seemed keen on Olivia. He asked that Olivia stand and remove her coat so he could check out the goods. Nick could tatse his transfer already as he came close to pissing his pants. Amanda rose seductively removing her coat.

"Why don't you come check out my wares first, she was just used so she's not as pure as me." Nick just breathed a sigh of relief. Dimitri fell for it and played with Amanda's hair ogling her. Fin stiffened tightening his hold on his weapon edging a little closer until Nick stilled him with his hand.

"How much for the blonde?"

"Twenty five grand." Nick offered up.

"Twenty five grand?" Dimitri said in his thick Russian accent eyeing Nick. "How sure can you be of this American whore?"

"She's the cream of the crop, just arrived yesterday from CA." Dimitri snapped his fingers and one of his body guards quickly gathered the cash handing it over in an envelope. Don Cragen watched through his binoculars from his perch across the street with the S.W.A.T. commander. The signal was when Nick took possession of the money after verifying it was cash tucking it into his suit pocket meant they would ambush from inside and out.

"Move in move in!" the commander screamed. Amanda pushed herself onto Olivia taking her down behind the bar then rose gun drawn. Nick and Fin were busy themselves fending off the thugs along with S.W.A.T. After all was said and done with no bloodshed, Dimitri was lead out in handcuffs with his body guards in tow cursing in his native language at the NYPD. Nick suffered a blow to his jaw from the butt of one of the henchmen's gun.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xo**

"I'm glad everyone's safe…but you." He looked squarely at Olivia. "Are stationary from here on out." Olivia could do nothing else but nod in agreement with him. Nick looked at her with an ice pack to his reddened cheek still dressed in his pimp's attire. That evening at Olivia's she chastised him for not doing the ice on ice off as they sat on the couch watching tv.

"Ohhhh my jaw is killing me." Nick closed his eyes placing his hand over his sore jaw riding out the pain.

"I'll get the Tylenol."

"You know Liv you're really good the way you lure men in."

"Thanks, I think." She frowned skeptically.

"What I mean is that I told Cragen you were the best of the best to use on this sting op."

"What would I do if it weren't for you in my corner?"

"Kiss me?" Olivia leaned over placing her lips on his, his hand sliding down her back.

"Ow ow ow." Nick cringed in pain. "Maybe we should wait on the thanks." She smiled patting his chest leaning back under the comfort of his arm.


	13. Chapter 13 Surprise Olivia!

**Muchos gracias for your kind reviews. Hope your seat belts are fastened?**

Nick opened up his in box and read the email from Amanda. He looked over at her nodding. Olivia busied herself with research and paperwork on current open cases. The squad was ready to surprise Olivia with a cake and dinner if they could just pry her away from her desk.

Nick texted Cragen.

_Ready._

Captain Cragen stood in his doorway. "Liv can I see you for a moment please?" She glanced at her partner in wonder and all he could do was lift his brows and shrug his shoulders back to her.

"Sure." She strode across the floor just a few feet from his office. Her baby bump was now more prominent as she was now entering her 4th month. "What's up?"

"St Francis just called they're in need of special services to talk to a young teen who is considering having an abortion and I thought of you because of the volunteer work you do."

"Captain they have their own crisis team why would they want an SVU detective?"

"Apparently Sister Peg before her untimely death praised you and your voluntary work you've done with counseling rape victims. Sister Mary is expecting you." Captain Cragen handed over her card. Olivia said her good nights to the team as she grabbed her purse and coat and left. Nick picked up his beverage shaking it then discarding it in the waste basket beside his desk.

"Liv you mind if I tag along I'd like to look into becoming a counselor myself for men who've been raped." Olivia stared at her partner for a moment.

"I think it's a great idea, let's go." The others with the help of the SVU support team headed upstairs to the lounge to set up.

"Captain I just hope this works and Nick can bring her back." Amanda said.

"Sister Mary is at a retreat, he'll be bringing her back." Cragen said with certainty, his hands tucked in the pocket of his trousers, turned on his heels and retreated back to this office.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xo**

"You really surprise me Nick."

"With what, wanting to help male victims through the trauma of rape?"

"I'm glad you're stepping up, Munch and Fin…I've worked them for a long time but neither one of them ever entertained the idea."

"What can I say, I'm different." He parked the car and they got out walking across the campus of St. Francis to the nunnery. Sister Ann answered the door. Showing her badge, Olivia introduced herself and Nick.

"Hi I'm Detective Olivia Benson this is my partner Detective Amaro, we're here to see Sister Mary."

"Oh." The Sister placed her hands over her heart looking alarmed not knowing the nature of the Detectives visit. "Well she's away is there something I can help you with? Is Sister Mary alright?"

"I'm sure she's fine, we're not here on a call Sister I apologize for alarming you; do you know when Sister Mary will be back?" Olivia asked already sensing something was not right with this picture.

"I'm so sorry detectives that you come out all this way for nothing. Sister Mary will be back next week perhaps then you can stop back by." Olivia was confused; her mouth was slightly ajar. Her Captain would never make a blunder like this she thought.

"Thank you Sister, we will." Nick said. The Sister smiled at them closing the door.

"Ok that was really strange." Olivia said sliding into the driver's side.

"Cragen just made a mistake." He said.

"Cragen doesn't make mistakes like that Nick." She looked at him with doubt in her eyes. "Drop you at the gym?"

"Ah no…I just remembered I left my keys in my drawer do you mind?"

"Go all the way back to the precinct? Nick I'm more than halfway to my place."

"My mom is coming over tonight to pick up clothes for donation and I want to leave a key for her."

"I thought your mother has keys after Maria moved out?"

"It'll just take a minute Liv then we can go home."

_Home…to their house. _

Olivia would like to feel 100% happy with that but having to fly way low under the radar with hers and Nick's relationship kept her true happiness at bay.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xo**

Olivia and Nick arrived back at the house. She decided to use the bathroom because she knew her bladder wouldn't make it all the way back to Brooklyn. He stayed a step behind her. Olivia tensed up walking into a darkened squad room.

"Where is everyone? And why are there no lights on?" She immediately put her hand on her gun.

"Surprise!" They all shouted from the rafters. Olivia looked up literally surprised. She placed her hand over her heart sucking in a breath.

"What!" She turned to Nick then looked up to all of them in the lounge. She was truly surprised. Nick stood with his hands on his waist smiling at her.

"Let's go up." He said putting his hand on her back. She looked at him funny.

"You knew about this didn't you? Keys left behind? You never put your keys in your desk drawer." Together they descended the stairs.

"Guilty as charged." Nick said surrendering his hands.

"My goodness what is all this?" Olivia said as she reached the top.

"We didn't want you to think we forgot about you." Amanda said handing her a card. Olivia fanned herself trying not to cry in front of her colleagues but it was no use. She paused before opening the card. She pursed her lips swallowing hard as she began to read it.

"I checked your baby register and saw that you got everything you asked for at your other shower so we took up a collection here…to help start Leo's college fund." Olivia was speechless as she wiped at her eyes.

"Thank you, thank you all so much."

"Alright let's eat because I'm starved." Fin said handing a plate to Olivia. "Well maybe we should let Munch go first." Sergeant Munch lowered his head looking over his glasses at his former partner.

"Oh my god look at this beautiful cake." She said still fanning her face with her paper plate. When they were cleaning up Olivia made sure her Captain was in earshot.

"Oh before you divvy up the cake I want to take a piece to Sister Mary next week." Captain Cragen laid a smile on her.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Olivia got the call she was hoping for but it was 3 weeks early. It was 4:12 a.m. and Hannah went into labor. She threw off the covers fumbling to turn on the light. Olivia cursed herself for not packing a bag knowing that Leo might make his grand entrance earlier than predicted? This was the fastest she's ever gotten dressed and put a bag together. She locked her gun in the safe box and placed it back on the top shelf in the closet. She grabbed her shield and kissed Nick who was thrilled in his sleepy stupor and told him she would touch base with him when she got to the hospital. All the preparations in a baby's arrival were overwhelming. She was glad she didn't wait until the last-minute to tune up the mustang, get 4 new tires put on and a full tank of gas to make the trip to Connecticut. She kept checking he rear view mirror at the infant seat in the back. It was empty now but it would be full on the drive home. Olivia couldn't contain her happiness.

**DON'T BLAME ME I WARNED YOU THAT BUMPS WERE AHEAD :(

***I'm on the schedule all weekend at Costco plus I have family over for Easter so I won't be posting another chapter until early next week. Thanks and Happy Easter for those who celebrate the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. :D


	14. Chapter 14 Over my dead body

****I apologize ahead of time for what your about to read but bear with me as we all go through this very tough time with Olivia. I promise my fic doesn't stay all depressing and heart breaking, it does become lighter and happier as the chapters go on and because I neglected to include Nick's recent discovery of his son in the beginning, I'm now including that part in light of what happens on Wednesday's episode :D**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxo**

When Olivia arrived she checked with the nurse at the desk as to what room Hannah Martin was in. The nurse led Olivia into the room. Her husband and three children were all there as well. Baby Leo arrived one hour before Olivia's arrival. She smiled and waved to the children as she advanced into the room. Bruce, Hannah's husband got up from the recliner holding his 5 year old son who was very sleepy. He offered his free hand to shake Olivia's.

"Hi I'm Bruce her husband, you are Olivia?" The emotion behind Olivia's eyes was evident. Her eyes pooled with water fast as her eyes darted around the room wondering where her son was.

"Yes, it's nice to finally meet you."

"Likewise." He said. "We were hoping the little guy would've held off until you got here but he literally arrived an hour ago." Just hearing this news made Olivia gush with emotion.

"How is he?" She made her way to the bed where Hannah was resting comfortably.

"Olivia." Hannah smiled extending her hand to take Olivia's. She bent over giving Hannah a kiss on her cheek.

"They just took him the N.I.C.U. but he's fine for being a little early."

"That's wonderful." Olivia said.

"Why don't you go see him?" She said.

"Mommy can I go with Olivia to see Leo too?"

"I want to go too!" Her other daughter interjected.

"Girls shhh, you can go later with you dad and me." The girls protested and pouted.

"But we haven't seen him yet and he's our baby brother."

"You will soon I promise."

"_Our baby brother__"_ struck Olivia as odd but she just chalked it up to the girls thinking that their mom carried this baby although it was for someone else so naturally they would connect the birth to having a new sibling.

"Ok I'm going to go see my son; I'll be back in a bit." The two women held hands until Olivia let go.

_My son_, she's waited to what has seemed like an eternity to finally say those words. The nurse stopped her as Olivia opened the door to the neonatal intensive care unit.

"I'm sorry mam only parents are allowed in here." The nurse said noticing Olivia was with child of her own.

"My son is Leo." She was scanning the incubators as fast as her eyes allowed. So many girl births she noticed with tiny pink hats.

"Do you have an id bracelet?" Olivia shook her head no. The nurse stared at her. "We don't have a boy in here by the name of Leo, are you sure he's in the n.i.c.u.? Olivia completely forgot to clue in the nurse. Surely she thought Hannah would have.

"Hannah Martin, she just delivered a baby boy about an hour ago; he's my son, she was my surrogate." Still the nurse looked at her like she was nuts. The other staff worker cradled a baby trying to calm them from a bout of gas, looking on.

"Mam can you wait outside for just a minute, I literally have no idea about a surrogacy birth this morning but I'm sure we'll get it all cleared up. I'll be right back." She nodded as she turned her attention back to all the newborns. _Where are you Leo? _Olivia peered through the glass trying to find the incubator that housed her son. Finally she knew she was right. She'd noticed the last name Martin and the time on the card that was taped on the outside of the glass box.

6:11 a.m. Olivia arrived at 7:30.

"Hi Leo welcome to the world sweet boy I'm your mom." She whispered as she rubbed her stomach. Hopefully soon she and Nick would know if Leo was going to be a big brother to his baby sister or brother. Her tears she could hold back no longer as she locked eyes on her baby. He had electro pads attached to his chest but he didn't look small at all. His tiny little mouth would open and close.

_He's yawning she thought to herself_.

Leo's tiny fists were balled up and sometimes he would move them close to his face and head and then stretch his small legs. Lucky for her there were boxes of tissues at the small sitting area behind her. She dabbed at her eyes staring joyfully at her son. The nurse placed a pacifier in his mouth. Olivia knew Nick would be at work by now so she texted him instead.

_He's here and he's beautiful and I can't wait to hold him_. _Call me later love you_.

Nick smiled as he read the text then he replied.

_Love you too Liv congrats. Any problems with being early?_

_No not that I've been told._

"Liv's a mom everyone."

"That's great!" Fin said smiling. "But he's early isn't he?"

"Fantastic! I'm so happy for her." Amanda added. Sergeant Munch was not in yet.

"Yeah but apparently he's healthy and strong, no problems so far." Nick walked into Captain Cragen's office.

"Cap'n, just heard from Liv, Leo's here and albeit early he's doing fine."

"How early is early?" the Captain asked.

"3 weeks."

"That's wonderful news, thanks Nick I'll give her a call later." It was late and he missed Olivia so he stayed way late at work instead of going to his house. He was clearing out his email and getting ready to call it a night when Cynthia walked in to the precinct with their son. Nick froze looking at them as he was laying the collar down on his coat.

"Hello Nick." She said. There was a long pause before Nick answered her.

"Cynthia." He said very surprised. The last contact he had with her was last spring and it did not go well when he tried in vain to be part of his son's life she coldly shut the door on that. Maria wasn't happy hearing the news that Nick had another child and it was never brought it up again since he told her Cynthia didn't want him involved and he wasn't going to challenge his rights to custody as the boy's father. Nick looked down at his son who held a firm grasp to his mother's hand. "Hello Umberto."

"Hello sir."

"Sir? I feel like I should be retired. You can call me Nick-ok, that alright with you?" Nick looked to his mother for her blessing. Cynthia nodded.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

The nurse returned with the head nurse. "Sorry about that, if you would please put a gown on I'll take you in now." Olivia smiled willingly following them in where she donned a gown, mask and gloves. Her heart beat faster now as she watched eagerly the nurse lift the top off the incubator. Her broad smile was hidden behind the allergen mask. She touched his tiny fingers sticking her index finger prying open his closed hand.

"Hi Leo I'm so happy to finally meet you." A tear trickled down her cheek only to get soaked up by her mask. After a while Olivia began to feel somewhat uneasy as she visited with her son and couldn't help but wonder why the head nurse stood close by as if she was keeping an eye on her.

Hannah was up walking the hall with her iv cart attached to her arm and her husband by her side. Olivia smiled as she came up on them.

"He's perfect. Are you on your way there now?"

"Yeah we thought we'd go and see him too."

"Where are the kids?"

"My mom came to get them and take them home. 3:30 this morning was quite early for all of them to be rousted out of their warm beds." Hannah told her.

"Right, well I'll just tag along and have another look at my son. There's nothing that can keep me away from him." Hannah and Bruce looked at one another, their smiles not convincing. The three were informed only two parents at a time were allowed in so Olivia watched from the window. She understood that Hannah carried this baby to almost full term but she was a little miffed that they went inside and didn't offer her first a second visit with the her son when they learned only two at a time.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Olivia learned that Leo although being born at 33 and ½ weeks had developed fully but would need to stay in the neonatal intensive care unit until he gained his proper weight of 6 lbs. He scored 5 out of 10 on his Apgar test which was not unheard of with preemies. Olivia had inquired about the vitamin K shot if Leo had it. Her pediatrician informed her she could have it done at his two month check-up but Hannah assured her it was done at birth. Leo would need to be put on a ventilator until his lungs became stronger. Premature babies born between 33 and 34 weeks are called moderately preterm babies weighing between 4 and 5 pounds at birth and measuring almost 20 inches long. These babies are getting much closer to the size of a baby born at full term. Their bones are fully formed, their fingernails come to the ends of their fingertips, and in boys the testicles are descending into the scrotum, however, the respiratory system doesn't finish developing until the last weeks of pregnancy, and antibodies are only starting to pass from mom to baby. Learning to eat may take the longest. The suck-swallow-breathe reflex is not well coordinated with preemies born a few weeks earlier than what is considered ful term at 36.

As Olivia prepared to leave that evening and check into a hotel nearby she had expressed her desire to stay in the hospital and didn't care if she had to sleep on an uncomfortable couch or chair but hospital policy forbid that because she was not considered the birth mother or immediate family. Hannah assured her that a nice hot shower, hot meal and a comfortable bed would do her body good and she could come back as early as 7:00 a.m. tomorrow.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

She called Nick after she took her shower and filled him in.

"So he's perfect huh, I never had any doubts."

"Oh really, well this morning when I woke you the first thing out of your mouth was oh my god Liv he's early."

"Well technically yes but still I had no worries I'm just so happy for you. Other than being over the moon how are YOU feeling?"

"I'm good, tired…still pregnant." She smiled hearing his laugh.

"Good, to be pregnant I mean."

They laughed together this time.

"Yeah I bet you're tired, it's been a very long day for you. So is my son kicking yet?"

"Nick I'm only 4 months it's way too early and what do you mean my son? What if it's a girl?"

"I'll love her just the same and she'll grow up to love the Yankees and Giants."

"Oy vey." Olivia said falling back on the bed against her pillows eliciting a hearty laugh from Nick.

"How long do you think Leo will be in the nicu?"

"I'm not sure a few weeks at least." He was quiet and Olivia took notice to that.

"You still there?"

"Yeah I'm still here."

"What's on your mind Nick." More silence fell over the conversation.

"Cynthia came by the precinct as I was leaving."

"And?" Olivia knew the answer to her own rhetorical question.

"She wants me to get to know Umberto." Olivia fell silent. Of course she wants Nick to have the relationship with his son after 9 years. It was just that she didn't want to have to share Nick's attention, now with Leo and their soon to be baby and now with his son by Cynthia. Olivia scolded herself for having such selfish thoughts but it was on her mind.

"Liv did you hear me?"

"I think that's wonderful Nick. That little boy is so lucky to have you as his father but what are Cynthia's real intentions?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean is she financially secure or is she coming to you because she wants an exorbitant amount of child support from you?"

"I can't believe you would say that. No she honestly wants my son to have a father. Liv…where did that come from?" She realized she had just over stepped her boundaries.

"I'm sorry Nick you're right." He pinched his eyes closed and hung his head.

"I'm not on rotation this weekend so I'll get my mom to watch Zara." He heard her yawn.

"Sounds good, oh and Nick can you bring me my sneakers and the pink bottle of perfume on my dresser?"

"Sure now you get some sleep mommy, I love you." Olivia chuckled.

"And I love you." She smiled and tapped the end call option on her phone.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Olivia was up way before her alarm sounded. Operating on roughly 4 hours of sleep, she washed up, dressed and left. She got a cup of energy and a pastry in the hotel lobby then headed to the hospital. She didn't even bother going to the room to see Hannah because Leo was the first person she wanted to see this beautiful chilly autumn morning.

"Good morning." Olivia said spying them leaning against the window looking in.

"Good morning Olivia how are you, well rested I hope?" Hannah asked. Olivia wrinkled her nose.

"Eh didn't sleep much just too excited." Bruce mustered a lazy smile at Olivia then draped his arm over his wife's shoulder looking at her. His wife just continued to stare into the nicu. Olivia felt something was off or maybe they just weren't morning people.

"Bruce when you get a chance my lawyer asked me to get the birth certificate so I can fax him a copy of it."

"Sure I'll get that to you today." At 7:30 the nicu would open to parents so Olivia, Hannah and Bruce waited the half hour.

"Are you going to stay in Connecticut the whole time or commute?" Hannah asked looking at Olivia smooth her stomach horizontally.

"I've already started my maternity leave so I'll be here until Leo's ready to go home with me." Hannah smiled then turned her attention back to the window. Olivia was wondering or even waiting for that matter if they would have offered her to stay at their home to save on expenses. The nurse came over and unlocked the doors.

"If you don't mind I'd like to go in first." Olivia said.

"Oh absolutely, we'll wait out here." Hannah said. Visitor's for the Martin's started to stream in by the hour so Olivia loved having more time in the nicu with her baby. She sat for hours soothing his head and rubbing his arms, whispering lullaby's to him.

"Every day is another day you're closer to coming home. I can't wait for your baby sister or brother to get here so you two can play and grow up together and be the best of friends." Olivia didn't want to give up her spot to the Martins but they brought in family so she kissed her finger touching Leo's nose getting up saying good bye to her son.

"See you soon my love." That evening as she prepared to leave she reminded Bruce once more for the birth certificate. When he handed it over to her she was shocked at what she saw.

"What in the hell is going on here, his name is not Joshua and why are you two listed as the parents on my baby's birth certificate?" Her tone was not gentle. Brue looked at his wife who in turn looked at him. He walked over and closed the door to the room.

"You two better start talking and fast." She hissed.

"Olivia we don't know how to say this."

"You're not keeping my baby. I paid you! We have a legal binding contract!"

"Olivia please we're sorry we didn't mean for this to happen. I carried him we have rights and I'm still his biological mother." Hannah looked at her almost in tears.

"You signed away your rights when you agreed to be my surrogate!"

"Yes I know Olivia but as his mother I still have a right to change my mind."

"No you don't. I can't believe you! How can you do this to me? Invite me into your home pretend to be my friend, throw me the elaborate baby shower…for what? Only to stab me in the back and try to keep my baby as your own?" Olivia moved closer to the bed until her husband stepped between the two women.

"Olivia I think you should go now. Our lawyer is getting a restraining order against you as we speak. You won't be allowed near us or the baby." Bruce said sternly. Olivia thought if only she had brought her service revolver she would have shot this mother fucker right between the eyes. Any mother would kill with her bare hands when it comes to protecting their child. She was seething now. "Please try to understand Olivia the baby needs two parents to raise him."

"His name is Leo not Joshua and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you take my son away from me. You have one hell of a nerve and lady and let me tell you something, you have no idea who you just came up against!"

"Don't threaten us we have more resources at our disposal than you Olivia now please go before we call security." Hannah told her surprisingly staying calm.

"Allow me." Olivia said. Seconds later a nurse showed up. She summoned her supervisor when it was evident she could not resolve this issue.

"Ok Ms. Benson try to calm down, I know you're very upset right now. Can you come outside with me so we can talk in private? Ms. Benson I'm sorry this happening to you but the hospital can't get involved. Mrs. Martin is the birth mother and we have to follow the law. We were not informed of your arrangement with the Martins. I'm sorry I wish there was something I could do. You're not the first person I've seen this happen to. Have you called your lawyer?" Olivia nodded yes sobbing. Her nose was red and her eyes were nonstop water works. The nurse reached for the box of tissues then put her arm around her and led her to a private area.

Nick was at home when his phone rang. He stood in front of his refrigerator deciding what to eat only to give up and pull out a take-out menu. It was Olivia number but her name wasn't displayed as it usually is.

"Amaro."

"Nick." Olivia sounded hysterical. She was sitting in her car in the hospital parking lot.

"Liv what's wrong?" He could hear her choke back on her sobs. "Liv talk to me is it Leo?" She was barely audible. "Sweetie I can't understand you please take a breath then tell me." Her words were hard to decipher between gasps of air.

"They—are—trying-to—keep—my-baby."

"What! They can't so that." Nick was furious now.

"Did you call your lawyer?" He could have smacked himself with the phone.

"Of course you did. Ok Liv listen to me I'm coming up there." His heart was in his stomach listening to her cry uncontrollably. She lowered her head to the steering wheel holding her stomach with her hands, the phone falling to the floor board.

"Liv…Liv where are you? FUCK!" He screamed. Olivia opened the car door and vomited. He called his Captain.

"Captain something awful has gone wrong for Olivia do I have permission to take the squad car across state line?"

"What do you mean gone wrong Nick?"

"The surrogate mother has decided to keep the baby and Liv is just beside herself. I'm worried for her Captain."

"Your gun stays, swing by and pick me up."


	15. Chapter 15 The temporary decision

****I apologize ahead of time for what your about to read but bear with me as we all go through this very tough time with Olivia. I promise my fic doesn't stay all depressing and heart breaking, it does become lighter and happier as the chapters go on and because I neglected to include Nick's recent discovery of his son in the beginning, I'm now including that part in light of what happens on Wednesday's episode :D**

"Nick slow it down a little we don't need to be pulled over. We don't have any jurisdiction to be on a call and believe me when I tell you this…the Connecticut State Police are nothing short of the Gestapo if we are pulled over." Nick obeyed his Captain and lightened up on the accelerator. Their drive took less than the 3 hours and 15 minutes it took Olivia and she even adhered to all posted speed limits. Nick almost slipped up when he noticed her car in the hospital lot and was about to speak.

"There, over there's her car." The Captain said. Nick was close to laying down suspicion of his and Olivia's relationship, if his Captain had any.

"Mustang huh? Not a bad choice for a muscle car." _Keep it together you jerk _Nick scolded himself. They both exited quickly walking fast to the entrance to meet up with Olivia.

"We're here where are you?" Cragen asked. She excused herself from her lawyer to meet them. They both rushed to her side when they saw her coming into view.

"Thanks for coming." Her eyes and nose, a dead giveaway from bouts of crying. Nick wanted so bad to wrap his arms around her and it took every ounce of restraint to hold back. Her Captain gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze only to have Olivia look at him and lean into him. He found his arms supporting her and comforting her.

"It'll be alright Olivia what did your lawyer say?" She sniffed and sobbed rubbing underneath her nostrils with the used tissue.

"Their lawyer has filed an emergency injunction so we'll have a hearing in the morning and if the ju-" Just then Olivia's lawyer came from the room. Olivia was about to introduce him but instead he took the lead.

"Hi I'm David Sinclair how do you do?"

"Could be better Mr. Sinclair could be better." He extended his hand. "I'm Donald Cragen, her Captain, this is Detective Amaro, her partner." Mr. Sinclair next shook hands with Nick.

"Sorry to be meeting you both under these circumstances."

"How in the hell can this happen?" Nick was agitated.

"Well as I was telling Olivia when we met last spring that these surrogacy agreements are not 100% fool proof and there can be a last minute snag and unfortunately for her…" Her lawyer gently touched her arm as she stood with her arms folded feeling numb. "We've come to that snag."

"What's the next step then?" Cragen asked.

"Uh not sure how much Olivia filled you in but the family does have a restraining order against her."

"Seems pretty ass backwards don't you think so Mr. Sinclair?"

"Nick." With large dark eyes, the Captain halted his young detective. The attorney gave Nick his full attentiuon.

"Yes I do and I understand your concern Mr. Amaro but it's going to be up to the Connecticut Family Court to unravel this one."

"What are her chances?"

"Mrs. Martin is the biological mother and albeit that she signed a legal document it doesn't mean she terminates her rights as the legal parent. It's almost the same with domestic and foreign adoptions. The system allows the mother a certain amount of time for the biological mother to have prove that she has rights to the child and as hurtful as it is to people like Olivia who are trying to adopt or go privately to have a child."

"With all due respect counselor you're not telling us anything reassuring her that she'sto going get her son back."

"I know but I expect for the judge to rule in the Martin's favor tomorrow morning thus giving us the green light for a court date with CFCS."

"Sorry counselor not following your acronym CFCS?" Cragen added.

"Sorry, Connecticut Family Court System."

"That could take months the way the courts system moves nowadays." The Captain added.

"Ehhh the docket moves pretty fast and I'm going to argue as strenuously as I can without being held in contempt that the earlier the better."

"What's your experience on these rulings counselor?" Don asked.

"To be honest with you Captain Cragen I haven't had to defend many clients with surrogacy decisions so that's why I need to be prepared to win this for Olivia but what I can tell you is that the last two decisions that hit the papers here favored the non-biological parents."

"Well that's somewhat comforting." Cragen said. Nick looked at Olivia with the heaviest of eyes. She remained with her arms crossed staring at the floor.

"So if you'll excuse me I need to get back to my office so I can prepare for morning."

"Are we allowed to speak on Liv's behalf tomorrow to help bolster her case?"

"Normally the judge doesn't allow for that because it's a short hearing probably will last all of 10 minutes but we'll certainly try."

"Thanks." Nick said shaking his hand again.

"Yes thank you Mr. Sinclair." Captain Cragen said.

"You're welcome." Olivia's lawyer turned his attention to her. "Olivia I know this hit you like a speeding train as it did me too but try to get some rest tonight or at best try to relax for your own health and that of this baby ok? I'll see you in the morning." He removed hi hand from her shoulder giving her one long last look before heading off. Olivia mumbled something inaudible nodding her head.

"Come on Liv were taking you back to your hotel." Nick gently took her by the elbow leading her out. Nick and the Captain got a room on the same floor as her and they gathered in her room to talk and provide comfort. Her answers sadly were short and robotic.

"Olivia you sure you don't want to eat just a little something?" Nick asked.

"No my stomach can't handle it right now it'll just come up later." She told them. Nick didn't want to leave her but after a while he and the Captain retired to their room.

He texted her later. W_ish I was with you right now I can't stand not being able to comfort you. I love you._

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Next morning they knocked on her door 90 minutes before Olivia was due in court. "I'll meet you downstairs I just need to finish up." Nick thought despite her world having just been turned upside down in less than 24 hours she still looked beautiful as she made her way into the atrium for breakfast. Her perfume was a dead giveaway, the same as it is when she walks into the squad room.

"Morning." He said emitting a small smile, doing his best to try and keep her spirits up.

"Morning," she replied even toned. Olivia looked across the room at Captain Cragen serving himself at the buffet as she took her seat. Nick had already dug into his meal when he realized there was no food or a beverage in front of her. He wiped his mouth with his napkin then set it down; pushing back his chair he stood up.

"You want coffee, tea, some water?" She played with her flatware staring down at the trio. Her chin rested on the heel of her hand, her eyes followed his movement.

"Nick, please sit." She gestured to him. He kept his gaze on her as he sat back down slowly.

"Thank you but I can get my own." Nick saw a glimpse of a smile from her. Right now he would take anything from her.

"Sure. How do you feel, did you sleep at all?"

"A little, you?" she asked making eye contact with him.

"Tossed and turned…Cragen snores." Another quaint smile from her. The Captain returned with his breakfast.

"Good morning Olivia how are you feeling?" She tucked her lips in giving him a so-so look.

"You going to eat?" If she didn't get up and get something to eat either Nick or Cragen or both of them would have the chef bring out a plate for her.

"Yeah in a minute." Nick and the Captain glanced at one another while Olivia stared down at the table.

"Liv we're going to win this." He placed his hand over top of hers.

"I'm hanging on to your vote of confidence."

"Good eggs," Captain Cragen said not slowing down at all while eating. Nick busied himself sipping his coffee and nibbling at his food trying not to be too conspicuous looking at Olivia as she finally decided to get up and make herself a plate.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

They arrived first before her attorney and waited on the bench for him to show. The Martins and their counsel appeared shortly after. She walked as any mother would after giving birth, slow and slightly bow legged. It took every ounce of restraint from Nick not to get up and punch their lights out. Twenty minutes later Olivia's lawyer Mr. Sinclair showed. He greeted them and then they all went in taking their seats in their respected places. The judge made her entrance fashionably late.

"Good morning everyone." The judge addressed them looking over her motions submitted by both sides. The lawyers retorted with a morning greeting. "Mr. Sinclair it's always a pleasure but I really didn't think I would see you before me again."

"Thank you your honor, no I surely didn't plan on being here but as always it's also a pleasure." After she finished reading what she needed to, she lowered her glasses folding her hands in front of her.

"Adoption, natural birth or having children through whatever means necessary is truly a blessing. She paused when she looked at Olivia, who stood behind the divider, her eyes intently on the judge. She took a long look at Olivia's condition and offered a small smile.

"My ruling is not a final one, it is only an injunction hearing, and the first of what could be, many stepping stones in deciding the custody of the child." The judge averted her gaze at Hannah and her husband. "Mrs. Martin I only hope that you deeply understand what couples go through or as in Ms. Benson's case a single parent, the financial means involved, the stress, the wanting to begin a loving and joyful relationship with a child and when women agree to be an egg donor or surrogate or both, that they would honor in their heart and mind the legal binding agreement between both parties and not have this change of heart due to unwanted duress which I don't believe is the case here but unfortunately the law is the law and it is clearly defined that a child born to a biological parent is theirs until death. In the case of Benson vs. Martin." The judge looked over at Olivia again, "Ms. Benson, being of sound mind and body to love and raise this child as her own is requesting of the court to award her full physical and sole custody of the baby in question. Mr. and Mrs. Martin with Mrs. Martin being the child's biological mother is seeking the same request." The judge removed her eye ware taking her time. "My ruling is as goes. I'm awarding temporary custody of Joshua Martin to Hannah and Bruce Martin." Olivia droped her head in her hands hearing the decision. Nick stepped up to the divider putting his hand on her shoulder with a very long face remembering his own day in court. Her Captain looked on sadly. Olivia's lawyer looked despondent but knew and warned her yesterday that the judge would rule in the Martin's favor. "This court is adjourned." The pounding of the judge's gavel shook Olivia as her hands came away from her face and she turned back slowly facing Nick, her state of upset transparent. He smoothed her arm but she would not look at him.

"Come on I'm taking you out of here." Nick told her. Don looked on as did her lawyer.

"I expected this and the way judge Bell left the bench in a hurry just tells me clearly she sided with Olivia in her heart and mind but she also has to follow the law…unfortunately."

"Ok so now you file your appeal?" Cragen asked.

"Yes I'm going across the street to do just that as soon as I finish talking with Olivia. The judge just gave me my argument to win this on appeal and Olivia can finally take her little boy home. Excuse Captain I need to call my secretary and have her get on something asap. Captain Cragen lightly slapped Mr. Sinclair on his shoulder offering his other hand to him. They shook then the Olivia's attorney pulled out his cell phone and made his call as Don left the courtroom. Nick and Olivia were side by side on the bench outside.

"I can't believe this is happening, why?" Her hand was firmly placed underneath her stomach supporting her baby. Nick held her other hand keeping a careful watch on the doors.

"It's cruel and mean spirited Liv and she's not going to get away with it." She dabbed at her eyes and Nick removed his hand when they saw the large double doors swing open. They walked over to where Olivia and Nick sat.

"Gentleman I need a moment with my client." Nick got up gesturing for them to leave.

"Olivia do you trust me?" She was slow to make eye contact with her lawyer. She sighed heavily.

"Yes."

"Good because next step is filing our appeal with the court. Olivia I want you to go back to NY and concentrate on this baby you're carrying. This was a major blow to you and I'm so sorry. Having a baby should be easier than this."

"Yeah! She told him rolling her eyes. "How long before we get a new court date?"

"As soon as possible." Her lawyer added.

_As soon as possible, why not now? She thought angrily._

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Olivia checked out of her hotel.

"Captain I'm going to drive back with Liv."

"Good idea. This is not over Liv." Captain Cragen touched her shoulder.

"I know I just wish it was." Olivia wasn't much conversation on the drive back to the city. Nick glanced over at her as she leaned her head against the passenger window. He laced his fingers with hers but her grip was very loose. She actually dozed off for a while.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Olivia sat on the edge of her side of the bed half dressed. Her pants lay draped over the bench at the end of her bed. Her earrings were removed and tucked tightly in her palm. She fumbled with her watch trying to unlatch it from her wrist. Nick came and sat beside her.

"Liv I know it didn't go as planned and I wish yesterday never had happened but I just know in my heart he's going to be ours soon even if the law agreed with her today. You remember that night when you told me you were pregnant, I was so happy. We didn't plan it but it just happened and soon we were going to be parents to a boy named Leo and we have Zara, a family we never imagined could happen in such short time.

"How does someone do this and still look at themselves in the mirror the next day?" She rose abruptly and started for the bathroom when he reached for her hand."

"Don't give up Liv." She looked at his hold on her; he released his hand from hers.

"I'm not!" He watched her walk away. Olivia slammed the bathroom door. After about 20 minutes he knuckled lightly on the door.

"I'll be out a minute."

He wasn't asleep when she did finally crawl into bed. He had laid in the dark staring at the ceiling waiting for her. She lay on her side facing away from him. Finally he rolled over scooting closer to her. He placed his arm across her touching her belly. Nick heard and felt her sobs closing his eyes awash in her pain. He kissed the back of her head. She squeezed his hand then rolled over into the safety of his arms tucking her face into the crook of his neck.

"I love you Liv."

"I love you too."


	16. Chapter 16 Moving on one step at a time

****I apologize ahead of time for what your about to read but bear with me as we all go through this very tough time with Olivia. I promise my fic doesn't stay all depressing and heart breaking, it does become lighter and happier as the chapters go on and because I neglected to include Nick's recent discovery of his son in the beginning, I'm now including that part in light of what happens on Wednesday's episode :D**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Two weeks had passed since the harrowing events in Connecticut. Olivia's coworkers sympathized with her and offered their support. Nick has been more attentive to Olivia than ever before and she's been showing some signs of trying to put it behind her and focus on her job. Her lawyer had called a few days afterwards with news of their court date in January; Olivia also received her copy of the letter in the mail. It's been business as usual at the precinct with new cases reported almost daily not really giving the detectives much of a break. When Nick looked at his phone and saw it was Maria calling, he was in between getting up and taking the call in private so he decided to stay and take the call at his desk.

"Maria that's wonderful news, why didn't you say anything last week?" Some of the eyes in the squad room were on Nick trying not to pay any mind to his conversation even though he was trying his best to be discreet. "I'm happy for you." He said on learning the news they had caught all her cancer and she was now in remission. "I'm going to take the Amtrak down Friday and I'll pick her up from school." From his expression you could tell he was not in agreement with what she was saying on the other end. "She gets out of school at 3:30 how would that make me late in picking her up?" Nick was becoming exasperated by more of his facial contortions that didn't go unnoticed by the others. "Ok you know what Maria, my travel plans are final, if I can't be there to pick her up from school I'll let you know but I don't anticipate a problem." His call ended with her and Nick felt as if he had just had a root canal.

"I'm sorry I wasn't eavesdropping but that is great news Nick." Olivia said nodding with a smile.

"Yeah it's been a rough ride for her." he said looking at his phone's screen, then putting it away. He watched her get up with a binder in her hand, Fin watched her too and followed.

"Hey Liv, we haven't had much time to talk lately but I wanted you to know that I'm here for you for whatever." She tweaked a smile at him depositing her dollar into the soda machine selecting a bottle of water.

"Thanks Fin I appreciate that." She gave his arm a friendly pat.

"It probably was better Cragen went with Nick because they would have had to lock me up for murder." Olivia looked at him wanting to say something but decided against it. Silence fell upon them both feeling somewhat awkward.

"So?" She furrowed her brows as she twisted the cap off.

"So…what?" she said taking a drink.

"Your baby, have you found out what you're having?"

"No not yet, next week is my check up so hopefully I'll have news then. Sorry Fin I've got to get downstairs to evidence control."

"Yeah ok." He nodded watching her go…When she returned Fin and Amanda had gone out on a call. Nick was putting on his coat when he saw her coming.

"What's up?" she asked coming up to him. He hesitated in saying something.

"Is it a call?" He looked at her feeling reserved. "Nick whatever it is I can handle it." He nodded with hesitation.

"A baby, six months old, there's evidence of sodomy, and sexual trauma." Olivia turned her head away, the look of disgust on her face was clear. She threw down the brown folder on her desk shaking her head. Nick finished putting on his jacket, continued to look at her before turning away and heading out.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

On his way back to the precinct he called Cynthia. "Thanks I appreciate you letting me take him tomorrow night."

"His bedtime is 9:00 and it usually takes him a while to settle down after we've been out on a school night."

"No problem I'll have him home no later than 8:00 and Cynthia how long do you plan on keeping the truth from him?"

"Nick don't push me, I told you he's not ready to know that right now." Cynthia could hear the disagreement in his voice. "We'll see you Thursday ok?"

"Yeah Thursday." He had a deadpan look on his face as Olivia looked up when he walked in.

"Please tell me that you all caught the prick that did this?" Rollins and Tutuola were still out on a call and Captain Cragen was in his office with the blinds drawn in a meeting.

"It's nothing to do with the case. Cynthia is letting me see Gil Thursday but she still won't tell him I'm his father." Olivia understood Cynthia's point and was happy that she had a change of heart and wanted her son to get to know Nick.

"Nick just give her some time she'll come around." He lowered his brows at her, his eyes resembling a hooked fish.

"Nine years isn't enough time to tell your son who most likely has asked about me?"

"Whoa wait…all I'm saying is don't rush her. It was a lot to learn for both of you after the trial." Nick expelled his breath taking his seat keeping his gaze on her.

"So what did you find out at the hospital?"

"Baby didn't make it, the mother swears she had no knowledge of what her boyfriend had been doing to their daughter, Fin and Rollins are getting a search warrant now to toss the boyfriends place. I can't believe it Liv, he put his dead baby in his girlfriends bed after sodomizing her. Sick bastard!"

"Sadly the world's full of em." Her desk top phone rang interrupting their conversation. "Benson. We're on our way." Nick looked across his desk at Olivia wide eyed.

"Warner needs to see us now."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"When I cracked your vic I found traces of metal fragments in her digestive track which made me explore further into her rectum and I found these." Doctor Melinda Warner, M.E. held up 6 vials of cocaine and what was left of a diamond wedding band. Nick and Olivia first looked at one another in wonderment then began to piece the missing part of the case together.

"He was still using her to move his shipment even after he knew she was a snitch before he killed her." Nick said.

"There's her wedding ring that belonged on her severed finger we found." Olivia said. "What happened to it?"

"The cyanide he poured down her throat started dissolving the gold. Normally gold won't dissolve except in cyanide and nitro hydrochloric acid and the vials were inserted." "Yeah we get that Melinda." Olivia told her not needing any further explanation.

"When her mafia lover found out she wasn't leaving her husband he was sending a message" Nick added…"the husband is next." Olivia and Nick said over top of one another.

"And that's why it's called Russian roulette." Melinda said covering the victim back up."

"I'm going to call the husband and have a unit sit on the house; I just hope I'm not too late." Nick said as he hurried out. Olivia stood there astounded. Doc Warner studied Olivia for a moment.

"Liv you ok?" Olivia rubbed circles to the side of her stomach.

"Yeah…maybe it's just something I ate."

"Do you know the sex yet?"

"Hopefully next week. He or she was not cooperative at my last visit."

"They never are." Melinda said laughing. "I didn't know with my daughter until my 7th month. It drove us bonkers wanting to know." Olivia smiled looking down at her almost perfectly round belly.

"You believe in myths?"

"Like if I'm round and high it's a girl or oval and low it's a boy?" Doc Warner shook her head yes.

"I think I know already."

"We have that intuition that men will never understand." The doc said. Olivia started to be on her way when doc Warner spoke up.

"Olivia, I was really sorry when I heard." Her eyes fell to the floor for a moment.

"Nick?"

"No, Fin, but it's only because I pressed him. Hope you don't mind. You're brothers in blue hold value to your privacy and look out for you."

"I know they do and no Melinda I don't mind. With being on desk duty I don't get much chance to circulate. I really lucked out working with a team like them."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Now that right there is the best burrito you'll ever eat north of Miami." Nick told his son as they ate dinner in a quaint little mom and pop restaurant in Washington Heights.

"If it's the best Uncle Nick then why didn't you get one?" Nick was caught.

"Well…I've…eaten the burrito's here I just happen to love their Cuban sandwiches." Gil smiled at him taking a huge bite out of his burrito. Nick gave him a wink.

"So did you like the movie?"

"Yeah it was really cool how that car just changed shapes and saved those kids."

"Yeah that was pretty cool."

"But cars really don't do that Uncle Nick, it's all just make believe." Nick smiled at his son as he spooned rice into his mouth. He dropped Gil off as he said right at 8 p.m.

"I'm glad you a good time mijo now it's time to get ready for bed tomorrow's school."

"Good night Uncle Nick, thanks again for taking me, I had a really good time."

"You're welcome Gil I had a nice time too. Maybe next week we can catch a hockey game, you like Hockey?"

"I've never been but I'm sure I'd like it."

"Ok we'll make plans to go the Garden, good night."

"Good night Nick thanks." Cynthia was just about to close the door when she pulled it back open and called his name.

"Think you can by a little early next week?"

"Sure but why?" He looked puzzled.

"I think there's something you need to talk to your son about man to man." Nick smiled hearing this news.

"You sure?"

"Yes." His lips curled into a smile as he stepped away.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Olivia heard his keys in the door. Nick found her sitting in the nursery, slowly rocking, deep in thought. "Hey you, you ok?" he said from the doorway.

"Yeah. She reached up and put her journal on top of the dresser. "I was just thinking that when we find out what we're having we'll know if we have to do more painting." Nick started into the room.

"I'll paint the other room or we can hire someone. I'm taking care of personal business next week at 9:30."

"I can go and I'll call you when I'm done. Both of us out at the same time makes me a little nervous." He leaned over her placing his hands on the arms of the rocking chair bringing Olivia to a stop.

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away; I will be there with you and our baby no matter what." He pressed his lips to her stomach then brought his lips to hers and gave her a tender kiss.

"Ok." Her smile was weak as she met his gaze.

"I love you."

"I know I love you too." She smiled a little more.

"That's better." Nick told her. "What's that?" he asked looking at the folded piece of paper in her hands. She unfolded it.

"Just some names I've been rolling around in my mind." Nick took the paper from her.

"Jude, I like that, Julian?..eh." He flip flopped his hand. "Eli after Eli Manning?" Olivia rolled her eyes at his Nick's attributes to everything sports.

"Sorry I'm not naming my kid after a quarterback for the New York Giants."

"Liv I'm impressed you know who he is."

"Well without constant reminders every Monday morning with you, Amanda and Fin rehashing the game I would never now." He laughed kissing her again.

"Scarlett, I'm glad you kept that one I like it. Hmm Mina…that's a new one, I don't know, jury stills out that one. Now Sasha I like."

"Did you have a good time with Gil?"

"Yeah we did. I'm going take him to a Rangers game next week."

"Oh good he'll like that."

Olivia started to get up and Nick helped her to her feet. She placed her hands on the small of her back arching backwards and forwards.

"Back hurt?"

"Yeah."

"Come on I'll give you a back rub?"

"Will you?"

"Of course."

"Well my feet hurt too." Nick smirked at her leading her by the hand to the bedroom.

"Before I start is there anything else that hurts?"

"My everything hurts." He tucked her hair behind her ears leaning forward planting a kiss on her forehead.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

The squad was called to a hostage situation at a local bank where there were children being held. It had been a 4 hour standoff so far. Four people were dead so far two adults and two children. Hostage situations were always the most intense because you never underestimate the gunman. Olivia listened to the portable because she wanted to be clued in every second to what was going on. Not just for her fellow officers but she worried for Nick's safety. When she heard the shout "officer down officer down!" she was beside herself. She immediately rushed to the hospital where he was taken. When Amanda filled her in that it was only a surface wound Olivia felt relieved her partner wasn't dead knowing that the gunman could have aimed for his head. She needled him for not taking his own safety first.

"Alright well I'll leave you to him, warning…he's not very good at being injured." Olivia looked at Amanda thanking her before going in.

"Vest or no vest he could of still killed you!"

"But he didn't Liv, I'm alright just very sore." She touched gingerly the area where the bullet penetrated his vest and he winced. He gazed at her noticing her worry. Nick placed his hand on her cheek as she wrapped her hand around his wrist. Cragen looked on from the entrance.

***Keep the faith with Liv, Leo and the Martins. Believe you me I felt your pain with your reviews. It wasn't easy writing it. You all rock!**


	17. Chapter 17Sweating it out & it's a girl

****I apologize ahead of time for what your about to read but bear with me as we all go through this very tough time with Olivia. I promise my fic doesn't stay all depressing and heart breaking, it does become lighter and happier as the chapters go on and because I neglected to include Nick's recent discovery of his son in the beginning, I'm now including that part in light of what happens on Wednesday's episode :D**

"Hey Cap'n" Nick said removing his hand from her cheek as Cragen entered the exam room. Olivia with her back to the captain removed her hand quickly from around Nick's wrist.

"How you feeling?" Don looked on as he watched Nick wince in pain putting on his dress shirt.

"Like a million bucks."

"That's what happens when you play hero instead of a smart detective." Olivia said

"I'm glad you're ok but you just threw all your tactile training out the window."

"Captain I had a clear take, I'm fine, really…the doc has cleared me."

"This time, what about the next? Are you prepared to orphan your daughter and son?" Nick let his captain's words resonate as he locked eyes with him feeling the disapproval. Cragen gave them both a look before turning and leaving. Olivia looked at Nick then left him to finish getting dressed following her captain close behind.

"You're partner can't always be the hero Liv."

"He knows that and you know as well as I do when the adrenaline's pumping especially when there are children involved." She said coming to Nick's defense.

"Does he?"

"I always find the partners who manage to get shot." She said as they exited the emergency room lobby. Captain Cragen looked at his senior detective then stepped off the curb leaving her standing there watching him go. He thought as he sat in his car. He wasn't sure what to make of the intimate moment between his two detectives. Was it because they both got caught up in an emotional moment as cops do or was it just Olivia being concerned over this partner being shot? What was Nick's reason? Loneliness or was it just his nurturing way to calm his pregnant partner down?

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Nick arrived at Cynthia's and she had made dinner for all of them before Nick and Gil headed out to the hockey game. She busied herself in the kitchen while he had his man to man talk with his son in the living room.

"Gil, 9 years ago I was working undercover to catch the bad guys that were doing some real bad things and I had to arrest your Uncle for doing a lot of that bad stuff and I met your mom while I was working undercover because I knew your Uncle. Well, your mom and me…we really liked each other but I couldn't tell her I was the police and about to arrest her brother. We grew really close and I fell in love with her, I even wanted to marry her. And then your mom, see, she got pregnant with you and when she found out I was a police officer and your Uncle had to go to jail, well she wasn't too happy with me so she left me and she went and had you. Gil, I'm your father." The little boy's expression was stoic as he processed all this.

"If you knew, then why didn't you come for us?"

"I didn't know and I tried to look for your mom after my work was done but she was gone and after I saw your mom again after all this time it was then when I found out you were my son."

"So what does that mean for all of us?"

"Nothings going to change you'll still live here with your mom and you and me… will continue to get to know one another, do fun things. Gil was quiet as he looked down. "Look Gil I understand if you're angry right now and if you want me to go I'll go." They were sitting close on the couch when he brought his head up and looked at Nick then rushed into his arms hugging him tight. Nick reciprocated and smiled contently as he held his son. Cynthia looked on from the kitchen happy, knowing she made the right choice. Nick was sorta taken aback with the next questioned posed to him.

"Do you still love my mom?" Nick knew this was going to be hard.

"Mijo that's not fair to ask Nick and it's not polite." His mother said coming into the living room.

"It's alright he's entitled to the truth." Cynthia paused before going back into the kitchen.

"I won't lie to you Gil it was hard not knowing what happened to your mom but my job was done and I had to get back so a few years later I met another lady and I got married and we have a little girl named Zara, she's 6 years old soon to be 7."

"I have "a sister really?"

"Yes you do and you'll meet her real soon."

"That's way cool I can't wait…but wait why isn't she here, she doesn't like sports huh? She likes girl stuff?"

"Nah sports are not her favorite and yeah she likes girl things. Her mom and I are separated and Zara lives with both her mom and me. I see her on the weekends."

"Why?"

"Things didn't work out with her mom and me and she moved to Washington, D.C. where her job is."

"Wow sorry Uncl-"

"It's alright Gil you can call me Uncle Nick until you're ready."

"Ok dinner's ready." Cynthia called from the kitchen.

"Mmm smells wonderful." Nick said rubbing his hands together.

"My mom cooks really good you're in for a treat." Cynthia smiled at her son's candidness. Nick was very happy Gil enjoyed the hockey game as he looked over at him several times when he was either yelling at the opposition or cheering on the home team.

It was 10:00 when they finally made their way out of Madison Square Garden and hailed a cab. He walked Gil up to his door and said goodnight.

"He probably won't eat for a day or two." Nick said as Cynthia met them at the door. She was puzzled by Nick's comment.

"Thanks Nick I had a great time."

"I'm glad, me too." Nick said his good byes as they went inside.

He tried to be as quiet as a church mouse but she stirred as he passed by the bed on his way into the bathroom. "Hey how was your evening?"

"I'm sorry Liv I didn't think you'd be awake it's late." She sat up yawning turning on the lamp. Nick reached for his phone in his front pocket.

"We had a good time; here take a look at this."

"Aww that's nice." He really enjoyed tonight by the look on his face."

"HE DID Liv and that kid can eat." We had dinner at his house and we weren't even into the first period of the game when he wanted popcorn and I'm talking a tub not one of those small boxes but a large tub and a trash can sized soda." He showed her the size by expanding his hands.

"You had dinner at Cynthia's?" A pang of jealousy crept up out of nowhere. Cynthia wasn't aware of her and Nick's relationship and maybe this woman would try to rekindle her relationship with Nick later on. Olivia second guessed herself.

"Yeah, why?"

"No reason I just thought you guys would eat there."

"With those prices, I don't know how families do it. About a $100.00 bucks to feed a family of four at an event there and the seats pretty much set me back a paycheck."

"I'm glad you had a great time tonight hun so come to bed."

"I'm a little keyed up so I'll be in after I watch the news." Nick leaned down and planted a kiss on her lips. She watched him walk out feeling morose.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"How was father son time last night?" Fin asked.

"It was good I think I've converted him to a ranger's fan."

"That's good Nick that's real good."

"Yeah." Captain Cragen walked in in his dress blues having just come from a meeting with the brass.

"Nick, a moment please."

"Uh-oh you did it now man." Fin razzed him.

"Yeah always seems that way after I'm left cleaning up your messes." Fin was left with a blank stare as Nick walked by.

"Owww." Amanda chuckled.

"Hey who's your partner?" He chided her.

"Captain."

"Come in and close the door." He closed the door but remained standing.

"You can have a seat there's no charge." Nick sat.

"How's everything going with Maria and your daughter?"

""Fine, just fine. Maria's cancer is in remission and Zara is very happy to know her mom is not sick anymore."

"That's great news I'm happy for all of you. Job going ok?"

"Yes…why would ask me that?"

"Just checking in, I know you have a lot on your plate lately with the sudden realization that you have a son now, Maria's illness and your marital status."

"Thank you Captain, I appreciate that but everything's fine." He sat behind his overly large desk looking at his detective. This made Nick feel uneasy so he stood facing his captain in his usual stance with his hands on his hips and thumbs tucked into his belt.

"Anything else sir?"

"No that'll be all Nick." He nodded turning around leaving. Olivia watched as he waked back to his desk and took his seat looking bewildered.

"What was that all about?" she asked. He rubbed under his bottom lip.

"I tell you later."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Olivia met him at a deli close by the precinct. He was at a table waiting for her. "You don't think I can fit into a booth any longer?" He gave her a sharp look as she took a seat giving herself enough of a bumper zone between her swollen belly and the edge of the table. She leaned on her elbows folding her hands looking across the table at him.

"It was a joke. What's going on Nick?" He looked around then leaned forward laying his forearms flat on the table.

"I get the feeling Cragen thinks there's something going on with us." She studied him for a moment.

"Is that what he told you when he called you in?"

"No not in so many words."

"Don't beat around the bush what exactly did he say?"

"He asked how I was, my family…and the job, just thought it was out of the norm."

"To ask about your family?"

"No, about the job! He knows I've always been cutting it above board; he doesn't have any reason to ask me about the job. I'm doing my job Liv and I'm doing it well."

"Nick you've had a lot on your plate this past year and that is all he's concerned is that you're not letting your personal life interfere with the job, trust me, I know him, he would never delve into any of our personal business unless he sees it affecting your ability to do your job, it's not his way. He's the type of boss who will go to bat for his unit but cross him and you've lost your biggest supporter."

"I hope you're right Liv."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Where's Liv?" Sergeant Munch asked.

"She has an appointment with her obstetrician this morning." Nick never looked up from his report he was scouring over as Munch stood beside his desk.

"Ah yes the miracle of life, the joys of motherhood await her but little does she know her child may be moving back in with her after he…does she know what she's having?"

"She hasn't shared with any of us that I know of." Nick looked up to Fin and Amanda who both shook their heads no.

"Munch is there something I can help you with?" Nick asked noticing him just standing there with a box clutched to his chest.

"I was going to ask Liv to go over these tapes with me but since you have so graciously offered your fre-" Nick looked at his watch making excuses.

"You know what I'm sorry but I'm late for an appointment, I gotta go."

"Your son?" Fin asked sitting casual at his desk with his boot resting on the edge.

"Nick stood behind his chair pulling his coat off the back as he pondered Fin's question.

"Yeah, I'll be back in a bit."

"Ok." Amanda said looking his way.

"Detective Tutuola come and be of assistance to your Sergeant."

"See Amanda I was right he's let his title go to his head." An hour later Captain Cragen waltzed in carrying a cup of coffee and the newspaper and noticed how barren his squad room looked except for Rollins.

"Where's everyone?"

"Uh Fin and Munch are reviewing tapes and Liv is at the doctor and Amaro had some personal business to take care of with his son." Cragen stood in the middle of the squad room floor giving one last glance around before turning on his heels and going into his office. Amanda kept busy with her work not giving it a second thought.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Hey sorry traffic is murder when you live and work in the city." He leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"No worries." She said smiling.

"Olivia Benson?"

"Good timing Nick." She said as he gave her his hand helping her stand. They followed the nurse back to where she showed them into the exam room. She weighed Olivia and took her blood pressure.

"The doctor will be right in." Nick stood against the wall his face looking anxious.

"Nervous?"

"No…yes, you?" Olivia offered her hand as she lay back on the exam table. Nick moved from the wall taking her hand.

"A little but I'm ready to know."

"Me too." They gazed at one another awash in the joyous moment all parents face. Nick bent over kissing her forehead then rested his head on her shoulder. Several moments later there was a knock on the door.

"Good morning." The doctor looked at Nick meeting him for the first time.

"Are you dad?"

"I am."

"I'm Dr. Baker nice to meet you." She looked at Olivia after pulling away her hand from Nick's. I know you so I don't need to shake your hand, how's everything and how's your little baby boy you brought home last month?" The doctor smiled bright in anticipation of the god news. There hadn't been any mention of Leo in weeks so this was difficult for Olivia as she hesitated to answer. The doctor's eyes scanned from hers to Nicks knowing she had asked something Olivia was not comfortable answering. She looked away with watery eyes.

"Please to meet you I'm Nick." He paused as he looked passed her to the wall then back to her. "The surrogate changed her mind but Olivia has filed suit against her and she has a court date in January. The lawyer says she has a very good chance of winning the case."

"Oh I surely hope so, that's terrible; I'm so sorry Olivia if I had known I wouldn't have mentioned it." The doctor reached over to the counter grabbing the box of tissues handing them to Olivia.

"Its ok." She said nodding and wiping at the corner s of her eyes wanting to get on with the appointment. Nick stood at her head holding her hand as the doctor prepared to do the ultrasound. Nick's eyes grew wide as he watched his baby appear on the monitor as the doctor slid the probe from left to right across Olivia's belly. He voiced that he saw the baby's bottom, the arm and the foot. Olivia's excitement grew as well as Nick's.

"I'm going to ask you to turn on your left side then back over. This baby likes to sleep but we're going to wake he or she up because if we have to be awake in the morning so do they." Nick and Olivia smiled.

"Ahhh that's much better and…there…we…have it…congratulations mom you're having a girl."

"A girl?" Nick said happily. Olivia smiled squeezing his hand at the news.

"Hmm-mmm a girl." The doctor said wiping off the probe and her belly. Olivia lifted her face to meet his lips as they shared a quick kiss.

"Everything looks good, blood pressure is high but stable so if you don't have any questions for me I'll see you next month."

"Thanks Dr. Baker." The doctor winked at her as she left them alone.

*Keep the faith with Liv, Leo and the Martins. Believe you me I felt your pain with your reviews. It wasn't easy writing it. You all rock!


	18. Chapter 18 A close call, Olivia did what

Olivia sat next to Amanda at her desk as they went over new evidence from their suspect that she found online. As she was reading, Olivia noticed the pattern of the current perp seemed vaguely familiar. Amanda went to another NYPD site with information on their dirty cop.

"I've got a file on another prick that looks all too familiar to this scumbag, hang on a sec." Olivia scrounged in her files she kept for every 5 years back in her bottom drawer when she came up empty she went into the file room and returned after several moments. Amanda came over and plopped down in the chair beside her desk.

"This is from an old bank account with a dual signature; the 2nd person's name has been blacked out so I pulled a little give and go with the branch president to release this, notice whose name is beside our perps?"

"Jorge and Rolando are step brothers, the mother…she's been behind the scam this whole time." The two women looked at one another astounded this went unfound. Amanda spied the small black and white photo taped to the bottom of Olivia's computer labeled **my baby girl**.

"You're having a girl?" Amanda pointed to the photo.

"Yeah." Olivia beamed looking at her 6 month old fetus.

"Have you decided on a name yet?"

"I'm throwing around some but there's one that keeps coming back to the forefront."

"And that would be?"

"Saving that share till she's born, sorry."

"No it's fine, no worries, congratuations Liv."

"Thanks." Just then Nick and Fin returned with the alleged dirty cop.

"We need to pay a visit to mommy dearest seems she's been funding the boys operation, you two feel like going back out or you want go at him?"

"You leave my mother out of this she ain't gonna tell you squat!" Fin jacked Jorge's arm a little tighter.

"Oh yeah, when enticed with a deal she'll squeal, blood isn't thicker than water when it comes to you and your bro. He's all yours. Come on Nick you owe me lunch for picking against the Nicks. Damn I'm a poet today and don't even know it." Fin said. Amanda's eyebrows rose listening. "Relax it was a friendly bet, just going on Nick's lack of basketball knowledge." Amaro got a good chuckle at his partner's attempt humor. Amanda took the lead as Olivia stood first against the wall.

"You raped and killed these girls who were onto you your scam Jorge!" Amanda threw down the 8x10 autopsied photos in front of him as she circled him. We know your mother has been funding your brother's prison habit because we found that dual signature account from 2005. Jorge you're in a lot of trouble so just come clean to us and the D.A. can cut you a break, so instead of life at Sing-Sing you'll get possibility of parole but sorry you're still stuck with that prison meatloaf."

"I'm not copping to no deal cause I didn't rape or kill those girls! They wanted it, stupid sluts!"

"Well if you didn't kill them Jorge then who did?" Olivia asked stepping away from the wall, pulling the chair away from the table creating some distance between her and the 6'2 alleged perp.

"I don't know!" He shouted.

"See Jorge this how we see it, you invite these underage girls up to your place and they get a little nosy while your doping up so you come out, see them nosing through your book and you're left with no alternative but to kill em after you raped them first. You're sloppy Jorge, professional criminals don't leave evidence out in the open like that. You're just an amateur and when your dna comes back that's inside those girls you're going down and I mean on your knees in prison. Amanda saw the look in his eyes as did Olivia. They both kept their eyes on his hands that were balled up into a tight fist.

"Screw you bitch! Didn't they teach you anything at the academy? "A snitch always winds up someone's bitch." If it weren't for Amanda's quick reflexes moving closer to the table as she anticipated Jorge's next move to prevent it from slamming into Olivia's stomach, not knowing what damage it could have possibly done to her unborn child. Cragen bursted into the room having witnessed the move.

"Get him out here and book him. You ok Liv?" he asked. She finished her moment of being startled but after so many years of perps trying to take a run at her or her former partner she was ready for just about anything. Amanda enjoyed twisting his arm tight as she slapped the silver bracelets on his wrists jerking him around and walking him out.

"Yeah I'm ok." Olivia couldn't hide the fact that her heartbeat was still accelerating as she passed her captain leaving the room. His look of worry was evident across his forehead watching her go. When Nick and Fin returned they informed their team the mother was too frail to interview, she was severely hard of hearing, hooked up to oxygen and had lost the ability to speak from having had surgery for throat cancer. Her hands were too arthritic to pen and paper it. She answered all questions with non-manual answers.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Listen up people." Don Cragen had the floor. He had in his possession an updated list of registered sex offenders. "Halloween is tomorrow so I trust you will be out in full force canvasing the neighborhoods, knocking on doors arresting any joker who tries to pull a fast one." He gave everyone a new sheet. "Rollins you and Fin head over to CPS, see a man named Wayne, he's holding a community rally at 3 with the neighborhood watch program. We don't want citizen's arrests done on these offenders and we want to avoid the fiasco that happened last year with property destruction by these watch dog groups."

"Damn cap'n every year the numbers go up instead of down. I swear take 50 of em off the street and 100 more take over their routes." He said as he and his partner headed off.

"Halloween…wow didn't we just celebrate it last week?" Nick asked wondering where the time has gone. "I'm just so glad Zara is over thinking candy corn is a vegetable." Olivia smiled from behind her computer at his remark.

"I wonder what Gil will decide to go as?"

"I'm betting a super hero." Nick told her. "I'm starved you hungry?…right, bad choice of words." He was forgetting that pregnant women are never without hunger pains.

"Yeah what did you have in mind?"

"I don't know something maybe from Little Italy."

"Mmm I could go for a pound of pasta with oily garlic bread."

"Hey John we're going to lunch want to join us?" Olivia asked.

"I'd love to but I'm taking my mom to her podiatrist appointment, she's having her feet scrapped." Nick and Olivia gave each other of look of don't ask why let's just keep walking.

"Ok another time then." She said.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"That's too bad Munch couldn't join us." Nick tried to hide his sadness.

"Stop it." Olivia said light heartedly.

"Just means I get you all to myself." He wore a happy grin as he sat from her at the cozy corner table for two. Halfway through lunch, Nick propositioned her.

"I want to take you out to a special place next week?"

"A date date or a Nick version of a date?"

"What? What do you mean?" he looked puzzled at her.

"Your favorite Szechuan place then a movie on demand?" She gazed at him contrarily.

"Seriously Liv we haven't been out in a while and we can celebrate."

"I can't drink."

"Just a tiny sip, a toast, to our daughter on the way and to getting Leo back." Just hearing his name brought her sadness. There wasn't a day that went by she didn't think about him. Had he gained enough wait and strength to be released or was he still there, Olivia wondered? She missed the little guy so much. Nick stared at her reaching for her hand.

"Liv?" She stared at the formica for a moment before meeting his gaze.

"It's the only way it has to be." He told her. So next Friday we'll go out?"

"Sure." She echoed, minus her enthusiasm.

"Hang with me kid and I'll show you the time of your life you've never experienced."

"I can hardly wait." She said sarcastically offering him a small smile. Olivia pressed her teeth into her bottom lip.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

The first 5 homes had the registered offenders following probation orders.

"Where we going?" Olivia asked her partner as he made a quick detour.

"Pop into see Gil, you don't mind do you? You can meet him." Nick was happy.

"No not at all."

Cynthia alerted him of their location and Nick spotted them walking. He pulled the cruiser over and got out, Olivia followed.

"Hey Batman save any lives tonight?"

"Niiiick! What are you doing here?"

"Just seeing how much candy you've collected and if I get a piece of your stash."

"Sure whatever you want." Gil said offering his pillow sack. Nick scrounged around until he found his favorite. Cynthia eyed Olivia noticing she was pregnant. Nick looked at Olivia silently asking her if she wanted a piece of candy. She smiled at the young man shaking her head no.

"Oh sorry, Cynthia, Gil this is my partner Detective Benson…Olivia this is my son Gil and his mom." Pleasantries were exchanged between them.

"You're pregnant?" Cynthia asked. Olivia kept her long black coat half opened and the scarf draped around her neck falling past her stomach really didn't conceal too much.

"Yes I am."

"Congratulations when are you due?" Nick looked on as the proud undetected father.

"March." Olivia smiled at the woman.

"Well we better get back to keeping the bad people off the street. Have fun stay safe." Nick gave him a playful pat on his head.

"We will thanks for stopping bye." Gil said smiling at Nick.

"He's a great kid don't you think?" He looked from both mirrors before pulling out.

"Yeah he seems very nice and has good manners."

"I was thinking, I get Zara the day after Thanksgiving what do you think of having Thanksgiving dinner two days later with Gil, his mom, my mom and Zara?" Olivia thought for a moment. She's never marked the day since her mother's death even though her former partner Elliot Stabler invited her numerous times to his place. Usually she and her mother went over to one of her mother's colleague's house for dinner then the rest of the holiday was spent with her mother drunk as a skunk back at their apartment. Olivia was never one to get all excited over holidays because they always ended up the same way they started with glass after glass in her mother's hand. Nick knew of her mother's addiction but was unsure why the pause in her reply.

"Sure." They drove on to the next house on their list. He walked up the stairs and rapped on the door. He turned around and looked at his partner after the 1st ringing of the bell and the2nd knock. He peered in the window but couldn't see anything because there were no lights on. He rapped once more.

"NYPD, open up Mr. Jackson."

"I'm putting him down as non-responsive to orders and not home. Let him explain it away to his po." Olivia told him writing on her clip board. Nick started down the man's stoop when he turned around because he was alerted to a noise from inside. Olivia had started up the block already.

"Wait Liv." A light came on and a disheveled looking middle aged man in a bath robe appearing sleepy opened the door.

"I know the drill do you mind I have to be at work in a few hours!" The man barked at Nick.

"Sorry but we do this annually whether you like it or not. Thank you, have a nice night." Nick said sternly to the man. As he was closing the door he heard a child's voice and heavy whispering coming from the occupier of the residence. He knocked on the door with force shouting, "Mr. Jackson need you to open the door now or I'm busting it down!" Nick heard a command for the child to run. He flew by Olivia missing 3 steps at a time racing towards the back.

"I'll call for back up!" she said. "SVU portable to central, request back up at 66th and Baron Place. Suspect may have evacuated premises with child, possibly armed."

"We have a runner heading east on 66th. Victim is ok unharmed. I repeat a runner heading east on 66th!"

"We're on it!" Amanda said coming over her radio. Nick was unaware that Olivia took the cruiser attempting to chase down their perp. She saw Mr. Jackson duck in between the cars then sprint across the street dodging trick or treaters. She peeled rubber making a sharp u-turn in the middle of the street racing up to the end and making a left turn heading down the opposite street anticipating his move. She saw him so she braked hard and exited energetically, pulling her service weapon on him. He looked 10 shades of white wondering where she came from.

"Police freeze! Show your hands slowly!" He complied with her orders with the headlights shining in his eyes. Amanda and Fin rolled up coming to her back up. Sirens could be heard blaring close by. Amanda radioed Nick informing him the suspect was caught. He was not copasetic with his partner when he met with the 3 of them.

"Liv what are you doing? Have you lost your mind? You call for back up you don't go chasing humps in our condition!"

"Nick…step back, you don't supervise me." Amanda spoke low in her praise for Olivia but silently agreed with Nick's furor.

"Nice collar Liv that's why I've always admired your instincts." Olivia gave Nick a long cool look as she got back in the cruiser. Amanda and Fin witnessing the exchange between Olivia and Nick, glanced at one another as they took care of Mr. Jackson.

"You riding back with me?" Olivia asked leaning across the bench seat talking through the open passenger window.

"No I need some air." He said walking off. She shook her head watching him walk away.

***Thank you for your fantastic reviews, were inching closer and closer and that's all I'm going to say for now Rock on! :)**


	19. Chapter 19 Nick & Olivia :D

Fin and Amanda finished their door to door with their probation violator in cuffs in the back seat. Olivia returned the precinct and found it was pretty much a ghost town. Those with small children left to take their kids trick or treating and those who didn't stayed and worked. Counting Olivia there were a total of four people on the 4th floor. Nick never returned after finishing their route. She knew she was wrong and she would tell him so but her cop instincts took over tonight, sometimes she didn't even realize she was going into cop mode, just like that her mind and body go on auto pilot. Amanda returned shortly after 9.

"Hey." Amanda said walking in. Olivia lifted her head up to acknowledge her then went right back to her work.

"Hey." Amanda got herself settled but kept her gaze on Olivia.

"I do my best work here at night with the evening shift. It's so quiet I can get a lot done what about you?" Olivia swiveled in her chair to face the young detective from Atlanta. Rollins reminded her of herself in her much younger days on the force, the tough exterior but soft on the inside, the charge, the determination to bring justice to those who can't defend themselves attitude, no family to balance with the job. Yes, Amanda Rollins age 34 was just like Olivia Benson 14 years ago.

"Yeah I used to end up sleeping here when I first joined the unit. Ate, drank and slept my cases. Don't do it Amanda you won't have a life or a chance at a decent relationship."

"You're still doing it though." The Georgian told her. Olivia smoothed her stomach.

"She the reason why I have a life outside of here now."

"That's a good enough reason." Amanda said. Olivia turned back to her work leaving Amanda staring at her back. Several more hours passed with minimal chit chat between the two detectives. It was 12:05 in the morning the next day November 1; Olivia checked her phone before calling it a night. No call from Nick, not as if she expected him to after the way he stormed off in a huff.

"Good night Amanda." She pocketed her hone and scooped her keys from her purse then pushed the strap over her shoulder.

"Hey Liv this may be none of my business but earlier tonight what happened out there."

"You're right Amanda it's none of your business, see you tomorrow." Olivia creased her lips nodding at her as she left. She was awash in disappointment that his squad car wasn't parked in her driveway behind hers as it usually is Sunday evening through Friday morning when she made the turn down her street.

Later today they would surely talk it out.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Nick was getting a beverage from the staff refrigerator when she walked up to him. Fin and Amanda knew she was doing her apology walk. Olivia looked soft at his profile and spoke low, almost to a whisper. "I'm sorry I know I shouldn't have gone after him." Nick popped the top off looking straight ahead, then putting the can to his lips, he took a swallow.

"Liv I can't take another heart attack like that."

"I said I was sorry." His eyes did a quick scan then he turned facing her, looking her straight in the eye.

"I know Liv, it's just…I know you hate being stuck behind a desk because you're better out there and the humps know it."

"It won't happen again, I'm not going to put my baby in jeopardy." He tilted his head looking at her with earnest and somber.

She flinched a smile at him. "Our baby." she whispered.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Friday Nick was off to D.C. and after work Olivia decided to go shopping for baby knick knacks for the other nursery. The painters had finished and the walls were a beautiful desert rose. She and Nick loved how the painters chained together tiny clowns with balloons and paper dolls and flowers as a border. She almost forgot how nice it was to have maid service and room service for two days while the paint fumes evaporated. The only setback was when they delivered the furniture the rocking chair was the wrong color. The baby girl's room was all white but the rocker that came was brown so it went back.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

When Nick returned from his weekend with his daughter he found Olivia asleep on the couch with Sunday's crossword edition resting on her chest. He picked it up looking at her sporadic penciled in answers. _Looks as though this one really stumped you_ he thought. She lifted her lids open when the smell of his cologne wafted up into her membranes. He kissed her softly.

"Hi beautiful." He sat down putting her feet across his lap massaging them.

"Hey handsome, how was your weekend with Zara?" She yawned long.

"It was great how was yours?"

"Good, I putted around in the nursery."

"Uh-oh you bought too much again huh?"

"You can never buy too many stuffed animals Nick." He smiled at her joy. He studied her puzzle for a moment.

"Finally stumped you huh?"

"Can't always be perfect every Sunday haha."

"You're neck is going to kill you in the morning." He lifted the blanket off her. "Let's go to bed." He helped her to her feet.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Zara was tucked in and Nick's mom was cleaning up the dinner dishes when he entered from the hallway dressed very nice and smelling pretty nice as well. "Nicky you're serious about this woman aren't you?"

"Ma sit down." Mrs. Amaro gave her son a long look. "Please." He said. She took a seat on the couch. "Ma the woman I'm with is my partner Olivia and she's pregnant with my baby."

"¿qué? Oh mijo what are you doing? You're not even divorced from Maria and you just found out you have a son with another woman. This can't be good for Zara. Nicky you can't date someone from work your relationship will interfere with your judgment plus is that even allowed?"

"Ma hold on. No not exactly and no we've been extremely careful not to let our relationship interfere. We've been discussing it and after she has the baby we're going to disclose to our captain. Worst case scenario is that I will transfer out to homicide. I'm planning on taking the sergeants exam next fall anyways."

"Madre de dios, mijo you know I love you dearly and I support you, I just hope this doesn't come back and bite you in the bee-hind."

"It won't ma. I love Olivia and she loves me and I know when you get to know her better you're going to love her like I do."

"Nick if she loves you deep inside to your core then that is all that matters to me and what I've met of her already, I like her…a lot, but I'm your momma and I still worry about you."

"I know ma I know." Nick cupped the side of her head pulling her close kissing her forehead.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

The black stretch limo pulled up in front of her house. Neighborhood gawkers hid inconspicuously behind the curtains peering out. She was a vision of loveliness to him in her red caftan cocktail dress with a loose transparent scarf draped over her shoulder. He took her hand helping her inside.

"My goodness you weren't kidding were you?"

"Not when it comes to showing you how much I love you." She cuddled up to him kissing him softly. A few miles down the road Nick popped the top on the Champaign. He poured a glass for him a splash for her.

"I love you Liv."

"I love you too Nick thank you for all this." They tapped their glasses then took sips. Some of the gaseous bubbles escaped up into her nose.

"Wooo bubbles." Olivia said coughing, sniffing, rubbing under nose, laughing. He took her glass from her along with his, putting it in the holders. She looped her arm with his snuggling close. Nick turned up the r&b music and tapped his knee to the beat resting his head against hers. The next stop was at an upscale Mexican restaurant.

"I so hope I don't pay later by eating this. "I've felt heartburn lately."

"You know what that means?" he said.

"Our daughter is going to have a full head of hair." Nick tussled with his hair nodding yes. Olivia turned her head in the direction of the music seemingly getting closer. The 4 part mariachi band stopped at their table.

"For you Señorita." The lead mañanita said. Olivia blushed as Nick looked on smiling happily at her. The quartet sang an 18th century love ballad stemming from the French intervention in Mexico and after the Mexican Revolution. _Long is my love for you._ By the end of the song she had tears in her eyes. Nick passed his closed hand over to the mañanita.

"Gracias señor gracias." The gentleman bowed his head and bowed to Olivia who clapped through her streaming tears.

"Era hermoso gracias." Nick said standing and clapping. Their date ended with a Broadway play.

"Pinch me." Olivia asked Nick as they were heading back to her house.

"Pinch you?"

"Yes, I feel so loved; the night was so magical I don't want it to end!"

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Olivia finished rubbing in the lotion on her hands and arms then patted her face with the residue left on her palms. Through his eyes, the silhouette of Olivia in her maternity nightgown that came just above the knee and her perfectly round belly made him feel warm for her. Olivia was 5 months pregnant now. Nick's hand lightly swiped at her hip brushing against her buttocks as she crossed in front of him. He was in his stocking feet and his shirt was unbuttoned and un-tucked from his waist. He sat on the edge of the bed on her side.

"What?"

"Nothing you're just so beautiful."

"Thank you." She came and stood between his legs. She combed through his hair delicately with her fingertips. He lifted his face to meet her eyes staring down lovingly at him. Their lips met softly at first before turning into a full French kiss. Nick's hands rested on her hips pulling her closer to him. Slowly his hands came around the front of her body rising slowly up across her pregnant belly to her breasts. She bent her head back feeling the heat his hands created. Olivia held his head to her stomach where he planted kisses around her navel. He fell back and she put her one knee up on the bed then the other settling over his groin. His crotch was beginning to thicken at her touch as her hands brushed over the zipper of his trousers. She smoothed her hands over his chest and back down his hard stomach. He lay back at her mercy. Olivia undid his zipper slowly. Nick rose up shedding his dress shirt. She gestured for him to raise his arms. He lifted his arms and she took off his t-shirt. Nick lay back down halfway on his elbows watching her seductively. She yanked at his pants. She lifted up one leg giving him leeway to rise up and push down his slacks over his hips and then onto the floor. The growing bulge in his underwear was evident and her eyes deliciously enjoyed it. Olivia lifted her arms with Nick helping slide her gown over her head. His lips attached to her breasts as he gently kissed and licked her taught nipples. Their love making was gentle and easy as they blissfully enjoyed their connecting bodies.

****Thank you for your fantastic reviews, were inching closer and closer and that's all I'm going to say for now Rock on!**


	20. Chapter 20 All Nick's women

"Ok piquita it's time to get going."

"Can we go through the maze just one more time daddy please?"

"No sweetheart we gotta get going we're already late."

"But I wanna go one more time its fun."

"I tell you what, after Thanksgiving when I come back down for your birthday we'll come back here and do the maze all day how's that sound?"

"Ok daddy that sounds fair."

"Sounds fair? Where did you learn to talk like that?" Nick scooped up his daughter and tickle kissed her, tossing her from one of his shoulders to the other. Zara went into a fit of giggles.

"Daddy stop that tickles….daaaaaaddy stttttop please!" Maria was waiting for them sitting her car when she spotted them pulling up, she got out.

"Nick you're late!"

"Hi mommy."

"Hi baby get in and I'll buckle you up, we're late, we have to meet nonna and nonno for dinner they're waiting."

"I know sorry, we went to a petting zoo in Maryland that had this giant corn maze and the traffic was horrible getting back. Zara just loved it, she wan-"

"Sounds good Nick I'm sure she loved it thanks but we're late, I'll see you next week." Nick stood there on the sidewalk feeling awkward. He watched as Maria buckled Zara in waving at her.

"Bye piquita I love you very much, see you next week." They did their usual blow you a kiss catch your kiss good bye. He watched them drive off then got into his rental car.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Olivia took out the container that housed her left over dinner she made last night. There was still some decent colored lettuce in the bag that she dumped into a bowl and proceeded to chop and add a few vegetables to toss in. She set the timer and made her call.

"Hartford General Hospital how may I direct your call?"

"Pediatric nicu please."

"Patient information or main floor nurses desk?"

"Patient information please." Olivia said. Suddenly her stomach felt knotted.

"One moment while I connect your call."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. It's ringing."

"Pediatrics nicu may I help you?"

"Hi yes I'm calling to check on my nephew, he was born there last month and I live quite a ways away and before I made the trek to see him I wanted to find out if he's still there or if he's been discharged?"

"Do you have the code for the nicu?"

"I'm sure my sister gave it to me right after he was born but I seem to have misplaced it sorry." Olivia could hear the inconvenient sigh in the nurse's voice.

"I'm sorry mam without a passcode I can't give out any information on the patients."

"Ok sure I understand it's just that I haven't been able to reach my sister or any family there in Connecticut and I just wanted to be able to see my nephew. Thanks for your time." The nurse sighed long once again.

"Mam the access code is 6261 for future calls. What's the last name?" Olivia could tell the nurse was now out of patience with her.

"Martin, Joshua." She heard the clicking/clacking of the keyboard in the background.

"Discharged yesterday."

"Thank you so much." The next thing Olivia heard was the receiver being put back onto he base hard. No you're welcome…nothing of the sort but she did get the information she wanted. She was melancholy, happy that he was out of the hospital because that meant he did well. Olivia could tell, she just could, when she let him wrap his little fingers around her one. He was strong and already had a grip at 33 and ½ weeks old but on the other hand she was deeply saddened because she wanted to have been the one to bring him home. She pressed her finger to the corner of her eye then wiped with the back of her hand at the liquid that pooled inside. Olivia placed her hands on her stomach rubbing all around staring blankly into space. The dinging of the microwave brought her to; she stood and walked over and removed her dinner.

Soon Nick would be home.

After dinner she wanted something to lighten her mood so she surfed for some program to make her laugh. She came across an old episode of Saturday Night Live with the original cast of Chevy Chase Dan Ackroyd, Eddie Murphy, Jane Curtain, Gilda Radner and John Belushi to name a few. It didn't take long to laugh at what made her laugh hysterically when she was a young teen. Olivia remembers pretending to be asleep when her mother checked in on her at bedtime, then when she was passed out drunk on the couch later or out at a local bar, was an avenue for her to release pent up energy through 90 minutes of pure laughter. She often had to bury her face into a pillow to muffle her laughter so she wouldn't wake up her mother. Those precious times she cherishes in memory.

_She would have shattered the tv screen with whatever was in her hand at the time if she ever knew I watched programs like this _she reflected_. _Olivia never wanted to show any happiness when it came to her in bits and pieces throughout her life when she was little because that made her mother feel insecure if Olivia was happy. To her mother it meant **Her Olivia** was growing up and soon her daughter would make her own decisions that would navigate her life down a better path. When Nick arrived she ushered him to sit and watch with her.

"Oh man this is classic SNL." He said taking a seat on the couch.

"It doesn't get any funnier than this." she said.

"This show was taboo to watch in my house so me and my sister would wait until mom went to bed then sneak down stairs but we had to sit up close to the tv because we couldn't have the volume way up and she would cover my mouth if I laughed too loud."

"I had to put a pillow over my face otherwise my mom would have yanked the plug from the wall and thrown the tv out the window if she caught me watching this." They roared in laughter at the skits the same as they did years ago. On the commercial Nick told Olivia that his mom was looking forward to meeting her next Thursday for Thanksgiving. Suddenly her face became white as a ghost.

"What? What's wrong, I thought you were ok with meeting my mom?"

"Well yes I am but Thanksgiving Nick? It's such a…"

"Such a what? A time honored traditional family gathering?"

"Yeah." She said weakly.

"So let me get this straight Liv, you just want to continue spending holidays alone rather than come to my mom's and meet an incredible woman who wants to get to know you better and have a nice dinner?"

"That's not what I said. I do want to meet your mom I just didn't think it would be on one of the biggest American holidays."

"I think you're being foolish."

"Alright I'll come."

"Good I'm glad I just know you'll hit it off with my mom and my sister."

"Your sister too!"

"I only have one Liv and after Maria you're a shoe in. Olivia backhanded him on the chest not finding his remark funny.

"How much do they know?"

"My mom knows were involved and that you're pregnant with the neighbor's child." Her eyes were huge as she scoffed and tried to interject with her voice and hands at Nick's ill fate attempt at humor but he stilled them with his. "Annnnd...as I told you she's not a judgmental person. She wants to get to know you and she told me from what she knows of you she likes you a lot." Olivia gave him an uneasy stare.

"You know about her being abused so do you think she's worried that you know that about her?"

"Is she?"

"No, my mom is a much stronger and proud woman from it and thinks nothing of it that you know about that part of her life."

"Did you tell her I'm a product of rape?"

"No you'll do that on your own time." This earned him a small smile from her.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

It was Tuesday night his regular night with his son. It was a rainy evening so instead of going out to the arcade or taking in a movie or just hanging out doing guy stuff Cynthia offered Nick to stay and have dinner then rent a movie or play games afterwards. Nick was more than happy to accept the invite. After dinner, instead of watching a movie, Nick and Gil played on his gaming system a number of rounds of Super Mario with Gil beating Nick badly and Cynthia chuckling in the background.

"Hey no comments from the peanut gallery, I didn't grow up with video games and plus I have a daughter. I'm better at having tea with her Barbie's."

"Nick that's just sad." Gil told him twisting his body and gripping the controls maneuvering his character in the game.

"I don't play with dolls I…just…have tea with Zara and her dolls." When you get my age and have kids you'll understand what it's like to raise a girl."

"I'm never getting married." Gil retorted.

"You say that now, you never know who'll change your life for the better." Cynthia looked over at Nick when he said that but he didn't make eye contact with her, he was too busy trying to save some face from his disastrous score. The three of them ended the evening doing the Just Dance game. Cynthia scooted her son off to bed who naturally protested.

"Aw I want to stay up just a little longer I'm almost 10 and you said when I'm 10 I get to stay up an extra 15 minutes so can I have an early birthday present?"

"No you can't you slick salesman you." His mom told him giving him the needed push.

"Listen to your mom and I'll see you next week."

"Good night Nick tonight was fun."

"Yes it was even though you kicked my butt and I will redeem myself." Gil gave Nick a hug and kissed his mom before heading off to his room.

"You ready for that dessert now?" She asked him.

"Yeah I think I burned off dinner." he said patting his stomach.

"Coffee?"

"No I don't like coffee."

"Oh really what did you call that stuff you drank when you met me on your breaks?" she asked.

"That was different I drank it to keep me awake." She rolled her eyes back laughing. After dessert and casual conversation Nick made his excuses to get on down the road.

"Cynthia I meant to bring this up earlier but what are you and Gil's plans for Thanksgiving?"

"We're going to my sister's why?"

"Your sister's here?"

"Yeah she came here a few years after Gil was born, why?"

"I have Zara on Friday and I wanted to introduce them and I thought we all could do a post-Thanksgiving dinner.

"Sounds nice Nick thank you but sorry we already have plans."

"No problem we'll introduce them another time. Well it's getting late I better go, thank you for dinner, dessert and a nice evening."

"You're welcome." She said walking him to the door. "Nick how is your divorce going or are you and Maria still planning on divorcing?"

"It's on hold. Maria just went into remission a month ago so I didn't want to push it. That would seem callous of me."

"Oh of course, that's good she beat her cancer."

"It sure is and I couldn't be happier for Zara, she really didn't handle it too well."

"I'm glad for her and for you too."

"Yeah…well thanks again good night." As he walked to his car he wondered why Cynthia would ask about his pending divorce _but there could only be one reason why she would _he thought as he opened the door and got in.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"What should I bring?" Olivia asked.

"I'll call." He scrolled down through his recent calls and selected mom mobile knowing she would be out at the grocery store at this time.

"You're shopping aren't you?"

"Yes what do you need son?"

"Olivia wants to know what to bring Thursday?"

Just yourselves I have it all under control."

"Nothing she has it all under control." He whispered.

"I'm not going to dinner without bringing something. Dessert or side dish?"

"Ma Olivia wants to bring something so please let her bring something."

"Ok tell her a pumpkin pie or apple will be fine and thank you."

"Pumpkin pie ok?" he looked at Olivia. She nodded her approval. Nick continued listening on the other end. "She said thank you."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Son would you like to say the blessing?"

"Sure but ma you're the matriarch it always came from you."

"I give the exception today mijo." Nick smiled at his mom and grabbed for Olivia's hand as the rest of the table joined hands.

"Lord today we bless this food we are about to eat and we give thanks to you and for all the people who taught and gave us this wonderful family tradition. We bless and thank our United States military who fight and die for our freedoms home and abroad every day and Lord I want to give a special thanks to Olivia, a lovely person whom we are all happy that she was able to grace our table today and share in this incredibly delicious and magnificent feast. Through Christ our bounty in Jesus name amen." All reciprocated with an amen. Mrs. Amaro winked at Olivia smiling raising her glass of wine.

"Salud!" Everyone raised their glasses to meet the matriarch's offer.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

As Nick and Olivia prepared to leave his mom was packing up food for them to take with them.

"Olivia it was so nice having you here today. Your pies were delicious." She said covering her hands with her own.

"Thank you and thank you for having me, the dinner was just delicious." Nick held her coat so she could slip her arm in then the other. "I'm so glad everyone liked the pies because making them was a first for me. I don't do much cooking for myself."

"Oh she's just being modest ma; let me tell you the pork chops she made the other night were out of this world."

"I bet they were, Olivia you look like you take wonderful care of yourself, you're your skin is so beautiful and for being with child that is a blessing. With both of my children I had the driest skin and I tried everything…nothing worked, one day I will show you my stretch marks. The three of them enjoyed the laugh. His sister walked in with a dirty diaper in a plastic bag and a cranky three year old.

"We're gonna get ready to shove off too mom."

"You sure, because by the looks of Bob he is nowhere near ready." Nick, Olivia, his mom and sister Anita turned their attention to the living room where Anita's husband had been passed out shortly after the start of the 4th quarter.

"It was a pleasure meeting you Olivia and congratulations once again; I wish you all the best."

"Thank you it was a pleasure meeting you too Anita. Bye little man." Olivia said trying to shake Nick's nephews hand but he was safely in his mother's arms and wanted nothing to do with anyone who wasn't her. Even his grandmother couldn't coax him into kissing her good bye kisses.

"Come back soon." Nick's mom told her hugging Olivia. Nick looked on very happy.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"You really enjoyed yourself today didn't you?"

"Yes I did and you enjoy this, seeing me happy thinking I wouldn't of."

"When you told me that none of your relationships ever got this point and you seemed kid of relieved that they didn't I wasn't sure how toady would turn out but I did have hope."

"Well…things change what can I say." Nick gave her a sideways glance smirking loudly and enjoying every minute of it. What he didn't enjoy was her giving him a slap to the arm.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

It was a week before Christmas. Nick had Zara for the weekend and he invited Olivia to go ice skating with them then a bite to eat before he had to meet Maria at the train. Olivia said her good byes to Zara and Nick and went on her way. She wasn't at home long making herself a cup of tea when she heard the doorbell. _Nick has his key or did he lose it? _She thought as she walked to the door but first pulling back the side curtain seeing who it was at her front door. Olivia was stunned as she saw with her own eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

***I wnder who could be at Olivia's door?***


	21. Chapter 21 Knock knock who's there?

Over Hannah Martin's shoulder Olivia could see a white minivan with exhaust fumes coming out of the pipe. It was a cold and blustery day.

"Olivia may I come in?"

"No and I would like for you to get off my property before I call the cops and have a restraining order put out on you and your husband."

"Olivia I only come with peace, please you have to believe me."

"I don't have to believe anything you say now please leave, I'm not going to tell you again." Hannah stared at Olivia with heavy eyes.

"Olivia I brought Joshu, I mean Leo."

"What?" Olivia was sure she heard Hannah say I brought Leo but still the shock had set in. Hannah turned around and waved for her husband to come. The next thing Olivia saw was Bruce exit the van with a child carrier that was covered with a blanket of zoo animals as he came closer. Her heart sunk into her abdomen.

"Olivia may we please come in?" Olivia was at a loss for words. So much was going through her head and her heart. She nodded and moved aside as Bruce got to her step. They both entered as Olivia's eyes were firmly glued on the shape of the blanketed carrier. Bruce drew back the blanket to reveal a sleeping Leo. Olivia motioned for them to sit. Hannah struggled at finding her words. The emotion in her voice was not false Olivia noted but their intent was yet to be judged. Her eyes never left the site of her baby boy in that carrier.

"We know- we've brought grief and heart ache to you…and we just want-you to know we never meant to…and you'll probably never believe that but it's the truth. I'm so sorry Olivia." Olivia stood going into the hall bathroom and getting the box of Kleenex, returning handing it to Hannah. She took a few. Bruce had removed his glasses to wipe at his eyes as well. Olivia walked over to him handing him the box then returned to her seat.

"Why…why did you do it?" she asked barely audible. Her eyes had pooled with water ready to spill. Her lips quivered and she wiped each eye, each cheek catching the tears as escaped from her tear ducts.

"I don't know, I I I…just felt him inside me…and felt that he was mine-and after we brought him home…I kept thinking what did I do to this poor woman who wanted children all her life." Hannah took a deep breath continuing to wipe at her tears. The baby started to stir so Bruce rocked him as Olivia watched. He yawned and cooed making all the cute baby sounds a new born does. They both noticed Olivia zeroing in on the blue mittens as she held on to her wet, wrinkled tissue.

"His nails grow so fast we keep those on to protect his little face. You'll see his left cheek already has a tiny scratch." Bruce told her.

"Olivia I'm a good Christian woman and my heart would not allow me to keep this little boy from you any longer." Hannah stood prompting Bruce to stand and hand over Olivia's son to her. Her hands shook with joy and fear as she took possession of Leo. She held the carrier with one hand as she wiped away her streaming tears.

"Our lawyer has already been contacted and should be or already has contacted yours. Olivia's phone rang as the three stood in her living room.

"We've taken up enough of your time already. Olivia we are very sorry." Hannah said sobbing. She crossed in front of her husband who looked down at Leo.

"Everything is in here, clothes we bought, formula, diapers, medical records, first check up, it's all there and you'll notice he has cradle cap so we just put the lotion on him at bed time and in the morning. Doctor said he'll outgrow it by 6, 7 months." Bruce turned and headed to the door only to turn back to Olivia.

"He's really been a good baby." When the door was shut and their van gone, Olivia stared down at her son touching his hands, his arms, and his face. Leo was here and finally hers to call her own. Olivia went and checked who had called her. It was her lawyer so she called him back. The relief washed over her as she was told they could not change their mind and come back and take her baby Mr. Sinclair assured her.

"The nightmare is over Olivia. You have your baby forever." She was so emotional she couldn't answer him back."

"I know what you are meaning to say Olivia. Congratulations and call me in the morning and we'll set up a meeting for you to sign the papers and close this chapter. Bye now." The first thing Olivia did after ending the call with her lawyer was to hold her son.

"Hi Leo, we meet again handsome." She pressed her lips to his forehead and smelled the lingering scent of baby powder. "I missed you so much." She walked in circles as she looked down at him sleeping in her arms. She realized that she hadn't shared the good news with Nick. At first he was skeptical that was just another ploy with the Martins but she assured him after talking to her lawyer this was the real deal, done deal.

"What oh my god I'll be right there. Forget the gym! Oh my god Liv I can't believe it. Oh my god!" She laughed at his excitement then went into the kitchen to make him a bottle.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"He's so handsome." Olivia said bent over Leo's crib.

"I know." Nick said looking at him lying there so comfortable.

"Ten little toes, ten little fingers." Olivia said stroking his feet as he lay in his crib for the every first time. Nick rubbed her back.

"We better get to bed ourselves because he'll be up in a few hours." Leo moaned turning his head to the other side. Nick pulled on Olivia's arm tiptoeing backwards but she wasn't quite ready to leave him just yet. Olivia went over and sat in the rocking chair.

"I'm just going sit here for a little while ok." She whispered. He walked over to her smiling.

"Ok, I love you."

"I love you too."

So many thanks for hanging in there with me. We made it! Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews-you all are so awesome after reading the reviews tonight from chapter 20 I decided to go ahead give you 21. Sorry its short, work last Thursday to today wiped me out but I strive to make my readers happy I have a little tweaking to do with chapter 22. Sometimes ideas just pop up in your head that sound better than what I had originally penned so I will be posting again tomorrow or Tuesday. XOXO!


	22. Chapter 22 A life of love

"A fiber optic tree, Liv are you serious? We cannot have a fiber optic tree, that's not traditional that's un-American…we…are getting a real tree."

"Shhh, you'll wake him up." Nick looked at Leo asleep in his crib in their room that Olivia had asked him to move two days ago after he found her asleep in the nursery. She confessed she just wasn't ready to be apart from him in case he cried in the middle of the night. He moved the crib for her but then they had one of their "friendly" arguments over Leo's new sleeping arrangements with Nick believing should not be permanent. Olivia agreed it wouldn't but for now she wanted him at arm's length. He wondered if he was wrong to think this of her since Olivia was getting such a late start in life at motherhood and going through such a traumatic ordeal that she would become too attached to Leo and prolong his sleeping in their room.

"Nick Christmas is in 4 days all the good trees are gone by now." Olivia told him. He watched at her climbing into bed getting under the covers complaining it was cold in the house. "I think the furnace needs to be checked."

"I'll check it tomorrow and after work I'm going to stop at every lot and get us a tree Liv."

"Ok." She said. He noticed a large trash bag by the hamper.

"What's in here?"

"The clothes the Martin's sent, I don't want them so I'm going to put them out with tomorrows trash."

"Liv I know you're angry and have every right to be but throwing them away is not the answer. Give them away you know as well as I do they're plenty of babies who need clothes." Looking at him she knew he had a point, it's just that she had so much pent up anger towards them right now.

"You're right; I was planning on visiting the squad room this week and turn in my maternity leave slip so I can drop them off at the Salvation Army on our way in."

Fin saw her coming pushing Leo in his stroller from his peripheral vision. He was at his desk reclining very casual twirling a football in his hands when he spotted her and the baby.

"Hey Liv, so this is Leo." He said coming over and giving her a hug. Olivia noticed Nick was not at his desk as she passed by although he knew she would be visiting today.

"Aw the baby's here." Amanda said coming over. Captain Cragen was on the phone and saw the gathering from his vantage point behind his desk. He made his excuses and ended the call.

"It's so good to see you Liv how are you?" Amanda asked.

"I'm great minus the lack of sleep but he's all worth it."

"Congratulations Liv." Her captain said giving her a one arm hug.

"How's everything?"

"Couldn't be better." She said smiling down at her son.

"He's beautiful Liv, you were destined for motherhood." Amanda was squatting making a fuss over the baby then looked up at Olivia smiling.

"I agree but you are coming back after your daughter's born right?" Her hesitation was noted by all who surround her.

"Yeah I'll be back."

"Good because we miss ya round here."

"I miss you all too."

"Hey little fella." Don said leaning down shaking his little hand. "Mind if I hold him?"

"Oh absolutely." Olivia picked up Leo handing him over to her captain.

"Hi there I just want let you know you couldn't have picked a better mom than who you have." Olivia blushed at his words as her colleagues looked on appreciatively. Fin put his hand on her back giving it a light rub.

"Where's Nick?" Olivia asked.

"He's at a parent conference for his son." Cragen added. _At a parent conference. _Olivia dwelled on that for a second. _He never mentioned that to me. He's just getting to know his son after 9 years and now he's going to parent conferences? How much of this Is Cynthia's doing?_ _She thought not liking where her thoughts were taking her. _

"A-ha and what do we have here and where's Olivia and who is this handsome creature invading our squad room?" Sergeant Munch said entering. He removed his hat giving Olivia a kiss on her cheek.

"Congratulations Liv I'm very happy everything worked out for you."

"I am too John."

"So does that mean little Leo here gets two birthdays?" Fin spied his partner a look.

"Munch if you haven't noticed babies are only born one time."

"No he's right Fin. Leo's real birthday is now October 10th and although he was due to be born on November 7th he has two ages, his chronological age and his adjusted age. Technically he's 9 weeks old but developmentally he's almost 6 weeks."

"And strong as an ox," Don said watching her son grip his blanket trying to pull it close to his mouth.

"The Jets could use him they need all the help they can get." Fin added. _Nick would keel over from a heart attack if he knew Leo grew up to play for the New York Jets football team. Nick was a true NY Giants fan through and through and would not here of Leo playing for the opposition she thought._

"Well if you ever need a baby sitter you can call me anytime, he's just so adorable."

"You say that now Amanda but when you can't get him to stop crying or when he spits up on your $100.00 blouse you'll run out never to look back." Amanda smirked at her partner.

"No such thing, I love kids, I baby sat all the time back in GA. Someday I'd like to have a family of my own." Olivia smiled at her remembering their conversation a few weeks back. Amanda was young, beautiful so landing a partner for life shouldn't be hard for her unless she let the job consume her. Leo sneezed and started to fuss in Don's arms.

"Now that's why I love kids because I get to give them back after the cuteness wares off." Olivia took Leo cradling him against her chest, cooing softly and planting light kisses on the top his head. He started to calm down after a moment recognizing her soothing voice, her familiar scent and her secure arms.

"Well we'll be on our way I have to go drop off my leave slip to hr. Merry Christmas everyone." Merry Christmas Liv was echoed by her colleagues.

"And Merry first Christmas to Leo." Amanda said waving bye bye to the baby.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo 

Nick arrived with the tree he promised. "Man it's cold out there. Can you believe it's going down to single digits tonight?" He set up the tree stand and asked Olivia to get water. He struggled trying to get the tree perfectly straight into the stand but finally after perseverance it stood straight.

"Honey the tree looks great thanks." Olivia said cradling a sleeping baby in her arms.

"Got these too." He handed her a bag with boxes of ornaments. Olivia put Leo down in his travel carrier and looked through the boxes until she found the one that said baby's first Christmas. She smiled holding it up marveling at it, she started to well up. He smiled at her coming close.

"He's my Christmas miracle."

"Yes he is, here let's hang it here. With Nick coming up behind her, his hands covering hers that covered her belly and together they hung Leo's ornament smack dab in the middle. She leaned back on him and he kissed the side of her head. Olivia smiled contently closing her eyes. While trimming the tree she asked him why he was at Gil's parent conference earlier.

"When I came by today they told me you were at a parent conference for Gil?"

"Yeah Cynthia asked me to go, why, is there a problem?"

"No it's just that I thought you would have mentioned it, it kind of took me by surprise that's all."

"Took you by surprise? Gil's my son Liv, I'm gonna be involved in his life academically and socially. You mean the real reason it took you by surprise was that Cynthia wanted me there. She's not trying to get with me Liv she just wants me involved in the whole nine yards with him. She won't even accept child support from me."

"And that's supposed to make me feel any easier about her motives?"

"Do you hear yourself? She doesn't have any motive and besides if she did I would tell her I'm not interested. Gil is my son and that is the only connection I will ever have with her. Come here." He tossed the garland over the branch coming down off the step stool and then pulled her into a hug. "I love many people in this world but I only have intimate love for you."

"I'm sorry Nick I'm just still an emotional mess."

"There's no need to be anymore. You have everything you've always dreamed of." They kissed each other sweetly on the lips and Olivia placed her hands over his as he touched her stomach.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It was Christmas Eve and Nick was on his way to pick up Zara. He had her for Christmas Eve and until 11:00 a.m. Christmas day. That evening his mom would be over for dinner and gift exchange. Olivia sat at the kitchen table feeding Leo his bottle as Nick downed his glass of orange juice then got up depositing his breakfast dishes in the sink.

"Ok gotta run I'll see you both soon."

"Don't forget the ham they close at 3 today." She reminded him. Sometimes Nick hated her little reminders. He was exhausted running around doing last minute shopping, working full time, his regular Tuesday night with his son Gil and grocery shopping for items Olivia forget to get for Christmas Eve dinner.

"I won't Liv." He bent over kissing Leo on his head then kissed her tummy before lifting up meeting her lips where he lingered before ending the kiss then rubbed noses with her.

"I love you." he said.

"I love you too Nick. Drive safe; people are often in too big a hurry this time of year."

"This is NY they drive like its Christmas every day."

"True, see you soon." He winked at her giving her a wave good bye. Olivia gazed at her son. "I did ok picking out a dad for you didn't I? I hope you grow up to be just like him, honest and decent, caring and compassionate." Leo gazed up at her grunting, shaking his hands and pressing his legs into her forearm. Olivia swore that was a smile forming on his lips as she babbled back to him.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Daddy I thought you said my brother would be here."

"I did too piquita but he went to Puerto Rico for Christmas."

"Why did he go there?"

"That's where his abuelita and abuelito live but right after Christmas you're going to meet him. His mom and I have been working on it."

_His mom and I,_ Olivia knew there was nothing going on between Nick and Cynthia but every time she heard any reference to Nick and her, she got this uneasy feeling.

"The ham is delicious." Nick's mom commented.

"It came from the honey baked ham store." Olivia told her.

"I always want to eat the outside first." She said.

"Me too Nick said."

"I think will do this for Easter, it's no muss no fuss and it tastes so much better than what you get at the super market." His mom said.

"I'm stuffed." Olivia said.

"Can we open presents now?" Zara asked.

"After we clean up sweetheart." Her abuelita told her.

"Olivia you sit since you did all this preparation Nick and I will clear the table." Nick wiped his mouth setting down his fork surrendering his appetite then got up to help his mother.

"Olivia is Leo awake now?" She checked her wrist watch.

"It's almost 6 so he should be getting up soon for a feeding." They crossed into the living room where the baby was in his playpen. Just like clockwork he was in the waking up stages. He turned his head from left to right opening and closing his eyes, stretching out his legs then wiping at his face with his hands.

"Oooh you smell that Zara?" He began to fuss.

"He pooped didn't he?"

"He sure did. Can you get me a diaper and the yellow box of wet wipes over there?"

"Sure."

"Ok my sweet love we're gonna get you cleaned up now. Yeah, how about that my precious. Mmmm I love you Leo." Olivia never missed a moment showering her son with love and attention.

"Thanks sweetie." Zara watched as Olivia changed him holding her nose.

"It's a stinky one." She told Zara. "Ok all done. Want to hold him?"

"He might be too heavy for me."

"I'll help you." Olivia put him in Zara's lap as she cradled just him just like a pro. Nick and his mother had been talking about Maria becoming suspicious if Zara did mention spending Christmas Eve at Olivia's. Nick assured her not to worry that he would explain it to Maria if she asked him.

"I'll be right back with a bottle." Leo was wide eyed when Olivia retuned sitting on the floor.

"Does Leo have a daddy?"

"He does but I adopted him so I don't know who his daddy his, it was all done privately through a lawyer's office." Zara looked up at Olivia like she had antennas sprouting from the top of her head. Olivia was ready for any questions Zara may have about her own pregnancy but for some reason the kid never asked about that. Nick and his mom entered after finishing the clean-up.

"Ok I think we're ready to see what Santa brought." Nick said. An hour later the three prepared to leave.

"Merry Christmas Olivia, thank you for a lovely evening." She said patting her hand.

"You're welcome and Merry Christmas." Olivia next leaned down to meet Zara's gaze.

"Good night Zara it was nice having you here for dinner tonight and thank you for my lovely gift, it's beautiful. I hear Santa is going to be busy tonight." She smiled looking up at Nick as she hugged his daughter.

"I may have to buy out the rest of the seats on the train just to make room for all your gifts piquita." Zara held her arms up locking hands with Nick, leaning against his legs laughing. After they left Olivia shut off all the lights and turned in early. Her feet were starting to swell from the salty foods and her back hurt.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"I'm so glad you don't have New Year's Eve shift tomorrow." He straightened is tie in the mirror as she laid on in the middle of the bed with the baby watching him.

"Me too now I can spend a nice quiet New Year's Eve with my ladies and my little man." Nick said turning around looking at how content she was lying there with Leo kissing his naked belly. He bent over half on the bed half off stretching to kiss Leo then Olivia then his daughter.

"I'll see you later."

"Bye."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

In a little more than a week Olivia would be entering her 7th month. Sex had become pretty much obsolete with her libido. Just finding a comfortable position on bed was a chore anymore. She felt bad for Nick whose libido was in high gear most nights that he slept alongside her.

"There isn't enough time." They stood encircled in each other's arms in the middle of her bedroom kissing lightly.

"Shhh there's time." He said kissing her neck.

"I think I heard him."

"You did not hear him." Nick laughed through his kissing on her neck.

"Shhhh you're right I didn't hear him." They moved over to the bed gently falling into the covers. Olivia removed her sweater and bra as he transformed from fully clothed to nude in nano second. They lay side by side as he felt her belly push up against his. Nick traced over her soft warm skin with his fingertips while his lips busied themselves against her cheek then her earlobe finally coming to the crook of her neck. His hands smoothed down her back, her hip then her leg that rested on his hip

"What is this?

"It's my foot what did you think it was?" She said giggling because it tickled.

"I don't know an animal maybe like a squirrel or a turtle or something."

You are so seriously deranged." She pushed his hand away from her foot.

"What are you doing?" Olivia said.

"It's weird I can't feel anything when I touch it, it feels like it should be mine."

"I can feel it." Olivia said climbing atop him.

"I really miss you, I do kind of like this with the night lights on." She said giggling, assaulting his mouth with wet kisses. She opened her eyes only to find his piercing hers in the dim light with deep intent.

"Nick are you ok?"

"I LOVE YOU." He whispered before his mouth crashed onto hers. Their lovemaking was becoming intense. Not having sex in the last two weeks really had built up the need in Nick.

"Wait! Wait wait wait! Stop!" The monitor blinked to every one of his cries and stirs.

"What? Why are you stopping?" Leo's cries were becoming more audible now.

"It's not that bad maybe he'll go back to sleep." Nick told her continuing his kisses through his strokes. Olivia tried her best to get back into it with him but she just couldn't ignore the baby's cries for help. Nick sighed as she helped him roll off her. Olivia grabbed her robe and he lay diagonal in their bed, the look of disappointment evident on his face. He got up a few moments later, closing the bathroom door.


	23. Chapter 23 A little Flirting never hurt

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews. I can't believe how many hits the story has collected and it's all due to each of you so thank you from the bottom of my heart! You rock :D**

Due to the Christmas holiday and a busy time of year for furnaces to blow out, the earliest appointment Olivia could get with an HVAC company was the second week of January. Nick came from the basement behind the maintenance man with a load of clean laundry. "Ok mam everything checked out fine. I ran some fixer through your main pipe, it was clogged and put in a new filter and adjusted your temperature setting so you should be warm now."

"Thank you, I feel the warmth already." she said putting aside the laundry she was currently folding, sitting on the living room floor. He handed her the bill and she reviewed it. "Let me write you a check." She handed him the check and he went on his way. It was 6 o'clock now and no dinner had been made, the kitchen still had dishes left from breakfast and empty bottles that needed washing so Nick decided he would bathe Leo and put him to bed to give Olivia a break.

She peeked in on them in the bathroom holding a basket full of folded clothes, some belonging to the baby, others hers and a few items belonging to Nick.

He had the baby sitting in the sink with his hand firmly behind him with a pool of water around his bottom, splashing with his tiny hands. Nick was sponging him down and little Leo loved the feel of the water trickling down his skin as he cooed and stared at Nick who pretended to be a giant waterfall coming to wash him away.

"Who's getting the bath?" Olivia said standing in the doorway. Nick looked over at her smiling. "Is it me or do all babies radiate or just him?"

"Just him, he's perfect." Olivia said. She smiled at them then turned and left. When he was done and Leo asleep in his crib he joined Olivia in the living room only to find her stretched out on the couch resting.

"Sweetie you hungry?" She didn't respond. "Never mind." He walked past her heading to the kitchen. On the floor in front of her was a pile of freshly laundered burp cloths, onsies, wash cloths and assorted baby clothes.

"Sorry I just needed to rest for a second." He came back out and asked her if she wanted to order take out.

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance today to get to the market, I will tomorrow." Nick placed the order.

"Do you have any plans to finish the basement and unpack the boxes down there?"

"When I get the time, in case you haven't noticed I have a baby to take care of, one on the way, laundry, cook dinner, and clean the house." Nick stood with a blank look on his picking up a receiving blanket and putting back in his playpen.

"Ok sorry I asked." He said sitting in the chair next to her.

"You could help me more you know." She told him.

"Wha- wait a minute, I changed him, gave him a bath and put him to bed…I come home from work…what…do you think I don't do anything all day?"

"And what do you think I do all day? I have cleaned up two times today I just haven't cleaned up since 4:00 so it's a mess right now."

"Nick let out a long sigh looking at her as she started to sit up. Olivia started to sob which brought Nick over to the edge of the couch cushion.

"Today when he's crying for an hour and I don't know what to do and I finally get him to stop." He put his arms around her as she fell into his shoulder crying.

"Shhh…he was crying for an hour? What was wrong with him?"

"I don't know nothing I guess. I rocked him, gave him a bottle and then he calmed down."

"It'll all be ok Liv."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"You know we could make another bedroom downstairs or two, there's so much potential and the babies are going to need a playroom." He said over their Italian dinner they ordered in.

"What do you think it would cost to finish it off?"

"$20,000 or less."

"$20,000?" Olivia looked as if she had sticker shock.

"Talk to Sam, Fin's brother he's sure to have contractor friends from his plumbing days and I'll see if any of my old buddies are willing to make a little side money hanging dry wall."

"Ok I'll look into it."

"Great if we get the drywall hung by next week maybe we can have a few people over for your birthday and play some adult games down there." Olivia rolled her eyes shaking her head at him.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"No problem Liv I'll give Sam a call see if knows anyone."

"Thanks Fin." The next day Fin's brother in law sent over a carpenter named Dave Peters. He was about twenty seven maybe Twenty eight or nine with piercing blue eyes and rippling arms.

"Hi I'm Olivia."

"Dave Peters nice to meet you. Hi are you my helper?" he asked bending down talking to Leo.

"This is Leo and believe me you don't want him as your helper he naps too much." Dave laughed then wrote up an estimate for her. Olivia was in the middle of making dinner when Nick arrived. He waved at Leo in his carrier atop of the kitchen table then came up behind her kissing the base of her neck. She turned around kissing him back.

"Estimate's on the table." She told him pulling away.

"$5,000 to just hang dry wall?" Nick said flabbergasted looking over the estimate.

"We'll have to sell Leo and the new baby too."

"Nick!" Olivia said wide eyed chuckling.

"I'll make some calls." He said. Nick came up empty with his buddies from narcotics. "Negotiate with him tell him firm $3,500 is all you can do." Nick told her. "Construction business is slow right now." They bartered back and forth until finally settling on $3,900.00. The next day Dave got to work early just missing Nick. Olivia was in the middle of putting Leo down to nap when the doorbell rang. Olivia thought it was just the mail man dropping off a package that didn't quite fit in her mailbox.

"Alex! Oh-what are- how are you? Come in." The two women hugged.

"I stopped by the squad room and I'm literally in shock that they told me you were on maternity leave and expecting your second child. My goodness Olivia I go away for less than a year and look what I come back to! I'm so happy for you…DO TELL." The noise from the dry wall saw drounded them out so she closed the basement door. Olivia fixed Alex something to drink and filled her in.

"Oh my god I can't believe a good Christian woman could ever do such a thing in the first place but I am happy that it all worked out for you in the end and who's this baby belong to?" Olivia sipped her ice tea smiling behind the rim of her cup.

"A good friend."

"That's some good friend." Leo made noise so Olivia excused herself to go check on him. Dave came upstairs to get a drink.

"Hi." Alex said noticing him coming through the door.

"Hi, I'm Dave." He was covered in dry wall dust from head to toe.

"Alex, I'm a friend of Liv's."

"I um…I'm finishing off the basement for Olivia." He definitely had eyes for Alex as she did him too. Olivia returned. "I'm just gonna…go get a drink…in…the kitchen." He pointed in that direction as Alex watched smiling.

"Oh I see you both have met."

"Yeah." They said at the same time.

"Don't sit there, dust! Dust everywhere, in Leo's hair, in his milk."

"Very funny Olivia." Dave said.

"I'm outta here." Olivia said.

"Ok bye." Alex said. She caught up to Olivia in the living room gasping. "I'm staying here you can go to work in my place."

"Huh?"

"He's so cute I can't believe you haven't noticed Liv!" she said whispering full giddiness.

"No I didn't notice."

"I can't believe you didn't notice him in your own house. Olivia, oh my god that is major hotness in there." Alex said laughing falling into Olivia.

"Ok watch this." Olivia entered the kitchen seeing Dave finishing his drink.

"I…just need a…whisk, right I need a whisk." She grabbed one from the utensil caddy nearly running out of the kitchen. Dave could do nothing but wipe his mouth from where the soda dribbled on his chin. He set his glass down exiting.

"What's that?" Alex looked at her strange.

"A whisk." Just then Dave passed by smiling at them. After he closed the basement door behind him, Olivia and Alex went into a fit of giggles.

"He is cute." Olivia said. "I can't believe I didn't notice."

"He is hot! So what do we do about it?"

"What do you mean we? You go in there and do something about it!" Olivia told her friend.

"What do I do, go in there and start talking about tools?" Alex buried her head in Olivia's shoulder laughing.

"Equipment." Olivia said flipping her brows up. They busted into laughter.

"You're not even going to talk to him, you're such a coward. When was the last time you got up the nerve to talk to one of those hot defense attorney's?" Olivia asked.

"I'm still working on it." She said blowing air through her mouth making her lips vibrate. "Oh what's the use, we'd go out for two weeks, he'd have these great big strong arms, we'd get all sweaty then he'd get intimidated because I make more money than he does."

"I don't know you should see what he charges." They laughed so hard like school girls discovering their first guy crush. After a while Alex made her excuses to leave.

"Don't be a stranger hear me?" Olivia said. You have to see Leo next time."

"I won't Liv, it was so good to see you again. Did I miss your birthday?"

"Nope it's next week." They hugged good bye. Dave was cleaned up and gone before Nick arrived.

"It's looking great down there, Mr. Peters should be finished before the end of the week." Nick said.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Dave, Dave can you take a break or bang a little lighter?"

"Oh he's napping huh?"

"Yeah, why don't take your break and I'll have my twentieth cup of coffee." They moved upstairs to the kitchen. Olivia went to get a cup out of the cupboard but he was in her way leaning against the counter with a suction toy of Leo's in his hand. She bumped into him not seeing him there.

"Excuse me." she said.

"Sorry." He moved to stand in front of the refrigerator then she went to the refrigerator to get the cream out.

"Excuse me."

"Sorry again."

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked looking at him oddly.

"What? This doesn't go like this?" He was attempting to suction the toy to his forehead.

"No." she told him. He picked up a Rocky the squirrel doll emulating Rocky's voice from the cartoon show. Olivia picked up his lead and emulated Bullwinkle's voice then they switched to all-time favorite from Sesame Street. She was Bert and he was Ernie. Dave felt comfortable flirting and hopped up on the counter laughing. Olivia even enjoyed the amusing stroll down her childhood memory lane.

"Wait I got a good one." She said breaking out into a lyric. **"_H.R. Puffin stuff where do you go when things get rough?"_ **The phrase she recited didn't register with him. He thought for a second.

"Hannah Barbara?" Olivia looked at him…hoping a light bulb would go off. Dave still had a blank stare.

"Oh yeah the Banana Splits, boy that was a long time ago." he said trying to save face but it wasn't working. Olivia really felt her age now with this older twenty something.

"Right." She said lifting her eyebrows.

"That was really the 70's, wow you're old." She scoffed at his bluntness.

"Thanks for noticing Dave." she said hurt.

"You're not too old you're kinda just the right amount." Olivia stared straight ahead feeling old while Dave stared at her profile until she heard Leo cry.

"Yeah…bye." Olivia said leaving him in the kitchen.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Dave will be finished tomorrow and he's offered to paint?"

"He's just looking for more money Liv I'll paint…wait Dave? Excuse me?" Nick looked at her with a pang of jealousy.

"Yeah that's his name."

"What else have we learned about Daaave?" He said sarcastically chuckling at her.

"Nick, are you jealous that I know the man working in our basement is named Dave?"

"Me jealous? Haha that's really funny Olivia. Wait, did you just say…our basement?"

"Yes our basement and WE can paint…if I wear one of those allergen masks." She turned off her light, kissed him long then rolled over and went to sleep.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Olivia was scooping coffee into the machine and Dave was standing behind her watching. "So Dave you're finishing up today, it looks great can't thank you enough."

"My pleasure…buttttt you don't want me to paint huh?"

"No, Nick and I can handle that."

"I like that, a couple's project. I can see that with you two." He opened the white bag that had red stains on the side and pulled out a jelly donut offering her a bite. His gesture took her by surprise. Olivia opened her mouth letting him feed her, taking a bite with a little jelly oozing down her chin. He reached over and wiped it off her chin licking the sweet pectin. Olivia pulled back from him knowing where this may lead.

"Dave."

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Making my day, my week, my month."

"I don't get it." He looked at her rather sad.

"Yeah you do and that's ok." She smiled at him.

"Well uh…I guess this isn't going to happen huh." He added. Olivia shook her head no.

"Not in this millennium at least and you…you'd have no problem with this would you Dave?" Olivia eyed him wondering why it was so easy for men to just tap it and go.

"No."

"God this was fun, I mean you're talking to someone who's been out of touch recently with the world this past month…oh shut up Liv."

"No finish please." He said.

Because I spend every day with baby food on my clothes and in my hair and in two months I get to do this all over again. What can I say; I'm beholden to you Macaulay Connor."

"What who?"

"What Katherine Hepburn said to Jimmy Stewart...**"Philadelphia Story**? Never mind Dave, I'll go get my check book." Olivia smiled scoffing at his innocence.

*Olivia's thoughts*

_Most women in their forties are beginning to enter menopause and some face mid-life crisis's. I'm 45 and pregnant and I have a three month old joined to my hip and now this past week I had a twenty something gorgeous guy have an interest in me. Suddenly I feel young again like I'm back in college and vibrant like I never lost it._


	24. Chapter 24 Happy birthday Olivia

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews. I can't believe how many hits the story has collected and it's all due to each of you so thank you from the bottom of my heart! You rock :D**

Olivia sat in the kitchen opposite Nick watching him take the last bite of his french toast. The portable baby monitor sat on the counter displaying a solid red light. Leo's breathing was calm and even. "That was delicious honey thank you but you didn't have to get up early to make me breakfast."

"I wanted to, you've been so incredibly amazing putting up with me these past few months with my moods and I just appreciate you." He got up with his plate in hand stepping closer to her leaning down giving her a peck on the lips.

"Yeah but I love you." Nick said turning to the sink to leave his dishes. He stopped and gave it a thought then rinsed off his plate and silverware and deposited them into the dishwasher along with his glass.

"I love you too Nick, I love you very much." Olivia said watching him from behind.

"I know." He said with confidence and a smile. He looked at the monitor then his watch. It was 6:15.

"Shouldn't he be up by now?"

"Soon and if you wake him up I'll slit your throat." Olivia rolled out a cute laugh and smirk all in one. He scoffed at her coming over bending down to look into her eyes. She held his tie keeping him close.

"Call me later?" she asked.

"Only if you tell me what you're wearing when I do." She tossed her head to the side raising her eyebrows at him. Their lips met slowly turning into a small battle of position. Olivia snaked her hand around the base of his neck, allowing her mouth to fully cover his, her tongue explored inside his tasting the residue of syrup on his breath. Nick circled her tongue with his before retreating from her mouth and giving her a slow peck. "Oooo-k I'm ready for work!" he said standing perfectly upright.

"Love you baby." She told him. He kissed his fingers placing them on her belly giving her a wink as he turned around and walked out.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Hi." Cynthia said opening her door to receive Nick and Zara.

"Hi."

"This must be Zara, your dad was right you're so pretty."

"Thank you." Zara told her holding her dad's hand rather tight.

"Oh-where are my manners-come in." Nick smiled down at his daughter putting his hand on her back walking in after her.

"Gil! Mijo…Nick is here." In a few seconds he came bounding down the stairs.

"Hi Nick!"

"Hey kiddo how are you?"

"Good-I'm good." He stared at Zara flinching a smile at her.

"Gil this is my daughter Zara and your sister, Zara this is Gil, your brother."

"Hi it's nice to meet you Zara." Gil said extending his hand.

"Hi." She shook his hand loosely practically just shaking his finger instead of his whole hand. She was shier than normal and Nick smiled making their excuses to go so no one felt any more awkward or nervous.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"So a large pepperoni pie ok with you two?" Gil shook his head yes and Zara said yes almost inaudible so Nick had to lean down asking her if she said yes. She would look at Gil across the table but when he made eye contact with her she would look away smiling. Nick gave the order to the waiter. It was awkward at first but surprisingly Gil broke the ice between him and his half-sister.

"So have you met the President of the United States yet?" Gil asked her.

"No." she said laughing.

"Been to the white house?"

"No, wait daddy have I been to the white house?"

"Yes honey but not inside, last year you and your mom went to the Easter egg roll on the lawn of the white house.

"Oh yeah that's right." Zara smiled at Nick scooting closer to her father hugging his arm.

"Zara tell Gil who you did see last month." She looked up at her daddy with big curious eyes.

"Remember?" she pondered for a moment.

"Selena Gomez!"

"Really you met her, wow you're lucky. How did you meet her?"

"My mommy took me to see her."

"Zara's favorite tv show is the Wizards of Waverly Place and the cast was in D.C. for interviews and her mom pulled some strings and she got to meet the cast."

"Way cool! So what other shows do you watch Zara?"

"Um Phineas and Ferb, Austin and Ally." She looked at her father for help. "What other shows do I watch daddy?"

"Sweetie you know what you watch on tv don't ask me." Nick told her chuckling. A silence fell over her while she thought, or more less giggled.

"What do you watch Gil?" Nick asked him.

"I like Phineas and Ferb too, I like Sponge Bob, the Simpsons, Drake and Josh but it's not on anymore, Monday Night Raw."

"What! That's so fake, oh man Gil."

"Uh-uh it's not fake!"

"Really? When do you ever see anyone stay on the canvas after being smashed over the head with a metal chair or get up with no broken bones or facial lacerations after being clothes lined huh?"

"Aw come on Nick!" he whined with a chuckle. "It's not fake I like it."

"Your mom lets you watch that?" Nick's smile not quite big as his eyes couldn't believe anyone would watch such propaganda.

"Yeah I used to go to the matches with Roberto." _Roberto! The drug peddling bastard that had no problem using you as his delivery service, fucking asshole! _Nick thought as he tipped his glass back chewing on his ice cubes with force_. _A few moments worth of silence fell upon them as they waited for their dinner. After dinner Nick left the tip and the trio was on their way to the movies.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

When Nick arrived back at Olivia's she wasn't on the main level of the house. He called for her.

"Down here." She said from the basement.

"What are you doing down here?"

"Inventory."

"Inventory?" Nick was impressed as he took a panoramic view of opened boxes. She grabbed his belt loop on his jeans pulling him closer.

"Kiss me and tell me how your evening went with the kids."

"With pleasure." They started off with two slow pecks enveloping into a deeper kiss until Olivia realized why she was in the basement in the first place. Nick gave her bottom a tender pat as she took him by the hand leading him to the crawl space.

"It was good they hit it off."

"Oh good I'm so glad." she turned back smiling at him.

"Yeah me too."

"Ok so yeah I started to do inventory of what I don't need in these boxes and then I discovered this." She showed him an old trunk that was in the crawl space under the kitchen.

"You went in there Liv? It's dirty and moldy most likely."

"I was careful I just shined the light that's all and I saw that and these." She handed him old letters from a soldier who served in World War II.

"They're love letters." Nick said pulling out the chest into the open.

"Mm-hmm." Olivia said.

"You've read them huh." He dusted it off with his hand and then both sat down on top of the trunk.

"Just a few hundred" Nick looked at her with unbelievable eyes.

"No only three." She chuckled.

"This must have been his foot locker from boot camp." Nick said skimming through the letter.

"The 40's were magical times, stardust, the big band era." Olivia leaned her head onto his shoulder.

"It was a time of war how romantic can that be Liv? See that's why we were attacked because of…what's his name?"

"Roy." She told him

"Yeah right, see there you go, Roy was too busy with his head in the clouds writing love letters to his girl back here in NY to be alert to fight the Japs." Olivia stood up scoffing at his impractical conception of romance.

"Oh Nick where's your romantic imagination?" He grabbed for her hand.

"I have a romantic side in case you haven't noticed." He placed his hand on her stomach staring at her." She smiled back. He handed her back the letters and took a good look around at Dave the carpenter's handy work.

"It looks so more defined down here now compared to before when it was all framed in. He did a nice job." Olivia let her mind think back to a week ago where she felt her mojo hadn't been lost being a middle aged pregnant woman and she she smiled at the left over thoughts of a twenty something year old attracted to her. She took her seat next to him again.

"Honey look at this picture, this is her and this must be them and they lived here." Olivia said showing Nick a picture that was inside one of the letters.

"Wow U.S. Army Airforce 2nd airborne." Nick said. "They flew in the Doolittle Raid over Japan. He noticed from his peripheral vision her eyes glued to the picture. "Admit it babe you're just hot for the uniform." He said taking the picture out of her hands.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"You're just jealous because you don't even have a uniform." She said wrestling him for the picture back, falling into his arms.

"Oh yes I do…I have a cub scouts uniform." They shared a good laugh and he cradled her in his lap as she gazed up at him. They kissed and then they kissed some more.

"Mmm." Olivia hummed against his mouth.

"I think we need go upstairs now." Nick said leading Olivia by the hand but she pulled back on his hand grabbing the portable monitor and a stack of unread letters. He smiled at her sentimental nostalgic mood.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"He'll be fine Liv for a few hours. My mom had two kids she's experienced."

"I know that Nick, it's not your mom I'm worried about, its leaving him so soon that worries me."

"We'll just go up the road to a local eatery instead of going into the city how's that sound?"

"Ok but I was really looking forward to that new place in SoHo."

"Ok then it's settled, we'll go have a nice birthday dinner then come straight home."

"Alright what time you finished up there?"

"I'll leave at 4, pick up my mom then be there." Leo started to cry in the background.

"I'll make the reservations, bye."

"Bye." He pulled up to the precinct and walked in.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

"Wow you-look-so-beautiful Liv." His mother was content loving all over the baby waiting for them to come from the bedroom.

"Thank you, I ordered this online but I wasn't sure it was going to fit."

"It fits you perfect." he told her slapping his cheeks and neck with cologne. She admired her pregnant form in the mirror then scrounged through her jewelry box for matching earrings.

"I'll see you out there." He came up behind her giving her shoulders a light squeeze, kissing her cheek. Olivia puckered her lips feeling his 5'oclock stubble. Olivia appeared shortly after.

"Happy birthday Olivia my you look so beautiful, here this is for you."

"Thank you Lupe you didn't have to and thank you for watching Leo."

"You're welcome, he's precious and such a good baby too." She opened the box and gasped.

"It's beautiful! Thank you." She hugged his mom, kissing her cheek.

"Welcome dear." Olivia put down the box taking the sterling silver mother and child necklace out of the box.

"Would you?"

"Sure." Nick said. She held up her hair as he unfastened her strand of pearls.

"Yeah he is I can't complain. I only hope she is too." She held her belly with her free hand giving it a light shake. Lupe gave Nick the new necklace taking her pearls from him.

"I'm sure she will be she has two great parents with good genes." _Good genes huh? _She thought. _Nick has good genes; I have a rapist and alcoholic for a father and an alcoholic mother, yeah good genes alright. _She patted the necklace as Nick as his mom approved of how it adorned her neck.

"One sec I need to change my earrings." She came back with a new pair of ear accessories.

"Ready birthday girl?" Nick said all smiles. She shook her head yes bending down planting kisses on her son.

"I love you my sweet boy, see you soon." He went in out of sleep yawning as she went to give him one more kiss.

"Be back in a little bit ma."

"Have a good time don't worry about us." Nick and Olivia smiled at them as they exited the house.

Nick opened her door for her but before she got in she held her stomach.

"Oooo now she really wants to move around."

"Yeah?" he asked. She took his hand placing it where the baby moved.

"Oh my god that was a big one this time. Maybe she doesn't like beef huh? I guess she's telling us get ready."

"Get ready? Bite your tongue, she's got two more months so she needs to stay in until it's time, I'm done with nicu's." He smiled and squeezed her hand as they drove home.

When they arrived home Nick took out the small 8 inch round cake he bought and he and his mom sang happy birthday to Olivia.


	25. Chapter 25 The circle of life

Olivia was busy changing Leo when her phone rang. "Who could that be? Maybe Nick, well whoever it is they're just gonna have to wait because right now I'm all yours." She kissed Leo's tummy and he cooed grabbing for her face then her hair that dangled so close to his flailing hands. After he was changed she went to see who had called. Shifting Leo to her left hip she picked up her phone and saw that it was Alex who called.

"Hey Liv I want to take you to a post birthday lunch."

"Well how about ordering something here and we'll catch up, what time are you coming over?"

"Uh well I was thinking more of like taking you out."

"Alex I have a baby in my care in case you didn't know and I just can't leave him at home while I go out to lunch."

"Can't you get a sitter?"

"Oh sure let me just open the phone book and pick any number of them out…come on Alex." Olivia's disappointment at her friend's lack of knowledge to having a kid and responsibilities was outspoken in her conscience.

"Sorry, ok I have an idea bring him with you; I haven't seen Leo yet either."

"Alex I don't know."

"It'll be great, tomorrow, 12:30 Columbus Circle? Then we can decide whatever we feel like eating."

"Alright I'll see you then."

"Bye."

"Bye."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Cap'n we got a problem." Fin said leaning on the doorknob to his office and the other hand on the door frame.

"And that would be?"

"Our perp will only speak to Liv. Says he knows her from a case she arrested him for 10 years ago."

"Great it's come to this now, humps picking the detective they want interrogating them." Don Cragen rose following Fin to the room.

"Mr. Yates, Detective Benson is on leave so she's temporarily unavailable. Detective Tutuola and Detective Rollins are more than qualified to handle your interview."

"I'm not talking to two yutzes, I want Detective Benson or give me my lawyer." Captain Cragen had just about lost his patience with his hump. He fingered his two detectives to come outside the room.

"Give us a moment Mr. Yates and we'll do our best to get Detective Benson on video to conduct your interview." The grease ball leaned back in his chair with a half bitten toothpick hanging from his mouth grinning at the three as they disgustingly exited the room from the foul odor coming from their alleged suspect.

Olivia glanced at the number calling her, it was her captain."

"Captain what's up?" Her first thought was that Nick had been injured; it was always her first thought now that she wasn't in the field working cases with him.

"Liv I'm sorry to bother while you're on leave but do you remember a Mr. Tom Yates from a case back in 2003?" Olivia thought, _Tom Yates, Tom Yates, _she said in her head. Finally she connected the name with the crime at that time.

"Yes why?"

"He's in our squad room requesting that only you question him. Is there any chance you're available to Skype with him from home?"

"If you give me about an hour and email me the details then yes." This is just what she needed, to still feel like she hasn't lost her edge being missing from action these past few months. She remembered this vicious rapist; he claimed his innocence but only got out of prison on a technicality during his appeals process.

"Great will stall him until then…and Liv…thanks."

"No problem."

"You're in luck Mr. Yates it turns out Detective Benson is available to interview you, will be ready in about an hour." The hump gave Captain Cragen a smile as fake as a 3 dollar bill.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Detective Benson how are you these days? You're just as beautiful as you were 10 years ago and by the looks of you you've been well. I just wish I was the lucky bastard who knocked you up." He could see as plain as day as Olivia took her position in front of the camera's eye she was very pregnant. She was almost 8 months now.

"Shut up! Let's begin as to why you raped Monica Divorchiack, Pricilla Davis and Amy Yuhasse."

"I didn't rape any of those sluts, that bitch last night; she was drunk she hit on me."

"Oh please spare me. What happened Tom? You got soft so out of frustration you get rough and forced yourself on her? Only except she fought back, so please, you got off on a minor tech 10 years ago, we all knew you raped Monica and you killed Pricilla, even your wife was suspicious of your actions and the spouses always know first."

"Shut your filthy mouth you bitch! You planted that evidence against me 10 years ago; it's taken me almost all of those to earn my wife's trust back, she believes me now. You had in for me O-liv-ia just like you do now. What? Is it every man that's accused of rape is on your short list because of your personal connection with your mother?" It only been two months now since she had interrogated a suspect and could feel her blood already boiling with this piece of shit.

"I'm sorry did I strike a nerve? You work in a forensic lab, you know how to cover up trace evidence but you know what I'm glad you wore a condom last night because the thought of you impregnating that poor girl and your rapist genes running around this Earth sickens me!"

"Rapist genes? Have you looked in the mirror lately Olivia.? My kids will have iq's of 180 or better." Yates sneered at her.

"God help us that you don't sire any children." Olivia was already pissed and starting to feel exhausted after almost completing one hour of interrogation. Her co-workers watched from Cragen's office silently cheering her on. She was the best of the best getting inside perps heads. Finally after giving Mr. Yates a bathroom break they went back at it for almost 2 more hours. She excused herself to answer her phone.

"He's almost there Liv, cast your line this one's a big sucker." Nick said on the other line.

"That was the lab they're running a sample of saliva found in your car and hair fibers, apparently you left your calling card Tom so this time the charge will stick too bad huh?" That was one of the oldest plays in the book to use on suspects but Olivia was running out of patience and time with him.

"We we're never in my car so you're lying again!"

"Pricilla wasn't but Amy was so I got you dirt bag."

"Amy doesn't have any hair she's going through chemo so you didn't find any hair. Stop manufacturing evidence detective."

"So she was in your car after all, just without hair." Checkmate. Fin high fived his partner then high fived Nick after watching how smooth Olivia was in getting Tom to slip up. The look on his face was priceless and apparently Mr. Yates wasn't finished with is ranting to Olivia

"That whore was going to tell my wife and do you know I'm sitting on a multi-million dollar cloning deal with investors. I wasn't going to let her ruin it so I cut her a piece of the pie but I wasn't going home without a little thank you first." Fin and Amanda left Don Cragen's office to slap the cuffs on him and a one way ticket to Rikers.

"Nice work Olivia." Don said before ending the session. She smiled back at him before closing down her iPad. Later that night as they lay in bed Nick praised her.

"You know Liv after you retire you should teach."

"Teach?"

"Yeah these rookies coming up the ranks who want to upgrade from a beat, they could use a good interview techniques class run by an experienced person, such as yourself." She rubbed a patch of his chest hair between her fingers.

"I don't know maybe, that's 5 years down the pike before I can retire." She lifted her head up prompting him to meet her lips.

"Goodnight, love you."

"Night love you too."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Alex had already been seated drinking a glass of white wine when Olivia entered the restaurant with Leo.

"I don't know what happened, I was right across the street, I was early too, then I saw this incredibly cute outfit."

"It's fine, Liv sit sit." Alex motioned with her hand for Olivia to take a seat. "Man I'm so tired I've been in the office until 11 all this week, look at the bags underneath my eyes. Training all these newbies is wearing me out." Olivia took her son out of his stroller and sat down patting Alex on her hand smiling at her friend.

"How's your stomach been?" Olivia asked. Leo started to cry and squirm in her arms as she tried to remove his coat.

"Terrible! Just terrible, it's stress, total stress I tell ya."

"Is he ok?" Alex asked looking very concerned at the baby's red face and mouth wide open displaying his uvula that vibrated with every wail. The tther patrons began to turn their heads at the noise.

"I think he's coming down with a cold. I probably gave it to him." _Actually it was Nick who was running a cold and still is that's being passed around the house but I can't say that to you Alex without revealing my relationship with him_. Olivia said to herself.

"He's so cute Liv." Olivia was trying to make Leo comfortable by holding him tight to her chest patting his back talking softly to him then trying to switch positions against her body but nothing was working. She tried giving him a bottle but he pushed it away.

"Thanks." The restaurant patrons were really gawking at Olivia, Alex and the baby now who was crying uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry Alex I'm going to have to take him home, something's wrong with him, I'll call the pediatrician."

"You don't think he'll stop?"

"Alex!"

"I mean it's nobody's business as to why he's crying!" Alex said turning around looking at the customers.

"It's not them, something's bothering him, I just can't ignore it." Olivia added.

"Oh, oh I'm sorry yeah sure you should go. Maybe we could do this again next week and you could get a sitter?" Olivia looked sad at her friend as she put a coat on Leo and put him in his stroller.

"Sorry I was looking forward to having lunch with you and catching up."

"It's fine go, go go go. Wait Liv, here for you." She handed a card to Olivia.

"Thanks I'll call you." The other luncher's looked relieved Olivia was leaving.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Nick and Olivia had started their Lamaze and parenting classes a month before she was due. He informed her during a break in the class that he was going to Delaware tomorrow for an undercover assignment and she was nervous that there was a possibility she could go into early labor.

"I don't like it any more than you do being so close to your delivery date but what am I supposed to do Liv tell Cragen I can't because I have to be ready in case our baby comes early?"

"Why did you tell me this?"

"And if I didn't you'd chew me a new one for not telling you."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Nick and Munch teamed up with the Delaware State Police to take down a serial rapist who recently was paroled and had raped again. Their suspect had fled from New York to Wilmington, DE. They believed he had an 8 year old girl with him. Nick took out his shirt and tie from his suitcase and hung it up over the closet door.

"Hey Nick I'm going to go across the street and get a bite to eat you want to go?"

"No that's ok I'm just gonna crash early."

"You ok?"

"Yeah just tired." Nick actually lied, what he really wanted was some privacy to call Olivia and hear her voice. Texting her just wasn't the same. Sergeant Munch had been his twin shadow all day since arriving on their assignment so this was a great opportunity for them to be separated.

"I don't mean to pry Nick but how is Maria doing? I don't get much of a chance to talk to you lately."

"She's been battling the flu or some bug she caught but other than that she's fine."

"And the divorce?"

"Actually we're going to move ahead with it now; I put a hold on it when she discov-well you know all this already man…so it'll be official soon." Nick tossed his stress relief ball in the air catching it then repeating. He seemed melancholy and Munch saw this.

"I'm sorry man. I'll bring you back something in case you get hungry later ok bud."

"Sure thanks." He called Olivia and everything was fine. He told her he hoped to wrap up the case by Friday and be home. Their case took 5 days to close. In the span of the 5 days undercover Nick managed to have his phone taken by the perp when he became suspicious of their behavior. Nick was able to retrieve it but it was beyond repairable, at least when he got back to NY he could get TARU to salvage his contacts and memory card. Maria was not feeling well to travel with Zara so Nick went to D.C. the day after he and Munch returned. He picked up Gil and they hoped the train.

"Mommy's sick again, her cancer grew back but the cancer doctor will make her all better like he did last time." She told him after he picked her up. All the color in Nick's face drained away. His daughter wasn't much information as to how sick Maria was and what the plan was for her. By Sunday afternoon when it was time to drop her off, Maria's parents were there. It had been a long while since Nick had seen them and the tension was just as thick as it was before. By the looks on their faces he knew it wasn't good. Maria was up to receive Zara, she had lost a lot weight again and her eyes looked sunken in. Zara's grandmother began to fix her something to eat in the kitchen while Maria's father took his newspaper and headed into the study.

"Maria this is Gil, Gil this is Maria."

"Nice to meet you mam."

"It's nice to meet you too. Nick's talked a lot about you." She noticed right off the bat how much he looked like his father

"Gil can you give us a moment, here's the keys to the rental why don't you go listen to the radio and I'll be right out ok."

"Sure." Nick flipped him the keys. Maria took a seat on the couch opposite Nick in the chair. His face was rather long as he looked at her; the couch seemed to consume her.

"So you're going to do another round of chemo right?" Her silence was almost equitable to a death sentence.

"No Nick…it's spread, there's nothing they can do now." She wiped under her eyes where her tears just seem to pool in the pockets of sunken in skin.

"What do you mean there's nothing they can do, they're doctors for God's sake! They've been known to perform miracles. Does Zara know?" He swallowed his words as is eyes became wet. Maria looked at him, her tears, one after the other, looked down expelling her breath then let her eyes roll back into her head as she stood. The emotion was so raw in her voice.

"That her mother's dying? No she doesn't." Nick rose coming to her. He put his arms around her pulling her to him. His chin rested on top of her head, his tears trickling down his cheeks and onto her hair. He spoke low, his words straining from his throat.

"How long did they say?" Maria sobbed against his chest and when she erected herself and looked him in the eye, what she told him next literally collapsed him.

"Three months or less. Nick I don't want you to wait too long to remarry after I'm gone, please overnight the documents this week."

"Maria how can you talk about that now!" No, I…I just can't…not now." His head fell into his hands as he sucked in his breath.

"Nick please…Olivia is pregnant with your child isn't she?" His face suddenly was ashen as his jaw hit the floor.

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Our daughter is 7 Nick and 7 year olds talk. That was her wasn't it, that day in the park with you and Zara last year?"

"You were there?"

"I went into the city to have lunch with a friend; you didn't expect me to stay cooped up in the hotel all weekend did you? And I did live in NY and we still have friends there."

"Maria, Olivia was alone on Thanksgiving and she's my partner so I thought it would be nice to invite her since she doesn't have any fam-" Maria put her fingers to his lips.

"Shhh, Nick…you don't need to explain it away, I know what it's like to have someone you can talk to, confide in and trust. You will be happy with her, she's beauti-"

"Maria please."

"She'll make you happy and you deserve to be happy and she's very protective of you as all good partners do for one another." Maria looked at his adams apple practically descend into his throat. He was literally shocked at what just came out of her mouth. She touched his cheek in the way she used to at a time when they were happy in their marriage.

"It's alright Nick, really it's alright. You should go your son is waiting." He stood up slow looking at her then looking around the room. He was afraid to blink otherwise more tears would spill out.

"Zara daddy's leaving now come say good bye." Nick quickly changed his demeanor and put on a smile when he saw her come from the other room.

"Daddy are you crying?"

"I was piquita."

"Why."

"I always get sad when I have to say good bye to you but I'll see you soon ok."

"Ok and Gil too?"

"And Gil too."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

That evening back in NY Olivia held Nick close after he told her what Maria knew and what she wished for. The next morning when Nick arrived Captain Cragen called him into his office. When Nick entered Don was closing the blinds and then closed the door behind him. This made Nick nervous but he would wait it out and see what it was.

"TARU dropped this off but you weren't here yet." Don Cragen gave him a piece of paper with the information Nick wanted from his smashed phone.

"Thanks Captain." Nick started to walk out when he froze in his tracks.

"I should rip you both!" Nick turned back around looking his captain square in the eye.

"Let me explain."

"There's nothing you can say that will make me any less furious with the both of you right now. Do you realize the position you have put me in?" He stood behind his large desk, hands firmly tucked in his trousers.

"Yes and that's why we were going to disclose after Olivia had the baby and I was going to put in a transfer to homicide." Don took his hands out of his pockets and charged to the front of his desk inches from Nick's face.

"And you think it works just like that? You're naïve as they come!" Nick stood there speechless, his thumbs resting in his pockets.

"I should turn you in to 1pp but I'm not because you know why Nick? He didn't get a chance to answer his captain. "Because they've screwed me over one to many times for me to even care anymore! You're too good a detective or me to sign your transfer papers so I'm not going to. I've got 1 more year here and then I'm turning in my papers and heading to my cabin in the woods where I can fish and hunt every day and not care about this place one extra minute."

"I'm sorry Captain." His captain softened his tone a bit with his detective.

"Yeah I know you are but you know what real pisser is about this?"

"No, what?"

"For years I thought there was something going on between Olivia and her former partner but I was dead wrong, never once would I have thought it would have been you."

"We didn't plan it, it was something that just fell into place sir."

"Things are going to change when Olivia gets back from maternity leave, you and Munch will partner up more and other times when our not with your current partner, you'll fly solo and you screw up just one time I'll make sure you gain employment as a mall security officer. You got me Nick?"

"Loud and clear sir, loud and clear."

"That's all." He was about to leave. Captain Cragen watched Nick turn back around.

"Just one thing Captain."

"It doesn't matter how I know Nick and you won't begrudge anyone from TARU are we clear?" He nodded as he turned and left. Fin, Amanda and Munch all saw him walk out wondering.

"Alright what's up for today?" Nick said sitting down.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Nick!" He sprung up from his side.

"What what is it?" Looking at her side of the bed then looking around the room noticing the alarm clock at 3:17 a.m. then seeing the light pool across the room from the bathroom, he hurried to her. He stood there rubbing his eyes yawning. Olivia had just made it to the bathroom when her water broke.

"It's time." She said startled and happy standing over the toilet with the bottom of her night gown wet; her breathing had started to become a little laborious now. There was a small puddle of water at the base of her feet.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

She had been in labor for almost 6 hours now, her contractions getting closer and closer. Her ob-gyn came into the room to take another look.

"We're at 7 centimeters now." The baby was pushing down on her pelvic bones for the past 6 hours and it was getting increasingly uncomfortable for her. The anesthesiologist came in to give her an epidural shot. She hated Nick right about now :-D

"You're doing great honey she's going to be here soon. I love you." Nick told her gripping her hand and reaching up to plant a kiss on her forehead then he wiped her face with a cool cloth. This was agony for Olivia as another contraction came. At the tenth hour she was just about 10 cm dilated so they had her scoot down to the edge of the bed and her feet went into the stirrups and she and Nick prepared for the arrival of their baby girl.

"Ok breathe, breathe, breathe that's it Liv bear down, good now breathe, breathe, oh good, yeah Liv you're doing great." She moaned loudly as the pain increased.

"I am!" she said at Nick through gritted teeth and hissy breath.

"I see her head sweetie!" Nick said smiling big.

"You do really you do? Olivia said excited. "I can't hold it any longer it hurts… ow!"

"One more good push oughta do it Olivia." Her ob-gyn directed her. "Ok big breath this time, really bear down. Little bit more Olivia little bit more. Bear down, and big breath, bear down ok good…and here she is." Her ob-gyn stood up smiling handing the baby to the nurse who wiped her off then handed her to Nick.

"Oh good Liv, so good." Nick said looking at his daughter cradling her with a huge smile then looking at Olivia.

"Hi Roxanne, hiii, I'm your dad!" He said bringing her to her mommy's chest.

"She's ok?" Olivia asked through tears, pressing her lips to her daughter's head and her cheeks then turning to kiss Nick and bury her head into his neck sobbing happily.

"She's perfect, just like her mom." His head rested against hers as they marveled in the joy of their newborn daughter.

"Happy birthday Roxanne, I love you sweet baby girl." Olivia said.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

***A/n* So next chapter is the end I just want thank you all for your wonderful reviews, and pm's to clear up any confusion some had. THANK YOU I love you all xoxo! I want to give a big shout out to my cousin Sanoah who helped me so much with writing the character of Olivia. She is 46 and just had a baby 5 years ago so I leaned on her for help with how to write accurately for a middle aged woman and all that entails with a first pregnancy.**


	26. Chapter 26 Be my wife

**Olivia's nurse came in to check on her. Her vitals were stable but the pain was still moderate so she gave her Tylenol and a painkiller for later if she needed help sleeping. Roxanne had gone to the nursery to give new moms and dads rest but Olivia was nervous and fidgety and who could blame her after what happened in Connecticut. The nurse told her they would bring her daughter back and she could stay the remainder of the time with her parents in the room. This delighted her. The staff also brought in a crib for Leo so the family could all be together. Next morning when he awoke, Nick rubbed the back of his neck. The recliner looked comfortable but sleeping in it was a different story.**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

"I had a neighbor once named Leo, we called him Beo Leo, you think people are gonna call our Leo Beo Leo?" Olivia shook her head yes smiling at him. "So Liv, Roxanne…what are we doing with her last name?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, is she going to be Roxanne Benson Amaro or just Roxanne Amaro?

"Nick…honey I love to you to pieces but I just had a baby less than 24 hours ago do you seriously think I want to have this discussion with you right now?"

He was slumped over next to her on her bed, half his lower body hanging off with one leg to the floor as he spoke softly to his daughter who was asleep in her mother's arms. Just then they heard a knock at the door.

"Come in." Nick said. His mother came through with a sleeping Leo in her arms.

"He's asleep she whispered smiling at Nick and Olivia. "He just loves his stroller and being lulled to sleep in it. You did too Nick."

"Lupe you're a godsend I don't know what I'd do without you, thank you." Olivia told her reaching for her hand.

"It's the least I can do, I wish there was more I could do for you both."

"Be our nanny?" Nick said with hopeful eyes.

"That I can not do mijo, who will feed my kids at school? But I will take vacation leave this week to help you get settled Olivia if you wish?"

"I would love that, NO we would love that." She quickly added smiling at Nick, running her fingers through his thick wavy black hair.

"Ma I wish you worked at my school when I went through the lunch line, those ladies were mean who served us."

"Oh that's nonsense you kids were just too picky, all you wanted was junk to eat."

"Times haven't changed much have they?"

"Hey we try our very best to serve healthy balanced meals, it's just when kids get home from school and all they want to do is play on the computer and eat junk and drink soda pop."

"I remember if I wanted a soda to drink I would have to buy it on my way home from school, my mother would never have that stuff in the house. She did buy Twinkies and Ho-Ho's though; she loved her cake and sweets. Nick looked at Olivia. _Alcoholics generally do like sweets because of the high sugar content in wines and when they are not consuming alcohol they need the sugar from other sources. _He thought.

"You're mother knew best Olivia, all it does is rot the teeth." His mom added.

"Nicky you two should talk with your sister, she has a very good baby sitter and I'm sure she could use the extra money, of course when you're ready to go back to work Olivia, not now."

"We just might do that ma." Olivia was more reserved than Nick when it came to someone watching her kids. _Are they certified in first aid and cpr? That's a must and are they academically sound? So many things to think about when hiring someone. _Olivia thought_._

His mother had gone home after dinner and Olivia's doctor stopped by and told her she wanted her up walking the maternity wing before she could discharge her since Olivia complained of a lot of cramping and pain from her lower abdomen. Her milk still had not come in but that wasn't anything to be alarmed, for some mothers it takes a few days or a week so they set up an appointment for the lactation specialist to visit their home in the next day or two. Nick's sister stop by with her family and also on day two of Olivia's hospital stay their colleagues from the Special Victims Unit came by with balloons and flowers.

"Hey guys come in." Olivia said sitting in the rocking chair holding Roxanne.

"Special delivery for a special detective." Amanda said. When the three saw Nick in the room they were somewhat shocked. When they got the call yesterday afternoon and his absence from the squad room had them thinking but as soon as they saw him there in her room it was evident who the father of Olivia's baby was. They acknowledged Nick who was standing against her bed texting pictures and attending to his phone.

"She's so beautiful Liv, I love her name." Amanda said kneeling beside the rocking chair wooing the baby.

"Thank you she said softly continuing to stare down at her. "She's my Roxy with the moxy." Olivia added chuckling."

"Yeah just like her momma." Fin added. When Nick made eye contact with his colleagues they smiled, it was a bit awkward but even out of the office they were all brothers and sisters in blue. Nick put his phone away and cleared his throat.

"Listen guys I'm so sorry I couldn't say anything." Sergeant Munch stepped to the front coming over to Olivia. Fin's eyes stayed on Nick and Amanda stepped to the side to give Munch room.

"Nick you don't need to explain it to us. She's our girl." He put his hand to the back of Olivia's shoulder and gave her a light squeeze. Olivia looked up at Munch with a smile. "And we know she's in excellent hands." He leaned down giving Olivia a kiss on the top of her head then tickled the baby smiling. "Mazel tov." He then moved over to Nick and held out his hand pulling him into shake hug. Amanda resumed her position squatting next to Olivia and Roxanne. It took Fin a few seconds and then he came over to Nick.

"Congratulations man it's all good."

"Thanks Fin means a lot."

"Now let me see my goddaughter." He added.

"Goddaughter?" Amanda scoffed. Fin leaned down and kissed Olivia on her cheek. Amanda came over to Nick giving him a hug. Nick took notice who was absent from the squad.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Olivia was cleared for discharge. The security tag was removed from the baby's leg and the infant seat passed the safety inspection and then they were on their way home.

It was 1:47 a.m. and they both were asleep probably for about a good solid 45 minutes when they heard Roxann'es cries.

"I hear someone in the crib." Nick said. Olivia was curled up to the back of Nick.

"I don't hear anything." She moaned rolling over. Nick had switched sides and now it was his turn to be nestled next to his girlfriend. Her cries were soft and intermittent at first but then they became more pronounced. Olivia moved Nick's arm off her shoulder scooting over watching him sleep. She lifted up his arm at his elbow that was covering his face.

"You know I read somewhere that if men practice enough they can breast feed." She said looking at him but he gave no response except to turn away from her. "Isn't that interesting Nick?" There was a low groan from him. Olivia removed the comforter off her and picked up her daughter from her crib and headed into the kitchen. As she tested the temperature of the milk she felt a small amount of liquid ooze from her breasts. Her milk was coming in.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"It's terrible what is happening to Maria. We never got along but now I wish I hadn't."

"No Lupe don't do this to yourself." Olivia told her holding her hand across her kitchen table. "We're all heart sorry for what Maria's going through and Zara and especially Nick who tried to make his marriage work despite the circumstances. It's the good times we all need to reflect on now." Lupe wiped the tears from her eyes as she got up to get a napkin and blow her nose.

"I worry about Zara she hasn't wanted to come up here these past two weeks."

"It's probably better she doesn't and what I mean by that is that she needs to be close by to her mom with no interruptions." Olivia got up and went over and hugged Nick's mom. The two women stood in an embrace until Olivia pulled back. "More tea?"

"No dear I'm fine." Olivia poured herself another cup.

A week had passed and Lupe had to return to her part time job as a middle school cafeteria worker. Nick was also returning to work.

"I wish you didn't have to go." Olivia said walking him to the door with Leo on her hip.

"Me either but gotta bring in a paycheck. I'll call you later." He kissed her softly on the lips then kissed Leo's head.

**xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"Hey Nick look at this." Olivia called him in to witness a first with Leo. He was sitting on the floor with her and Leo with Olivia's hand firmly in place supporting the baby's back. She slowly pulled her hand away and he sat up without falling backwards all by himself. Nick smiled ear to ear witnessing it then grabbing the camera that was close by snapping pictures of her and Leo.

"That's so great! Hey Leo you're sitting up all by yourself buddy. Look at me, hey Leo…smile." He put his hands together cooing at all the attention then picked up a plastic ring putting it into his mouth.

"Is that supposed to happen now?" He asked her.

"Yeah he's almost 6 months."

"Wow where does time go?"

"It passes and then we catch up to it." She added. Roxanne fussed in her carrier so Olivia rocked it seeing if she was going to stop. It wasn't quite her feeding time yet. When she didn't stop fussing Nick tossed her the burp cloth and she guided Roxanne to her breast.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Nick had just returned from seeing Maria and Zara and called for Olivia. She hollered up to him there was food on the stove if he was hungry and she would be up soon. He picked up Leo and they went and peaked in on Roxanne.

"Yeah your sister is asleep so shhh let's leave quietly before she wakes up way too early and mommy gets mad at me." They headed for the kitchen. I missed you bud." Nick placed a kiss on his cheek while wide eyed Leo turned his head looking around the kitchen. "What's under here?" He lifted up the foil and saw a hamburger with baked beans with a note that told him there was a bowl of salad in the refrigerator.

"Mmm I love baked beans how about you." Nick took a bean and mushed it up between his fingers feeding it to him. Leo likes baked beans. "You want another one huh, yeah I don't blame ya they're my favorite and mommy makes them tatse good with all the extra's she puts in them." Leo reached his hand out after Nick had put the foil back on his plate to eat later. "Haha that's my boy, can always eat." He kissed his cheek and they headed to the bedroom. "Guess we better get you ready for bed huh?" Nick loved the he cooed back every time he conversed with him. To Nick it meant in baby language Leo knew what he was saying to him. Olivia joined them in the room with a basket of laundry setting it down on the bed.

"How was everything?" she asked

"Sad, hard but I had a nice long talk with Zara and I told her that I'm not leaving her…she's afraid I am. She wakes up with nightmares." Olivia came over to the bed and sat down beside him. Leo was in the middle of them sucking on one of his plastic balls.

"Poor baby, I'm so glad you went down, I know it's been eating at you since she won't come to NY and you know Nick, kids can be resilient sometimes when it comes to things like this or they can be total shut ins." They watched Leo slobber all over the ball.

"Hey did you see the letter that came last week from vital statistics? We need to put a last name on the birth certificate so we can get the official copy and file her social security card." He said falling back and lifting the baby into the air with his hands and fly him like an airplane complete with engine noise.

"Yeah I saw the letter." She added.

"So?"

"Amaro." Olivia said making throat sounds like she was going to eat Leo the next time he passed by her.

"Really you sure you don't want a hyphened last name?" Nick said surprised.

"No I hate them, they're too long to spell on an application and it's almost a guarantee they'll never come out right at a graduation." Nick sat up getting down on the floor and Olivia joined them taking the baby from him, pulling him onto her lap playing with his hands and feet. "My mom had this friend whose maiden name became her daughter's middle name." Leo gazed up at her cooing as she showered him with kisses.

"What?"

"Yeah I thought it was kinda cool, unique if you think about it." She said.

"Let me get this straight. Our daughter is going to be named Roxanne Benson Amaro?" Nick said propping himself on his elbow.

"You don't like it?" she looked surprised at him. Leo babbled and Olivia whispered to him.

"Your daddy doesn't like your sisters middle name."

"No it's not that I don't like it I have to get used to it."

"I gave up trying to think what middle name sounded good with Roxanne, you said she needed a middle name, Leo has a middle name" Olivia kissed her son's head. "I don't have a middle name, you don't have a middle name." she added.

"Ok so she won't have a middle name."

"No, she will…the more I said it the more I liked it. She's going to be a fearless leader Nick; she's going to be able to face difficulty with spirit and courage."

"And with a middle name like Benson there's no doubt she will. She's so your daughter already Liv." He said scooting close to her feeling her hair through his fingers. She put Leo down and let him crawl then pushed Nick back down to the floor laying her upper body over his. Leo started in one direction then crawled back to Olivia and Nick who started to exchange short pecks.

"Leo go fetch get your monkey." He tossed the Curious George monkey behind him.

"Will you still love me when I'm the mother of two 18 year olds? I'll love you if you'll still love me." Nick lifted his face to meet hers with a sweet kiss. "Leo, why don't you go crawl into the next bedroom for the next 20 minutes?" Olivia said chuckling. They both hummed and laughed as they started into some heavy petting.

"Yeah get lost kid." Nick said laughed continuing his assault on Olivia's mouth. The baby came crawling up to them interrupting a romantic prelude.

"Just kidding Leo this is just non affectionate nonspecific behavior, no trauma ok you're not going to remember this, are you?" Nick laughed.

"Maaaybe I should put him to bed?" Olivia said giggling.

"Leo you look tired son." Nick said wagging his eyebrows.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Olivia was breast feeding Roxanne and softly singing to her when Nick walked into the kitchen.

"I admit I can't help it she's totally brilliant. She reached for me without me prompting her with my breast…just now."

"Can she get a job and take care of us? What good are you Roxie?" Nick leaned down kissing the top his daughter's head then pecked Olivia.

"Where did you get the shirt?"

"I bought it."

"When?" Nick looked at her while he poured his orange juice.

"When the cleaners who I've been going to for 12 years can't get a mustard stain out of my favorite blue shirt."

"You actually went out into the real world and bought something for yourself. What was it like?" She said sarcastically.

"Shut up." He laughed. "You don't like it?"

"No I do it looks great on you. Here you go Roxie say good morning to your daddy." Nick took her form Olivia's arms as she covered up.

"Aw sweet heart you don't have a care in the world right now except sleeping and mommy's breast and if your daddy was smart he would adopt the same concept. Let's give mommy a kiss."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Nick and Olivia had his mom and sister over for dinner but when Olivia opened the door she not only found his mom and sister but a gentleman named Henry.

"Hello." Olivia said greeting them.

"Hi, how are you?' his sister asked.

"I'm good, exhausted as you can relate." Olivia added.

"Yes all too well and mines soon to be four." They three women hugged and then they entered.

"Oh Olivia this is my friend Henry Weston." Lupe said.

"She says her friend but really it's her…" Anita said laughing. Her mother pushed her daughter further into the house slapping her lightly on the back scoffing.

Hi, welcome it's nice to meet you." Olivia extended her hand.

"Likewise, it's a pleasure." Henry said shaking her hand.

"Nick's just on the phone I'll get him" Olivia said going to retrieve Nick.

"Ma?...I'm just saying hello to my mom, let me call you back…ok bye. Hey ma how are you?" He hugged her planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Oh Nick sorry this is Henry. The look on his face said it all. His mother never told him she was dating this man.

"Weston, doctor, bellhop, you can call me Henry."

"It's nice to meet you; your mother speaks very highly of you."

"Can't be all good." Nick said trying to muster up a smile shaking hands with him. When Olivia had his mother out of earshot from the men, she came over to Lupe with Roxanne in her arms.

"Where's my other munchkin?" his mom asked smoothing her granddaughter's head asking with her arms to hold Roxanne. Olivia passed the baby over to her.

"Nick just put him down a half hour ago, sorry."

"So?" Olivia crossed her arms and raised her brows with big curious and nosy eyes, gesturing towards Henry. Lupe took her granddaughter from Olivia kissing her, looking sarcastically at her son's girlfriend.

"So." She said laughing with Olivia. Nick had tried his hand at displaying his culinary skills and buried himself in the kitchen. He stood against the counter palms firmly on the counter top wondering why his mother would bring a man to dinner without consulting him and be dating him too? Olivia excused herself to feed Roxanne and then put her down.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

"This looks amazing mijo, I love Caesar salad." His mom said.

"It does sweetie thank you." Olivia added patting his arm. Nick prepared to serve the salad.

"Why don't you sit down your girlfriend just had a baby let me handle this?" Henry said.

"This looks wonderful." Olivia said.

"Salt and pepper…we need salt and pepper." Nick said getting up heading to the kitchen.

"This is how I worked my way through college." Henry added.

"Really?" Nick's sister looked at him with a smile.

"Olivia with the lovely name." He handed her a bowl.

"Thank you Henry." Olivia said smiling at him then averted her gaze at Lupe and Anita.

"Lupe with the laughing eyes." He handed her a bowl.

"Anita, beautiful daughter of Lupe." He said.

"Thank you." she smiled at her mother's friend.

"Nick." Henry went to pass the bowl to him but pulled back the bowl. "Did you ever wonder why, I mean what we know about why it's called Caesar salad? The history?"

"Um it's in the bible right? Recipe section?" Nick said sitting down taking his bowl from Henry. Olivia passed him a look feeling a little uncomfortable with Nick's standoffish attitude towards his mother's friend.

"Henry knows a lot about the history of food." Lupe said.

"It's my hobby. I like to know where things come from. There are so many things that surround us that we take for granted like this salad. Do we ever ask why have we been given this gift? No…we just eat."

"Ok I'm curious and I'm starving." Olivia said smiling.

"Ok you eat I'll talk. There was this guy, Caesar Cardinni. One day all there was to eat in the house was lettuce, cheese…"

"Anchovy." Lupe said helping him out.

"And an egg." He finished listing the ingredients. "All of sudden he threw it together and voila! Now every time I taste it I think of him and I thank him."

"I'll thank him too." Olivia said shoveling a forkful of salad in.

"Eat." Nick's mom said touching Henry's arm.

"We need some butter." Nick said getting up going back into the kitchen.

"Are you two busy Wednesday night?" He looked across the table at Olivia. "Of course, sorry."

'I have a friend who prefers to remain anonymous can fix us up with tickets to the Phantom of the Opera."

"Henry that's wonderful." Lupe said.

"Mmm." Olivia purred.

"You haven't seen it have you?" Henry asked her. She shook her head no.

"We haven't seen anything."

"Liv that's not true, we just saw Fiddler on the Roof." Nick added.

"Well I couldn't go because of the babies and all." Olivia said.

"Oh that's right honey the babies, sorry Ben we can't…not right now though" Nick was quick to say.

"But but you 3 could go. I can listen to it on tape." She told him smiling batting her eyelashes at him.

"That's very big of you Olivia." Nick's sister said continuing to eat her salad.

"Well Olivia is a pretty big person." Nick said sarcastically looking at her smiling.

"We need some water." Nick jumped up again. All four looked at him.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo**

The last of the dishes were put away. Olivia noticed Nick's mood as he leaned against the refrigerator with his arms crossed. She wiped her hands on the towel arranging it neatly over the oven handle.

"So your mom was taking this class and her eyes were hurting her from all the reading and Henry was in the class and he was an eye doctor and a widower who has 5 daughters of which one of them has muscular dystrophy so anyways he looked into her eyes with that light and she looked into his and…Oh I just think it's so romantic. Doesn't your mother just look so beautiful?"

"Yeah I guess, it's just feels weird that's all."

"It does? Aw they're in love, I think it's great."

"What if he's just using my mom for sex?"

"Nick!" She made a face at him feeling flabbergasted.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo **

Nick got ready to go to the show with his mother and Henry. He witnessed a sweet moment between his mom and her friend as they waited for him to find his coat. Olivia joined them with her son on her hip. "Try to be nice to Henry please?" she said handing him his coat.

"You gonna be ok?" he asked her.

"Yeah…no…I don't know, I've never had a baby before." She shook her head looking into his eyes chuckling.

"You're getting used to it it's becoming easier huh?"

"Not when you're involved." She smiled, patting his backside, giving him a sweet peck on the lips. "Just have fun ok?"

"Alright."

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Olivia came from the shower towel drying her hair. Nick was in the process of getting undressed.

"I talked to your mom today; she told me how your evening went."

"What did she say?"

"What's wrong with Henry?" She gave him a look of disgust.

"He's not my father, he has no business just taking over my mother's life!"

"Taking over? He's not taking over anything Nick. I don't believe you, here's a very nice man who respects and loves your mother and you can't even be happy for her!"

"He's just pushy that's all."

"Oh it would be ok for your abusive father to be pushy, a real asshole who left you and sister fatherless when you both were young kids and it took your mom years to overcome the trauma and she finally finds happiness and you begrudge her for it! Your sister has accepted it why can't you?"

"Whoa wait a minute are you nuts Liv? I don't begrudge her, I don't even know this guy."

"You do begrudge her Nick you just can't see the forest for the trees and I think you do know him Nick you just don't want to!"

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Maria's parents called Nick and informed them they were moving Maria to hospice. She may have a week or less. He took a leave absence from work and headed to D.C.

"I'm so sorry Nick, my thoughts and prayers are with her and her family and you." She hugged him long and tight as he packed his suitcase. Maria had passed away on his 3rd day there.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

When he returned home 6 days later he had Zara. It was almost 11 o'clock when they came through the door. She was asleep in his arms. Olivia came from the bed room; the couch had been all made up. Nick gently put his sleeping daughter down kissing her forehead. Nick turned to her and fell into her arms sobbing. She kissed his cheek and rubbed the back of his neck firmly pressing her other hand into his back. His tears felt warm to her as they soaked into her shoulder.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

It was the next day, Saturday morning and all five of them were in the kitchen having breakfast. Zara was quiet just pushing around her pancakes with her fork. Nick feed Leo his favorite, a jar of apples and pears. Olivia breast fed Roxanne as she smoothed her hand down the back of Zara often petting her long jet back hair. Nick excused himself from the table.

"Where are you going?" Olivia asked.

"I want my mom to be happy, I'm going to make it right with Henry." He said.

"I want to go and see abuelita too." Zara said getting up coming to him. Nick kneeled down meeting her gaze. Both their eyes still showed signs of being tired and hurt. Olivia wiped at her eyes watching.

"Piquita I need to go by myself ok, I promise we'll go this week and have dinner."

"Hey Zara sweetie, I could sure use your help with putting Roxanne down and then Leo in a little bit." The child turned and looked at her father's girlfriend with little emotion and nodded yes. Olivia held out her one arm as Zara walked over to her. She scooped her up holding her close to her side, kissing the side of her head. Nick's eyes were wet witnessing the tender moment. They looked at one another from across the kitchen. "I love you." Olivia mouthed.

"I love you too." Nick mouthed back. He grabbed his keys and gave her a wink.

The summer arrived and the babies were getting big. Leo was trying to stand at 8 months but as always the end result would be a loud thud on the carpet. He definitely had the legs of a NY Giants running back Nick proudly bragged. Roxanne was 3 months and already had distinct features of her mother, the lips, the dark dazzling smoldering eyes and 1000 watt smile. Zara was getting better. Nick had taken her to family counseling with him a few days after they returned to NY. Gil was happy to be part of Nick's growing family and finally called him dad. His divorce was final one week before the first day of summer. He asked Olivia to marry him and she accepted. The 8x10 picture of their family of 6, sits proudly on the gas fireplace mantle.

**The end…**

*THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR FANTASTIC REVIEWS* I may do a sequel depending on how busy my summer is. I have two college classes I'm taking to finish up my Associates degree then hopefully next spring I can transfer to New Mexico State University to study criminal justice.


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